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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Crying after store experience
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 07 2014, 1:14 pm
We have those issues too. I used to say get dressed. Now I say exactly down the detail what needs to get put on. Sometimes I set a timer and say we need to get dressed when the timer goes off. He knows we dont eat breakfast until we are completely dressed so that can act as a motivator too.

I find that if I am more organized the whole morning goes smoothly. If I know where clean tztitzits and yamulkas are and his backpack is ready I dont want to cry when I get to work.

Growing up, I was your child and mine shows a strong propensity for the same ADHD/ADD behaviors. I have grown up alot and I function pretty well but I still struggle and am always looking to work on myself.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 07 2014, 1:57 pm
My morning routine with dd 6yo: change your underwear then come to me. Ok, now go put on your dress then come to me. ok, now socks and then come to me. sneakers. sweater. briefcase. step by step and then she comes to me in between and I give her the next thing to do. As annoying as it is, at least it gets done and I don't have to do it so it frees me up.
Cleaning: how old are you? 6? ok. pick up 6 things. then 5. then 4. etc. or pick up dolls. then pick up red legos. then green. then pick up 4 papers. etc.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 07 2014, 2:46 pm
amother wrote:
No. Cleaning up was a bad example. I'm talking about trying to get out the door in the morning: put on shoes, get your water bottle, put your lunch in your bag


5 is still very young and you know she has challenges. I think "put on shoes" is enough for her. You can get the water bottle and put the lunch in the bag for now. These things may get a bit easier as she grows, and making an issue out of it now certainly won't help. It's beyond her just now.


ETA: You know, many 5-yr-olds *without* ADHD have difficulty completing a series of 3 instructions without getting distracted on the way. Try giving her one instruction at a time. You can also make a game out of it: put on your shoes and tag my hand; then I'll give you your next assignment. Give her a stopwatch and have her time herself each day, then see if she can beat her own time. Get creative.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 07 2014, 4:32 pm
For routine tasks, a step by step list with pictures is very helpful.
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 07 2014, 8:39 pm
5*Mom wrote:
5 is still very young and you know she has challenges. I think "put on shoes" is enough for her. You can get the water bottle and put the lunch in the bag for now. These things may get a bit easier as she grows, and making an issue out of it now certainly won't help. It's beyond her just now.


ETA: You know, many 5-yr-olds *without* ADHD have difficulty completing a series of 3 instructions without getting distracted on the way. Try giving her one instruction at a time. You can also make a game out of it: put on your shoes and tag my hand; then I'll give you your next assignment. Give her a stopwatch and have her time herself each day, then see if she can beat her own time. Get creative.


I don't give 3 step instructions. This is just where she gets distracted every day. She's good about getting dressed, usually because she wants to make a surprise and we pretend to be shocked when she gets dressed by herself. Once the other kids are awake, she gets distracted and I have to remind so many times what she needs to do. Even incentives like "if you put on shoes right now, I'll do your hair first" have stopped working. She was never motivated enough to appreciate the prize chart we tried We had to make everyone responsible for their own water and lunch because otherwise we get "not fair complaints about how come SHE doesn't have to do it
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