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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts
Do you give baby boy gifts as often as baby girl gifts?



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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 8:12 am
You know what I mean...not because pple are having more boys Confused , because you go to a bris, but there's not necessarily something for the girl to go to.
When my daughter was born, we got very few things, and she was our first, but when my son was born, our second, we got much more.
It makes sense to more likely give when it's a boy, but is it fair?? (rhetorical question)
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 8:20 am
I'm davka under the impression that a girl is spoilt a lot more?
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catonmylap




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 8:36 am
If you only look at gifts, it might not be fair. But look at how much you spent on the bris and mohel.

The answer is to make a large simchat bat when you have a girl.

People obviously feel obligated if they go to a bris....so all you have to do is have a equally big celebration for the girl.

Your brother probably got more bar mitzvah gifts (by far) then you got bat mitzvah--was that fair?
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Emee




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 8:41 am
Personally I give to all my close friends when they have babies regardless of whether it is a boy or girl. If I am not cloe but going to the bris to say mazal tov etc. Then I won't bring a gift. (I don't mean if I am invied to the seudah)
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 9:12 am
The thing is that while most people will make something for a bar mitzva, if only the shul, many don't do anything but at best a big birthday for a bat mitzva...
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 9:55 am
I wouldn't consider it "fair" or "unfair" as you put it....I also don't really quite agree. I made a bris and a pidyon haben and did not get many gifts at either event. Almost all the gifts I received were from people who would have given us a baby gift if they hadn't come or if I had had a girl...It was mostly money from relatives who would have sent it no matter what...
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 11:08 am
we got just as many gifts for our boys as for our girls. the brissim were late both times and most people gave us gifts straight away. We had the kiddushim on shabbos, also when the baby was a few weeks old.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2008, 11:24 am
ah the way you posed your thread - I was about to say it's the opposite ...

yup my kids can tell you well ... bris - upsherin - bar mitzvah ...

with my first 2 kids I actually got a lot of baby gifts though - girl/boy ...

they start off sexist ... grrrrrrrrrrr Twisted Evil
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 05 2008, 1:50 am
catonmylap wrote:
Your brother probably got more bar mitzvah gifts (by far) then you got bat mitzvah--was that fair?


I used to resent that sooo much. I'm the oldest of four kids and I only have brothers. I didn't mind so much that they got more presents than me because my parents invited way more people to the bar mitzvah shabbosim and parties than to my bat mitzvah celebration. I was upset that certain relatives (especially my grandparents) gave my brothers more than they gave me. IMO we were each celebrating an important milestone which should have been acknowledged equally. It took me years to get over my resentment. Oh well, that's life.

To answer the OP's question, I try to give equally. However, often going to a bris reminds me to get a present or spurs me to get one sooner. I still owe presents to friends who had girls on Rosh Hashana and Succos.
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notme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 01 2014, 3:22 pm
I think it's because people go to the bris and eat so they pay for their plate.
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 01 2014, 3:49 pm
If its someone I'm very close to, I give whether or not there is a party/ brit. But if its not close family or friends, then I only bring something if I'm invited to a celebration. Since people tend to have more britot than simchat habat (not that many more in my circles) then the baby boys would get more gifts. Although in truth, in my circles most bring a cheque to a brit, and that goes to cover the plate, not to the baby.

So IME it goes by party, not by gender. I've made both bar and bat mitzvot, and haven't noticed the boys got any more than the girls.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 01 2014, 4:12 pm
catonmylap wrote:
If you only look at gifts, it might not be fair. But look at how much you spent on the bris and mohel.

The answer is to make a large simchat bat when you have a girl.

People obviously feel obligated if they go to a bris....so all you have to do is have a equally big celebration for the girl.

Your brother probably got more bar mitzvah gifts (by far) then you got bat mitzvah--was that fair?


no.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 01 2014, 4:15 pm
I think the older kids in a family get more gifts...I found a box of cards given to my parents when they had babies. But the time it came to me, after 4 pr 5 older siblings, there were no cards at all!

baby gifts are to help the parents, not the baby. My babies get clothes if they are given as gifts or not.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 01 2014, 4:24 pm
I think baby boys do get more gifts. We make big vocht nachts so many people come with gifts then. I happen to have gotten a lot of gifts when my girls were born because I just had a lot people I was good with then. It also has to do with what number child it is and how old the one born before is.
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 01 2014, 6:07 pm
Not sure if my answer is what the OP is looking for, but to be honest I am much quicker to buy baby girl gifts than baby boy gifts. Look at my screen name, then you will see why I find it so exciting to buy gifts for baby girls! ( I do really love my boys though, just girlie clothes are so much more exciting!)
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