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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Is gender segregation causing girls to crush on girls?
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BlueRose52




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 01 2014, 11:22 am
Parallel thread: http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....40605
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 01 2014, 12:26 pm
Let's not idealize either segregated or unsegregated.

Crushes happen everywhere, so does solidarity. I have not necessarily noticed the most insular to be the most solidar.

Let's not assume that boys and girls "never played together", especially cousins. If anything it is rather new to be not at all in touch with all girls/boys except parents, it comes from fewer siblings, fewer cousins, distances, not playing outside. They even sometimes "saw animals" .
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 01 2014, 12:42 pm
amother wrote:
No.

Even many secular studies show that gender segregated studies are best for one's development. Particularly for girls.


especially for girls, especially in science courses... my lite MO mom is for it after puberty or something, for this reason and to "calm" classes.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 01 2014, 12:47 pm
Hugging a friend is not lesbian or gay !
There are people like that who hug a lot, or touch your arm a lot when talking to you. If it was borderline they wouldn't do it in public.
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Imogen




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 01 2014, 5:50 pm
Tactile platonic relationships exist and hugs etc are important shows of support, affection and affirmation. If you ever spend time around the elderly you will see how much they crave touch and get comfort from holding hands or patting a young child in a motherly way.

It is natural for young girls to support each other and that can mean giving enormous emotional comfort in teenage years, kind words, a hug of friendship or written words of appreciation.

I am not naive, but nor do I find it healthy to scrutinise the development of the young too closely, part of growing up is finding your own voice and confidence, for some that can involve close intense friendships. It may appear to be needy but youthful neediness is not to be condemned outright, I personally find those who are cold and withdrawn from others harder to deal with. What is important is those that have had close all consuming relationships with girls in their youthis to learn to take that intensity and share it with their spouses, learning to bond with him and look beyond male / female divide in communication. For a young frum guy an intense wife can be a scary thing, after years of repression and splendid isolation from the female mind.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Oct 10 2018, 1:57 pm
I stumbled across this old thread when I was searching for a recipe over yomtov, very interesting read to say the least, I must have missed it back then.

From my personal experience I had this huge crush on a young HS teacher, I use to try to see her when I was able to, nothing happen between us but I use to get flush and very wet down there when I use to stare at her in class.
I also had a physical relationship with a classmate, we were not close but once when we were studying she slept overnight and we were talking, then feeling the we went all the way.

I once told this to DH and he laughed and said it is much more common by boys, most boys have fool around 2/3 times
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