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-> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections
-> The Imamother Writing Club
amother
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Thu, Apr 17 2014, 9:28 am
Seder night
Abstract white
Kittel starched
Throats parched
“Kaddeish!” he demands,
“Kaddeish!” they chant.
Poise unsteady
Anticipation heady
Wine fills
Grape juice spills.
Eyes sparkle
Melodies warble
Seder night!
Stimulating trite
Yearly ritual
Soothingly habitual
Kid clamors
Toddler stammers
Irchatz, Carpas!
Irchatz, Carpas!
Potatoes dipped
Saltwater pricked,
Children finicky
Brine icky
Seder night!
Solemn recite.
Yachats, Magged,
Slaves ragged
Children comply
Strangely shy
Ma nishtanah,
Blockbuster parshah
Weeks rehearsed
Perfectly versed
Parents kvell
Nachas spell
Seder night!
Passions ignite
Exodus told
Miracles unfold
All alert
Some insert
Ruchtzah finally
Rinsing silently
Stomach grumbling
Matzoh summoning
Marror yuck
Tzarros suck.
Seder night!
Historic plight
Plagues ten
Relived again
Tzav chaddash bchav
Tzav chaddash bchav!
Fingers dip
Purple drips
Yidden consoled
Hashem extolled
Phenomena rivets
Eliyahu visits
Its seder night!
Almighty might
Jews incarcerated
You liberated
Faith strong
400 years long
Reality defies
Statistic belies
Yet behold!
Jews uphold.
Through pain
Through strain.
Seder night!
Queries invite
Questions resolved
Doubts absolved
None scorned
Each warmed
Torah retorts
Skeptic distorts
Well equipped
A flawless script
Torah remains
Truth reigns
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amother
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Thu, Apr 17 2014, 5:19 pm
I enjoy getting feedback. Anyone?
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MaBelleVie
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Thu, Apr 17 2014, 5:26 pm
Given that it's your take, I can't really argue with the content
Technically, I dislike when non rhyming words are used as rhymes. But I'm picky like that.
I'm glad your Seder experience was so positive!
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imasinger
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Fri, Apr 18 2014, 3:43 am
You chose a very difficult rhyme and rhythm scheme!
I wonder -- did you really mean "stimulating trite"?
Trite means "boring from much use : not fresh or original".
From the rest of your poem, it would seem that you don't find the Hagada boring, overused, or hackneyed.
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Isramom8
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Fri, Apr 18 2014, 5:07 am
What comes across to me is the deep meaning you experience in all the seder traditions. You seem to be saying that while one might roll her eyes at these repetitive actions, they are truly comforting and inspiring.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 18 2014, 5:18 am
Exactly. In essence the Seder is trite - every year the same story retold, yet it's stimulating - each year u discover something new - a vort u haven't heard, a nugget that suddenly "speaks" to you...
Thanks for the feedback!!
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PinkFridge
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Fri, Apr 18 2014, 6:03 am
MaBelleVie wrote: | Given that it's your take, I can't really argue with the content
Technically, I dislike when non rhyming words are used as rhymes. But I'm picky like that.
I'm glad your Seder experience was so positive! |
Yes, I started looking for mixed feelings where there didn't seem to be any.
But that aside, I liked the energy, and was happy for you, when so many people don't have the kind of experience you did.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 18 2014, 6:16 am
Hmmm.. My take may have not been the right words. It was my first Seder at home, on our own. Kind of a big deal for us - I simply wanted to express my joy and gratitude. 'twas not all perfect but it was as imperfectly perfect one would imagine.
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