Worried about hostess falsifying

amother

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 10:31 am

amother wrote:

This reminds me of my newly married sil. She brought me a cake which she said was homemade. It turns out was Duncan Hines. The funny part was she was giving the "recipe" in all seriousness. shock

I would also consider that homemade, the cake wasn't bought in the store, relax yourself! shock

invisiblecircus

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 10:38 am

Raisin wrote:

You know what? I've never felt the need to lie about my cooking or not cooking a certain item. Maybe people who feel less confident in their cooking skills do, but why? I don't feel the need to lie about my lack of ability at creating perfect iced cookies. I would think someone was strange for lying about whether an item was homemade or not. Just because people lie in sitcoms does not make it right. Obviously, in certain cases, like the mother who would have been upset, it is understandable. But just so you would appear to be a better cook then you are?

Please don't excuse dishonesty.

However, it likely does not indicate anything seriously wrong with this person. However, if you or a family member has allergies, I might not trust her about food.

Of course, it is possible she made these things herself.

I agree with you, I'd never even think about lying about my cooking and I would find it really odd if someone was blatantly doing that but I don't think I'd give it a great deal of thought or wonder if it was a sign of a deeper issue.

heidi

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 10:53 am

I worked as a caterer for many years. One motzai Shabbos a client called in a panic-- she had had guests for Shabbos and passed of all the things I had made (her whole Shabbos) as homemade. Except one guest was deathly allergic to certain ingredients and needed to know what was in them. . . suffice to say she covered well and B"H the guest didn't die. She called after Shabbos just to make sure . . .

Raisin

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 11:04 am

heidi wrote:

thats when this sort of lying can kill people. You can't call it a white lie.

Kitten

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 11:49 am

Raisin wrote:

thats when this sort of lying can kill people. You can't call it a white lie.

Then again, if there is a deadly allergy, it would have been wise that the guests mention it to their hosts. I personally always ask my guests if there are things they can't or don't want to eat before I cook.
It's really funny how this is a popular thread: a person assuming with no concrete proof that another person bought something from the store pretending it was homemade, and them thinking this person must me mentally ill just because of that? What a discussion! Surprised

OP, I really think you should forget about it.

Raisin

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:16 pm

Kitten wrote:

OP, I really think you should forget about it.

Its not a problem if I have guests with allergies if I have a) done the cooking and know what is in the food or b) bought the food elsewhere and I am happy to own up to that and say I do not actually know exactly what ingredients were used.

But if c) I bought the food elsewhere but I am pretending (for some insane reason) that I made it, what am I going to say when a guest comes up and asks if there are any nuts in the cake? Sorry, I am lying and I have no idea what the cake contains?

Read Heidis post. The host served her allergic guest food which she did not know for sure whether it contained allergens or not, pretending that she had made it and knew what was inside. (clearly, possibly killing her guest was a better a option then owning up to having bought the food) After serving this food for 2 or 3 meals she calls up the cook to make sure it is safe.

So glad I don't have allergies if this is how people behave!!!!

Barbara

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:26 pm

Raisin wrote:

Well, yeah, that was insane.

In any case, allergens should be made known to the hosts in advance. A friend once hosted someone who casually said, "Oh, did I remember to tell you that I'm allergic to garlic" a couple of hours before Shabbat. EVERY dish had garlic. Additionally, I cannot always remember everything I used. Did I use potato starch, corn starch or flour? Which brand of soy sauce? Which oil? Did I use the same spoon to stir the two dishes? Whereas if you tell me in advance, I'll be sure to avoid allergens.

amother

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:26 pm

amother wrote:

I would also consider that homemade, the cake wasn't bought in the store, relax yourself! shock

I guess you have to know my sil and how seriously she was gave me and another sil the written recipe. One egg, 1/3 cup oil and a box of Duncan Heines. It really was funny and she wasn't being sarcastic.

I will consider it homemade, but did we really need a written recipe?

Raisin

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:37 pm

Barbara wrote:

I always make sure to use seperate spoons. But in that case, if a guest does not tell me till the last minute about allergies or weird diets, honestly it is their fault if they have nothing to eat. It is MY wrong if I lie about the contents of a dish and feed it to them and they have an allergic reaction.

Kitten

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:38 pm

Raisin wrote:

Well it is a problem for me. I want my guests to enjoy the food I prepare. I would be very sad and sorry if a guest tells me at the table he or she is allergic to gluten, for example. I want to make sure in advance everything will be ok and that my guests will be happy. The same with accommodation. I always warn people about what to expect when they visit us, and it also goes for kashrus standards. For this, it is more like reassuring people... Then people who wouldn't know us so well wouldn't have the embarrassment of asking about our kashrus standards. I am this type of person who would sometimes be reluctant to eat at other people's places for this reason but would also be uneasy asking something that sounds like: Hey, do you really keap kosher? Because I my book this is treif. I am exaggerating a bit, but you see what I mean. This type of thing can easily sound insulting for some people as there are different standards and minhogim.
I enjoy the company of different kinds of people, so this is something relevant for me.

Raisin

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:42 pm

yeah its annoying when guest don't tell you they are allergic or a vegetarian or raw food eater or whatever in advance. I've had that many times. Mostly there are a few things they can eat since I serve a bunch of different dishes on shabbos.

But annoying is different then life threatening. Because someone failed to inform you in advance about an allergy does not give you the right to serve them possibly dangerous food and not inform them that you do not know what it contains.

zaq

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:46 pm

ValleyMom wrote:

My little sis served her chossen tabachnik soup in a bag but she thought she was SOOOO brilliant--

She took the extra 20 second to OPEN the bag and dump the frozen brick in a small pot to reheat, she tried to present it as homemade...

Unfortunately he discovered the filthy plastic bag at the top of the trash.

Thank god he has a sense of humor!!!

They are happily married over 20 years and she actually has someone who "helps" with the cooking...

:-)

Clearly your little sis has zero talent for subterfuge. Burying the commercial packaging at the bottom of the bin under a pile of used tissues or orange peels would have been my first step.

Too bad your little sis didn't realize that all one needs to do to be able to say with veracity "I made this soup" is add a few ingredients to the commercial item. Throw in a few chopped veggies, some (preferably fresh but dried will do) herbs, a few bits of pasta, and there you have a "homemade" soup. The commercial product is just one of the ingredients. She's probably figured that out by now.

There's an entire cookbook called s/t like The Almost Homemade Cookbook, every recipe of which starts with some commercial product which is then doctored up.

zaq

Wed, Jun 18 2014, 4:53 pm

invisiblecircus wrote:

Just because you've never been tempted to lie about something doesn't mean it's odd for others to do so. For example, I have never felt the need to lie about my height or age but I know full well that many people do, especially when it comes to shidduchim. Are they odd? I rather think that I'm the odd one in this case.

chocolate chips

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 11:12 am

Was thinking about this thread last night.
Dh asked me to make some new cookies I tried....he said the ones that taste bought.
Literally, I made a cookie recipe and it tasted looked and felt like store bought ones. I wonder if the people who ate them thought I lied!