Wearing "ethnic" clothing while being a guest

zaq

Wed, May 14 2014, 8:36 pm

KY? Why didn't you say so? Surely you realize that reactions may be very different in an ultra-chared, ultra conformist community and a more open, liberal-minded one? Believe you me, if I were going to spend Shabbat in KY (hard to imagine how that might happen short of getting stuck in a blizzard or the traffic jam of the millennium on Friday afternoon, in which case I'd be wearing whatever I had with me, like it or not), I'd be doing my utmost to blend in. This would be an exercise in futility, since any KYer would be able to tell at a glance that I'm an outsider, but there's the outsider wearing a blouse that's just a little too white or a little too blue, and then there's the outsider who stands out like a visitor from another planet.

mummiedearest

Wed, May 14 2014, 8:42 pm

amother wrote:

OP here. What a nice picture Ruchel! I'm going to try to answer all of you at once. By traditional Sephardic clothing, I meant more precisely what Moroccan women would wear at home nowadays on Shabbos. There is nothing specifically Jewish about it, like the black skirt is not a specific Jewish dress, but it is worn by Jewish women. Nowadays, only elderly women would wear such clothing but I think it is nice to keep traditions. It is hard to describe what it is exactly as there are different styles, like you would have a hard time to describe what frum women wear in Boro Park. But basically, it is long robes, often very colorful (most of the time a solid color) with specific embroidery designs, usually around the neck in at the hems. The designs can take the whole front of the robe. More traditional clothing (and much more elaborate) is worn for chasunas. Here is a classic design example http://www.yumuseum.org/index......um=5.
In don't think an embroidered pink robe is a costume. What is a costume anyway? Anything can be considered a costume. If you would spend Shabbos in Morocco with a shtreimel, people will definitely think it's a "costume".
People know me and know my background, so they wouldn't be surprised. But like another poster mentioned, I'm talking about going to places like Kiryas Yoel where everybody dresses the same and considers other styles as not tzniusdig. Maybe the hosts wouldn't mind, but maybe their other guests would, etc. So I think what I could do is show the hostess the particular garment before I wear it, and bring something else in case Smile

I would perfectly understand.
In general, I just wanted to know how you would react having a guest dressed really differently at your table, with every body part covered, of course.
Thank you for your replies!

op, your link did not work. are you describing something like a caftan? I'd love to know what it is that you wear. I wouldn't wear a caftan to Kiryas Yoel, but anywhere else, go for it.

DrMom

Thu, May 15 2014, 1:51 am

When I spend a few months in India, I didn't make a point to dress in a sari or salwar kameez when I visited someone (although I did buy a few items of Indian clothing). Usually, I just wore my regular western clothing. I would have felt like a poser or like I was wearing a costume if I dressed up in Indian garb.

And I certainly wouldn't wear Indian garb to visit someone in an Indian neighborhood in the US -- that would be really bizarre.

Conversely, I wouldn't expect people to dress like me when they come to visit. I wear scarves and sometimes short sleeves, but I would not expect my sheitel-wearing, elbow-covering friends to roll up their sleeves and change their headcovering on my account. Come as you are.

greenfire

Thu, May 15 2014, 11:41 am

zaq wrote:

KY? Why didn't you say so? Surely you realize that reactions may be very different in an ultra-chared, ultra conformist community and a more open, liberal-minded one?

I don't think people should share their KY jelly - no matter how open-minded they are ...

zaq wrote:

Believe you me, if I were going to spend Shabbat in KY (hard to imagine how that might happen short of getting stuck in a blizzard or the traffic jam of the millennium on Friday afternoon, in which case I'd be wearing whatever I had with me, like it or not), I'd be doing my utmost to blend in. This would be an exercise in futility, since any KYer would be able to tell at a glance that I'm an outsider, but there's the outsider wearing a blouse that's just a little too white or a little too blue, and then there's the outsider who stands out like a visitor from another planet.

it's been a long hard winter ... but why on earth would you care if you look like an alien - chances are you'd look like an alien in their getup as well ...

amother

Thu, May 15 2014, 12:32 pm

OP here. I must admit I don't like some of the recent comments. This thread was never intended to be a platform to bash heimishe people! Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I just wanted to know how YOU would feel if someone came to your house dressed differently. I am very open minded, so I don't care how people dress. That said, I do appreciate if they don't come to my home completely naked. But wear whatever feels right on you. I really enjoy spending time with heimishe people and I have very good friends. Precisely because I have high esteem for those people, I don't want to offend them in any way. I am not talking about sticking out. This is something I manage to do all the time...
When I go out, I dress with a black skirt + shell + whatever on top. On Shabbos, I like to wear more traditional Moroccan clothing at home. I am not talking about those very fancy caftans that are worn at chasunas by Jews and Muslims (just type "Moroccan caftan" in Google images and you'll have an idea of what some people wear nowadays). I am talking about a color version of a "unique Shabbos robe" as someone put it.

centurion

Fri, May 16 2014, 3:30 pm

amother wrote:

I think the words kiryas yoel made this thread turn slightly ugly, I don't know why but it seems to be a loaded topic. I don't live in kiryas yoel and am not affiliated with satmar so I can't make a blanket statement about the necessity to conform like others mentioned, warranted or not. I only know a few indivuals there, but from the few that I know, most are very open-minded and aware that different cultures come with different dress codes and would certainly welcome you into their homes no matter what you're wearing. and if anyone asks, just say it's your "punjelo." (which roughly means robe in hungarian yiddish but usually refers to loose fitting caftan style robes.)

amother

Fri, May 16 2014, 3:55 pm

centurion wrote:

I only know a few indivuals there, but from the few that I know, most are very open-minded and aware that different cultures come with different dress codes and would certainly welcome you into their homes no matter what you're wearing. and if anyone asks, just say it's your "punjelo." (which roughly means robe in hungarian yiddish but usually refers to loose fitting caftan style robes.)

Exactly! If they were very narrow-minded, which is not an exclusivity of some Satmar individuals, they wouldn't be friends with me and invite me in the first place. My only concern was the color factor, like pink, bue, etc. No red, of course.