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Forum
-> Judaism
-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
amother
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Tue, May 29 2012, 8:39 am
My father in law just lost his brother and will be sitting shiva. Will my husband need to keep any laws of aveilus for the duration of the shiva? I remember a friend not being allowed to attend a wedding whilst her mother was sitting shiva for her parent, is that only because it was the girl's grandparent or are there general halachos when a parent is sitting shiva?
Don't worry I won't follow ImaRabbi blindly and will clarify with a Rav, just want to know what the possibilities are. May we only share good news!
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c.c.cookie
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Tue, May 29 2012, 8:41 am
I also remember that you're not supposed to go to weddings when your parent is sitting shiva.
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motherinisrael
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Tue, May 29 2012, 9:19 am
We were told no weddings during the week of shiva until Shabbos.
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amother
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Tue, May 29 2012, 9:23 am
motherinisrael wrote: | We were told no weddings during the week of shiva until Shabbos. |
Did the parent lose a parent or sibling?
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Marion
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Tue, May 29 2012, 12:49 pm
I think these are done out of respect for the parent, not because one is in aveilut.
By the same token, I do remember reading (Rabbi Lamm) that one who feels close to the person who passed away (a son-in-law or daughter-in-law or sibling-in-law) is PERMITTED to take on some of the halachot of aveilut such as avoiding smachot, but it's not at all obligatory.
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amother
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Tue, May 29 2012, 2:39 pm
My mother just lost her brother 2 weeks ago- I was not allowed to go to any weddings, vorts, or simchas for the week of aveilus until shabbos. It has nothing to do with who your parent is sitting for.
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Isramom8
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Tue, May 29 2012, 2:45 pm
It probably just seems right, but in some circumstances it wouldn't apply. I live near my father. When he sat shiva for his brother, I basically sat with him all week.
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ntm1
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Tue, May 29 2012, 2:53 pm
It usually applies only if you live in the same city as your parent who is sitting shiva.
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amother
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Wed, May 30 2012, 8:48 am
ntm1 wrote: | It usually applies only if you live in the same city as your parent who is sitting shiva. |
Update - OP here. Although FIL lives nearby he is sitting shiva in another city so our Rav paskened that it's ok for DH to attend. Thanks.
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amother
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Wed, May 30 2012, 8:52 am
Just to clarify - I just realised that I never mentioned that the question was about attending a relatives wedding. Though we were told that if FIL was sitting shiva in town he wouldn't be permitted to attend.
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amother
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Sun, Mar 23 2014, 10:26 am
I am now in this situation, what about showers
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shalhevet
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Sun, Mar 23 2014, 10:42 am
amother wrote: | I am now in this situation, what about showers |
I was told that this only applies when you are in the same place as your parents - about the same city I'm not sure. Applies when in the shiva house (except you don't need to take off your shoes). I was told that otherwise there are no restrictions at all - it is to do with koved for your parents and is nothing to do with who they are sitting shiva for, even if that person was not related to you at all (e.g. a spouse from a subsequent marriage).
But since other people here learned differently, ask your LOR.
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