Appropriate supper for a shiva house?

debsey

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 6:32 pm

I've been asked to make supper for a family member sitting shiva. About five or six adults. They had chicken and schnitzel already (those were my first ideas!) and I think meatballs and spaghetti is too "kid friendly."
Not interested in patchke-ing (well, more like "not capable"), but would like to give a warm filling supper that will give them strength for the long night ahead. Shiva is exhausting!
I'm definitely going to give a soup. Probably a thick split pea or butternut squash. And definitely salad.
But I need a main and a side, at the minimum.
Any ideas?
Debs

smss

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 6:39 pm

what about a meat lasagna? I happen to think spaghetti and meatballs would be fine, btw.

basement

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 7:07 pm

I second the meat lasagna idea- real "comfort food!" And that's main and side in one. Or you could do meatballs and rice... Tizki l'mitzvos!

Sherri

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 7:47 pm

I think both ideas are great- the reason I wouldn't do meatballs and spaghetti is because eating spaghetti can be awkward.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 7:48 pm

Minute steaks and rice and broccoli or meatloaf and rice

agreer

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 8:13 pm

U could do dairy lasagna or baked ziti... Pizza....baked salmon, rice, salad... Baked BBQ chicken...
Really, anything

greenfire

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 8:14 pm

if you do meat sauce & rotini pasta you have the same idea without the messy drooling of rolling ballies & long spaghetti

it's hearty & filling & comforting

make sure to send cookies or cake - and maybe some nice flavour tea bags

sorry for the loss

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 8:24 pm

I have done this a lot, not only as a caterer but also as a friend, family member or concerned community member. I can't tell you what to make but I can share what I have learned over the years.

Many shivas have someone in charge of the scheduling for meals. Ask that person if there are any allergies, or strong likes or dislikes. No sense making stuff that an avel can't eat.

Consider whether you will be there to serve it. Or, Will the avelim be serving themselves?
What are the logistics? How are you getting the soup there? Do they mind you heating stuff up in their pot?

Do you need paper plates or other disposables?

How are you transporting your food?

What time do they want to eat?

Are they sefardi? Some sefardim don't eat meat while in shiva.

At my father in law's shiva the best meal we had was sushi. Bought by someone who truly wanted to please us and bring us comfort. At that point we had eaten so much chicken, cooked fish and tuna/egg we were ready for something different and it was a true source of comfort to have such a lovely, light and healthy meal. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying sushi is always appropriate. But it was in our case and it was because someone asked us what we wanted them to bring, or if we had any strong likes/dislikes etc.

Ultimately, having been on both the giving and receiving end, I know that even if you are eating your 9th meal of tuna and egg, or shnitzel or whatever, people very much appreciate the effort you took. Making food is a very good way to be menachem aveil in the truest sense and I know personally that I always make an extra effort while cooking shiva food to think good thoughts and daven for the niftar and the aveilim. It makes me feel good and it shows up in how the food turns out.

I think it is lovely you posted here and I hope you find something that isn't too difficult and fits your budget as well as their tastes. Here are some of the more interesting things I have sent: also, agreed that if the weather fits, soup is lovely. And things that smell good!

Also, shivas always seem full of desserts but no fruit so I make a point of sending fruit whether it be clementines or a fruit platter.

Tuna casserole
roasted chicken
Prime Rib and Turkey
Meat fajitas
Meat stews
cooked salmon
Jasmine or basmati rice (I do that with caramelized onions and grated carrot so it smells good, tastes good and looks good)
greek souffle (think cheese blintz souffle but with phyllo instead of blintz)
garlic bread
roasted potatoes (roast in spices,water, lemon juice and generous amount of olive oil so they don't dry out)
steamed green beans
roasted zuchini and eggplant
roasted peppers
ceasar salad
sweet salad (like mixed greens with dried fruit and fresh berries in a vinaigrette)
roasted carrots and root vegetables

debsey

Tue, Apr 29 2014, 8:52 pm

OP here.
Thanks, everyone. I don't know why this had me in such a mental block/tizzy. I like the minute steak and brocolli or meat rotini idea. Both comfort food, easily reheated, easily portioned out.
Thanks for the tips about bringing paper goods.
and, odd as this sounds, I didn't think about DESSERT. It's gonna be chocolate chip cookies because I have work to do and my daughter knows how to bake it!
Debs