Upcoming Simcha Advice?

amother

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 2:14 am

B"H, I'm anticipating the upcoming engagement of my oldest grandchild. There will be a Le'Chaim, followed by a Vort, probably a few days later. I don't know what would be appropriate for us to send for these celebrations - a flower arrangement, a balloon arrangement, a candy platter, or....? And should I send 2 things - one for each party? I want to do the right thing, and at the same time, although I wish I could afford to, I can't spend an exorbitant amount for something as lavish and extravagant, as I would like. I would really appreciate some good suggestions.
This may probably be the first of several simcha-related questions, as our family enters this new and very exciting parsha.

chani4

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 2:16 am

amother wrote:

There are no rules there are no right things. Just show your love as a loving grandmother u seem to be. Which will be more appreciated then any lavish gift. Flowers are nice always. Mazal tov

PinkFridge

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 10:01 am

Usually the choson's parents send flowers. Considering what they cost, and your parameters, if you were going to spend the money you'd probably want something lasting. You're probably safe with a homemade specialty for the more informal l'chaim and a nice candy tray or balloons for the vort.
Something you may want to think about: what will you be able to do, be"H for all the grandchildren? Some are able to make extravagant gestures, or a standard gift, e.g. money towards furniture. Others can't, and that's fine. Think about what you can do that will be appreciated, even if it's more for the sentimental value.

Mazel tov! Iy"H by all of us!

underthestars

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 10:07 am

Mazel Tov!! May you be zoche to celebrate the simchas of many grandchildren's chasunah's and simchas!!!!

I don't think there are any set rules for the grandparents for these kind of things but the only piece of advice I would reiterate, like Pinkfrige said, whatever you do for one, you should do for the others. so please keep that in mind. Kids are very sensitive about these things and they will remember and compare, even if they don't voice it. So, think about your finances, both present and possible future (whatever you can possibly think about for future) and make a decision taking that into consideration. Also remember, they will be happy with whatever you do---they love you and are so happy right now anyway!! Having you share in their simcha will bring them happiness!!

Mazel Tov again!

amother

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 11:41 am

there are no set standards in my circles. when I got engaged my grandparents gave us a challa board for an engagement present and hadlasks neiros plaque for our wedding present. (they live in diff city). my other grandparents gave a nice cash present. dhs grandparents 1 also gave $ and the other candlesticks.
none gave anything for the lchiam or vort (all fine-esp since none of them came for oot reasons) and all did more then expected for the gifts they gave.
cute idea-that shouldnt be to much, is get a platter or bowl, makesomething for it (salad in the bowl, baked goods or candy on the platter) and after the vort its for the chosson & kalla (also can keep vase flowers came in)
but def come up with a budget/idea for all future weddings and stick with it.
hatzlocha and mazel tov!

Raisin

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 11:49 am

I think getting the chassan and kallah a nice gift - either cash or an item you know they want, would be more appreciated if you have a limited budget.

None of my grand parents were alive by my wedding but my great aunt got each of us a nice set of good cutlery. The same gift for each grandchild.

greenfire

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 11:56 am

Raisin wrote:

... my great aunt got each of us a nice set of good cutlery. The same gift for each grandchild.

great idea ... my friend's mother bought me a set of cutlery & I still have it ... talk about long-term value

yomomf

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 2:16 pm

My grandmother took each of us shopping for linens (bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen). She had a budget of how much she wanted to spend. It was fun to have an outing with her and bond while getting another errand done...

mummiedearest

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 4:04 pm

my grandparents came in for our l'chaim. that was such a nice surprise, and that was enough. you don't need to give a gift or have a display to show your excitement. go, wish the young couple a mazal ov, and then buy them a wedding present that is within your budget. try to get something good quality so it can become a family heirloom. that doesn't mean it has to cost more than you can afford.

amother

Sun, Mar 30 2014, 4:39 pm

Hi all.
OP here. Thanks so much for the replies so far. Just to be clear, we will definitely be giving them an engagement gift, besides the flowers/balloons/ basket or platter that I'm trying to decide on. As we don't live in the immediate area - Can anyone recommend places in or near Monsey, NY that carry any of these things I'm consideriing, to be delivered earlier in the day when the tables are set up?