Something thoughtful for broken heart?

amother

Wed, Apr 09 2014, 12:07 am

Someone I have a relationship with just suffered a severe upset. Not a romance, but a different relationshippy thing. They poured their heart and soul into trying to help and care for someone (a mutual relative of ours), went through tons of stress with them, developed a relationship, and there was just a major upheaval in their situation leaving us all sad and worried - those are not strong enough words but you get the idea. But none more than this individual who had spent more time and energy with them than anyone else and feels a special closeness. If I am distraught, she is downright depressed. I have given up hope for helping the person she was trying to help; I wish I could but at this point I realize there is really nothing I can do except pray that all turns out well or at least less disastrous. But for this mutual relative who is so distressed right now and has been an angel for them all along, I wish I could do something for her. Nothing will take away the hurt she is experiencing and anything I can think of seems so feeble. I would love to send her something thoughtful and meaningful but I don't know what.

She is a retired (but active) middle-aged woman who is spiritual but not really frum. I don't know of any particular hobbies or interests or favorite foods (except that she's a health-conscious vegetarian, so I'm not sure how well a box of chocolates would go over) or anything.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Apr 09 2014, 12:27 am

Offer her what you really have that she doesn't, and that's your cosmic vision as a frum person. You don't have to be inventive and re-write the Torah. It's already there. Ask her permission to discuss her experience with your Rav and bring his viewpoint back to her. She may want to meet him.

Blessed, etc, ..who comforts the bereaved. She sounds bereaved. A mourner.

Without cosmic vision, life just stinks sometimes, blindly and horribly, so let her have some of your cosmic vision.

I am guessing you have a religious take on what happened. So share that. Or, just let her see you handing these events that way. She will be strengthened by observing your dignified faith, even if she isn't open to talking about it.