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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
Am I the ONLY one who has had it??
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amother


 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 1:11 am
I am sick of the whole pesach thing!
I do not want to cook/bake any more!!
I do not stop working! From the time the men go to shul in the morning till they come home to fress yet another huge carnivouros meal! I don't even like meat!
I came home this evening from doing yet another grocery shopping and my dh got mad at ME for getting mad at him for not putting the stuff away whule I was baking downstairs. I came upstairs to get something and he was watching game of thrones online. I got so angry I was ready to throw something at him!
I am never finished! Always more to cook or bake! Don't have much outside help as I just csant afford it. I want my old life back with going to work and coming home. Why is this called a holiday??
I don't feel free at all! I feel enslaved.
Am I alone in this?
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 1:15 am
I am sure you are not alone
pesach is very hard work for us women
does not feel like the best kind of freeedom to me either!
I wish I could have a vacation for two weeks after everyone goes back to school, halevai

hugs
maybe you will feel better if you calm down what you are doing, in ohter words, it sounds like you have been overachieving until now. Maybe cut stuff out of your menu, or introduce your husband and kids to kitchen jobs too. my sons have been helping me peel potatoes, make cookies, it makes you feel much bettter to have company in the kitchen.

trim your menu a bit. you will feel happier for it
good luck
enjoy the rest of yomtov, and treat yourself to a new book to read on yomtov, or some good swiss chocolate
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 1:17 am
btw, it doesnt have to always be carnivorous meals, you can do fish, or dairy sometimes.
my family likes a yomtov meal of salad, gefilte fish, blintz souffle and potato kugel. lighter on the stomach, not too hard to make, maybe try it?
I can give you the recipe for blintz souffle if you want, it is very easy, (but I do use ready made cheese blintzes KLP)
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amother


 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 1:20 am
I would love that! But my family would not go for it at all. And my daughter and sil are coming for last days and they don't eat dairy. I have to make meat meals have been for the last 28 yrs - can't change that now.
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citimom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:06 am
Make sure you rest!! Build an hour into your day to sleep, read, watch a movie, whatever! It will do you much good!! And my husband is the same way... I've learned to be specific with both him and my kids... "A., please hang up the two sweaters that are on the floor, DH, please take out that garbage now, etc" and break it down to one job at a time... Unfortunately that's all they an handle...
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:14 am
I had a hard day yesterday. It is a lot of never ending work making all of these special memories, foods, etc. I love yomtov but really need help with it all.

B"H my kids are getting bigger though and they can - and will - help. It isn't an option. If they want their favorite foods and to go on trips they need to get dressed, daven, and pick a certain number of jobs off of the list to do in the morning. Those jobs include simple cooking tasks, lots of peeling and some cleaning jobs. It is a huge help, both physically and emotionally.
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:22 am
Isn't your husband also on holiday? He should be doing half the cooking. You wouldn't feel so overwhelmed.
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:34 am
Make less! - Someone said "overachiever" - make simple. Someone said memorable meals. Let Matza and butter be your memories

Make simple simple simple - All desserts are brownies (use my BROWNIES RECIPE). Cook today for the end too - same kugel, same soup, meatballs...). No appetizer. Make salad on Shabbat/Chag - don't start preparing "interesting" salads.

If you have kids old enough to help, let (make) them. If they're too young simplify your menu. Ask your husband to clean up the kitchen when you're done. Hand him the shopping list (and some kids if they're little) - And next year don't invite guests

I find Pesach cooking so much easier - less choices of what to make. Fewer pots/bowls...
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:47 am
Meat meals are the easiest. One pot with meat and veggies. Add matza and one salad, and you're done.

But that's not the real issue here, I think. Seems you're just not having fun. OP, what do YOU like to do on chag? What do YOU want to do for fun??

You count, you matter! Nobody is taking care of YOU! Sad
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:55 am
Tablepoetry wrote:
Isn't your husband also on holiday? He should be doing half the cooking. You wouldn't feel so overwhelmed.


Adding to the husband thing. My husband doesn't really cook (my tremendous mistake when we first got married), but he's willing to help if I ask (on his own it's a disaster and takes too long). So, for example, erev chag I asked him to just mix the meatball mixture - I added the eggs, matza meal, taste and meanwhile I made the sauce. When he was done, I innocently asked him to make the balls and throw in the pot - Didn't seem like a big deal at first (he says he made 187 meat balls!)

The minute he walks out the door I ask him to stop by the store for a few things (I always have a list ready)

At some point I'll ask him to "just" do the dishes in the B'sari sink...

