my dh got a tip | Imamother

rising hero

Tue, May 27 2014, 10:28 am

amother wrote:

This is nice to hear. Several times a year people from Dh's shul come around to collect for tzedaka for other members of the shul. We are in no shape to help out but dh is mortified from the people coming around (they do discuss who gave what among each other) so we give a small check of $20. Time after time they deposit it and it bounces. Luckily, our account is set up so that the bank sends them the money and we get charged $35 so they have no idea what happened and we end up paying $55 instead of our original donation.

Luckily? I don't see how lucky that is. Confused

Why don't you give twenty dollars in cash? Or is a check a 'status' thing? This doesn't make sense at all!!
(And, I think it's disgusting to discuss who gave what.)

amother

Tue, May 27 2014, 10:41 am

amother wrote:

I just had similar situation. I got married last year and when we were by my inlaws for Pesach they told us they found envelope for us while cleaning. It had a nice size check in it but what you gonna do...anyway, my fil decided to email the guy who sent it. I think that was in incredibly poor form and I'm totally mortified but the guy sent us another check and wrote in the note that we have six months to cash it.

My parents sent a nice-size check to a member of my husband's family as a wedding gift. My husband's relative called my parents to tell them that he lost the check... and if they could please send another one!!!!

abound

Tue, May 27 2014, 11:05 am

amother wrote:

I do not think I would call someone if they sent me a gift and something went wrong, but I do not get the big deal. Presumably if someone gave someone else a wedding gift they want to give the gift to the person. Why would they be rattled that the person called them and told them that the gift did not come through? I would be happy to know so that I can properly give them the gift. WHy should I think I gave someone a gift and I really did not. I want to give them this wedding gift.

b from nj

Tue, May 27 2014, 11:17 am

chatouli wrote:

I get it, OP. Check this story out.

We invited a friend of DH's to our wedding. He was single, knew a lot of people who would be there, and so of course we didn't invite him with a guest. He wrote on the RSVP card, "Joe Shmoe + 1." We called to clarify, did you get engaged/start seeing someone and we somehow didn't hear?? (impossible) he told DH, I want to bring a date, I know you're having mixed seating, don't worry I will make sure that I give you a nice gift to cover both of our plates. Well, already we were embarrassed, but fine.

Wedding comes. He didn't end up bringing a date. Of course we had already paid for a plate for her. Ok.

We opened the envelope the next day. It was a generous check. Along with all other gifts, we deposited it. It bounced ($25 fee for us). We didn't say anything to him, not wanting to embarrass him. Them he asked, about two weeks later, if we had cashed it. My DH told him very gently what had happened, since he asked. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Here I must've written it from the wrong checkbook. Let me send you another one." We told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted.

Two months later he sent another check. Want to guess what happened? Smile

I kind of wished we could send him a bill for the extra plate and two bounced check fees. Sigh. Can't make this stuff up.

Chatouli, that is one friend of my DHs I would NEVER want to set up...Simply bad manners.

lifeisgreat

Tue, May 27 2014, 11:19 am

#1 Mom wrote:

My dh is a rebbe in a yeshiva and he got a very nice chanukah tip from one of the parents, he knows that they are not very well off financially. He went to the bank to cash it and it would not go through. He went several time each time it got denied . Wwyd? Leave it?

I would not cash it again

greenfire

Wed, May 28 2014, 11:53 am

when a check bounces everybody is charged bank fees, etc. ... you should clear this up right away

I suggest you go to the signator of said check & let him know of the inability to cash the check - regardless of why he gave it to you ... I'm sure if his intention was to tip you - he probably doesn't know ... not everybody can keep their checkbook balanced [unsure why but maybe I'll make a spinoff]