You do the math - or don't

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Sun, May 25 2014, 6:43 pm

This is really 'stam' funny. Recently, I was at a wedding and the woman next to me is my son's neighbor. My son is over 30 and has a ten year old daughter.

So, as we're shmuzing, it emerges that I have a few married kids.

"Wow, you look so young, I would never have thought so."

Hullo? But you know my son and DIL, and my grandchildren. Let's say I had my son at 18, and he got married at 18 (we are not Chassidish, but let's just say...) so I would have to be at least 46. But of course, if we were both at least 20, I would have to be at least 50.

And it's normal in my community to have a fairly large family, without very big spaces, so BH, at 30+, he has several married siblings.

It's just striking me as funny. What would make me look older? Having more married children, having more grandchildren or just being older?

granolamom

Sun, May 25 2014, 6:52 pm

its just something people say. dont think too much into it, I doubt your friend did.

zaq

Sun, May 25 2014, 8:28 pm

Oh, please. All she's saying is you look younger than she expected you to. Say "thank you" and move on.

chani8

Sun, May 25 2014, 11:06 pm

Why the age comments at all.

"You don't look that old!" - gee thanks. To you, my age is old. To someone else, my age is young.

And what's my age supposed to look like???!

FranticFrummie

Mon, May 26 2014, 12:52 am

Get some streaks of gray woven into your sheitel, and forget to put on makeup. That should fix it!

rachel91

Mon, May 26 2014, 1:30 am

She just wanted to give you a compliment...

Some people look older than their years, some look younger. Some have it in their genes, some use make up and 'younger' clothes.
And it doesn't have anything to do with how many married children or grandchildren one has.

amother

Mon, May 26 2014, 3:05 am

I'm not op but this type of thing is the reason I don't do well with party chatter. For some reason being at a party encourages people to talk for the sake of talking. To be dlkz I try to remember that the person is just trying to be friendly and it beats sitting next to someone whose more interested in their chicken.

PinkFridge

Mon, May 26 2014, 12:00 pm

A few weeks ago Rabbi Reisman floated as a real possibility Calev's being Betzalel's great grandfather (IIRC) which would mean that each generation was 8 years.

shanie5

Wed, May 28 2014, 6:32 pm

Actually, if you do the math, you gotta be older than 46. If married at 18, first kid at 19.......that makes you at least 48. Or 47 1/2 minimum. Unless babies were premie, then you could be 47............................ Wink

Ruchel

Thu, May 29 2014, 3:48 am

To someone not tznius, a young girl in conservative "non jeans tee shirt sneakers" look can look 10 years older.

To someone very charedi, someone dressed tznius "funky" can look much yunger.

Wig and hiding knees, elbows, cleavage, belly... makes you look def younger when you age.

Don't mind it.

amother

Thu, May 29 2014, 5:14 pm

I haven't been in school in a while but wouldn't you having a child at 18 and him marrying at 18 make you 36?

shanie5

Thu, May 29 2014, 5:16 pm

amother wrote:

I haven't been in school in a while but wouldn't you having a child at 18 and him marrying at 18 make you 36?

Add 10 years for the 10 year old grandchild.

amother

Thu, May 29 2014, 5:18 pm

shanie5 wrote:

Add 10 years for the 10 year old grandchild.

See now I'm glad I posted under amother. Smile

groovy1224

Thu, May 29 2014, 5:19 pm

amother wrote:

I haven't been in school in a while but wouldn't you having a child at 18 and him marrying at 18 make you 36?

Yes, but then the OP said he has a 10 year old dd. So she'd have to be at least 36 + 10.

shanie5

Thu, May 29 2014, 5:33 pm

amother wrote:

See now I'm glad I posted under amother. Smile

I was able to answer as it took me a few minutes myself to do the math.........

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