If your husband never helped in the kitchen don't expect him to appreciate what's involved, but you don't have to teach him to cook - Just give him jobs (like you do with kids Very Happy )
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 6:30 am
Tell your DH you are overwhelmed and in need of help. Tell him that you want to find a way to get his help BEFORE you reach the end of your rope. Ask him the best way to communicate. Written notes with "must be completed by" times? Requests in the morning that he can figure out when he will do? Shorter work time but "drop whatever you are doing and come help me this instant" kind of pitching in?

My DH likes lists. And he likes them online, on a Google document. As long as I give him the format he looks at, and the jobs that he enjoys, they get done. (I'm a big believer in letting the rest of the family choose what helping they like best. As long as they are working, I don't care what tasks are left.)

On Sunday, why don't you take a break? Delegate the work, and do what YOU like. If it doesn't get done, too bad. I bet nobody starves.

That's what I did on the first days when I ran out of steam.
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 6:51 am
OP - you didn't say if you have big kids who can help but just aren't "trained" or babies who the biggest help DH can give is taking them out for a few hours. Are you having company? (Let them bring a salad, dessert, kugel... whatever takes something off your list). And don't try to impress company. Just make sure there's enough.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 9:44 am
op, I make a milchig meal at least once over y't. preferably twice. since your relatives don't eat milchigs, make pareve. dairy-less omelets are yummy, as is fish. oh, and have your dh wash the dishes or keep you company in the kitchen while you cook (which allows you to nonchalantly hand him a peeler and 20 pounds of potatoes...). or just make what you want to eat and let everyone else fend for themselves. give yourself a break.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 10:22 am
I'm with you. I don't like pesach. I feel like a slave, the cleaning cooking everyone's always hungry and has bad diapers, belly aches, I'm 9 months pregnant for the 3rd time during pesach. With bunch of little kids and no money for help. My husband loves pesach and gets into the drinking spirit which makes him less useful. I haven't slept in weeks and I can't believe I have to cook and clean for Shabbos and 2 more days of yom tov. I'm ready to pack up the pesach stuff and quit. I can't even think of one thing to do to enjoy any of this.
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 11:21 am
amother wrote:
I'm with you. I don't like pesach. I feel like a slave, the cleaning cooking everyone's always hungry and has bad diapers, belly aches, I'm 9 months pregnant for the 3rd time during pesach. With bunch of little kids and no money for help. My husband loves pesach and gets into the drinking spirit which makes him less useful. I haven't slept in weeks and I can't believe I have to cook and clean for Shabbos and 2 more days of yom tov. I'm ready to pack up the pesach stuff and quit. I can't even think of one thing to do to enjoy any of this.

Is this the third time in a row you're pregnant on pesach, or just in general? If it's the first case, I would strongly recommend avoiding that next time around.
Your husband has a family he's responsible for now. He can't just go all jolly drinking when you have little kids to take care of. Not OK.
Everyone's always hungry.....if they're little, simple food should suffice. If they're big, let them help if they want to eat special food.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 1:24 pm
Actually it's the 4 yr pesach that I'm pregnant out of 6 yrs of marriage. Trust me when I say I tried to avoid it this time. My oldest is 5 and no one can help make they're own food. It's 4 cups of wine both nights so dh is pretty useless after that. I'm hiding in my room and he's taking care of everyone all day. It's either cook or have everyone cry that they are hungry, so I guess I have to come out of hiding soon Sad
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 3:06 pm
Just make the simplest possible food.

Well unfortunately you can't make a pot of rice or spaghetti, though if you used processed Pesachdig food? I would just put up a big roast (if DH will slice it?) or do chicken cutlets dipped some potato starch oil, & eggs, on a cookie sheet, and a pot of potatoes. And open a bag of lettuce.
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spinkles




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 3:25 pm
Just stick chicken, potatoes, and carrots in a giant covered roaster. Let bake a long time. Serve with cucumber slices for a side. Melon or grape juice ices for dessert. Voila!

No need to go crazy cooking!!
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cbg




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 3:29 pm
boysrus wrote:
I wish I could have a vacation for two weeks after everyone goes back



Is it possible for you take off a day just for you right after Chag. Plan it so you do the basic minimal and pamper yourself any way you see fit. Even if it's just in the hours DH goes to work and kids are in school.
This way you have a mini vacation to look forward to.
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Apr 18 2014, 4:25 pm
cbg wrote:
Is it possible for you take off a day just for you right after Chag. Plan it so you do the basic minimal and pamper yourself any way you see fit. Even if it's just in the hours DH goes to work and kids are in school.
This way you have a mini vacation to look forward to.


thanks cbg, I wish. I already took off way too much time this winter because of constantly being sick...
I will continue to dream!
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