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To the oblivious mother...



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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 2:33 pm
Dear Oblivious Mother,

I was driving down Decatur Avenue yesterday at 5:20pm when, to my horror, your 3-year old and 5-year old boys ran into the street. I had to make a shortstop to avoid hitting both of them. I beeped my horn to stop them from running further. They did not appear startled in the least but did stop running. You were sitting on the chair on your driveway, a good distance from the road, and were so engrossed in your shmoozing that you didn't notice that A) your kids were running into the street, and B) that they almost got hit.

I beeped again, loud and long, to catch your attention, but still, you did not look up towards the road to see what was going on. I then figured I'll stop the car and run over to you but my baby was in the back seat and I didn't want to leave him unattended.

You could have gone to sleep last night without your two boys. If you are outside to supervise your children, you should be doing just that. If you're so engrossed that you couldn't hear my beeping, you are not watching your little children. And you are not fit to be a mother.

I drove away reeling, shaking at your lack of care for your children, as well as your selfishness - what would have happened had I chas v'shalom run over your kids? Imagine what I would feel like. You care more about your social life than your children's wellbeing? This is not the first time I've seen a mother do something like you did, but yesterday it shook me even more because now I have a child and I know what being a mother is supposed to be like.

Suggestions: You should get a gate for the end of your driveway if your kids are prone to running wild. Second, when you are outside with them, you should be in an alert state of mind so you can know what's happening to them.

Signed,
A shaken Monsey Mom.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 2:49 pm
something similar happened to me last year when a kid rode his bike right in front of my car ... I really could have hit him if I wasn't driving ultra slow to begin with so I could make that short stop ... I made him show me where he lived and spoke to his father

in this case the father showed concern

I've seen cases like yours where the parent is too busy socializing to realize or care that their toddler is in the street

it's quite unnerving - thankfully everyone is okay
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 3:16 pm
First I thought she was deaf. But then she should REALLY be looking at the road.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 3:21 pm
I know someone who was in the car with her husband late at night a few years ago when it was freezing cold & snowing. The roads we full of ice and there was little visibility. Her husband was driving slowly, but it was a dark, windy road (Spook Rock Road in Monsey). There was a little girl (3-5 years old) who ran into the street wearing black tights, a black coat, black shoes, and a black hat. My friend did not notice the girl, but her husband saw some light blonde hair sticking out. He didn't even realize it was a child and thought it was an animal. He quickly stopped and BH did not hurt the girl. He was so shaken up and livid that he took the girls hand, asked her where she lived, and knocked on her door. He told the mother "I almost ran over your daughter." He said that she just took the little girl back and shut the door.
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 4:50 pm
amother wrote:
I know someone who was in the car with her husband late at night a few years ago when it was freezing cold & snowing. The roads we full of ice and there was little visibility. Her husband was driving slowly, but it was a dark, windy road (Spook Rock Road in Monsey). There was a little girl (3-5 years old) who ran into the street wearing black tights, a black coat, black shoes, and a black hat. My friend did not notice the girl, but her husband saw some light blonde hair sticking out. He didn't even realize it was a child and thought it was an animal. He quickly stopped and BH did not hurt the girl. He was so shaken up and livid that he took the girls hand, asked her where she lived, and knocked on her door. He told the mother "I almost ran over your daughter." He said that she just took the little girl back and shut the door.

Don't get me started on the Men in Black!
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scrltfr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 4:58 pm
Which is why I always drive slowly in certain areas
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 5:00 pm
My sister in law is this mother. Her kids constantly wander off and her youngest is special needs and will walk out of the house while she is busy schmoozing or texting. Unfortunately parents like this won't learn until something bad happens.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:45 am
amother wrote:
I know someone who was in the car with her husband late at night a few years ago when it was freezing cold & snowing. The roads we full of ice and there was little visibility. Her husband was driving slowly, but it was a dark, windy road (Spook Rock Road in Monsey). There was a little girl (3-5 years old) who ran into the street wearing black tights, a black coat, black shoes, and a black hat. My friend did not notice the girl, but her husband saw some light blonde hair sticking out. He didn't even realize it was a child and thought it was an animal. He quickly stopped and BH did not hurt the girl. He was so shaken up and livid that he took the girls hand, asked her where she lived, and knocked on her door. He told the mother "I almost ran over your daughter." He said that she just took the little girl back and shut the door.

It wasn't me B"H, but I also would have done the same thing. My embarrassment, fear, guilt, etc. would have all combined to make me speechless. Upon bringing DD inside, I would probably simultaneously scream at her for going outside without asking permission, hug her too tightly, and cry. Then I would be shaking all night and lock the doors ten times and have nightmares.

What WOULD be the appropriate response, when a child thought to be in bed is suddenly brought inside by a stranger who states that negligence almost lost that child's life?

I sometimes space out when I am talking, and knowing that my kids usually DON'T run into the road, I could imagine not even assuming that a honking horn is for me.

Not to justify it, but understand that it has nothing to do with not loving the children or being a negligent parent in general. I would hope that someone would point out to me that a driveway fence would be appropriate in this case.
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sped




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 20 2014, 3:34 am
I spent a week's vacation with family, among whom was a little boy who was just (or soon to be) diagnosed as autistic. Whatever we did, he would run out. We tried keeping all the doors locked, but inevitably, someone would forget. (There were a lot of adults and kids there.) People kept coming over saying things like - how could you just let a child out alone....
The child's mother said to me - I go through this all the time. People think I am a terrible mother and don't care... She has B"H other kids and being kids, they also don't always remember to lock the door.
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