Israel: 3 kiddnapped boys How early did you bring in Shabbat

JewishMommyNYC

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 9:40 am

I was a guest in someone's home this week and she asked me to light memorial candles for the 3 boys before Shabbat, about 45 mins. She also asked me to bring in Shabbat 30 mins early. She said that her brother who's a rabbi in Bnei Brak said this should be done.

I told her I was under he impression that woman were bringing in Shabbat 15 mins early and we weren't lighting any additional candles.

Could someone tell me if I was wrong? What are your thoughts on what she did?

Thank you

abound

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 10:26 am

the memorial candles does not seem like a good idea or correct. It is something we do as a נר זכרון in memory of someone who went to the next world. We are hoping and assuming they are alive. Also not so simple from a Halachik standpoint to add extra candles. We tried to bring it in early and finished Shabbos prep and said Tehilim for sometime before Shabbos.

freidasima

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:52 pm

Why in the world does anyone think that making shabbos earlier is a zechus for anything? There is no mitzva that is to do more. The next stage is to say we keep three days yom kippur? What will help find these boys if they are still aive will be the army and intelligence sources. And if anyone is about to "take on" anything it should be that anyone in EY with a car should go to major and minor hitchiking areas to give boys lifts as we used to do with soldiers decades ago on Fridays those of us with cars...
And please dont tell me kabbalistic reasons and that Rabbis said as I have zilch belief in "rabbis" but tons of belief in torah and halocho pshuto and psuko.
It is just too reminiscent of other psychological movements to have all adherents do X Y Z to create group solidarity.
Better what our rov did and that was to have a good mussar shiur for a short while before shabbos for the men. But we women, as he knew, have enough on our hands and homes without any extra burdens put on US, as it is always on US, the women...

octopus

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:56 pm

freidasima wrote:

there is a mitzvah to add on extra to shabbos. I forgot the exact halachic term for it. I attended a halacha shiur once once about this. Perhaps one of the knowledgeable women on imamother can give us the name.Women "add" to shabbos every week by lighting 18 minutes before tzeis.

Sanguine

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 2:08 pm

I lit 3 extra candles 15 minutes early and then we had tehillim in shul before mincha

But I was thinking... There are so many Rabbis with so many "ideas" (and I do not run to my Rabbi everytime I hear something and there are so many things

For example - Friday morning my daughter comes in my room and say they found them and they're coming home!! So I quickly started to reach for the radio and she says - OH Rav whatever (some Tzadik but I don't remember who) said there's some pasuk that proves that they're OK and coming home. My daughter is 13 but she's the type of kid who would be perfect prey for a cult. Very Naive and trusting and excited about every thing she hears. But we keep hearing other "instructions". One night at exactly 8:30 PM my older daughter told me that mothers should light a candle. I did it (I'm afraid to be the one to not do it). But past tehillim, all these things that Rav so and so said... seem a little odd to me. To say Tehillim, every one agrees always. But where do all these other things come from?

freidasima

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 2:44 pm

Octopus there is nosuch mitzva. The custom of lighting eighteen minutes before shkia, not tzies, comes from the days before clocks just to make sure one isnt mechalel shabbos and the eighteen minutes is the time on averageit would take to walk to the techum shabbos, thats all. To be sure my kids use those eighteen minutes with impunityas they never make it on time and know halochicly it isnt shabbos. Sanguine is right, lots of rabbonim says lots of made up feelgood communitytherapy like things which may be mice solidarity but are halochic narishkeit. I light no extra candles nor do I add on anything I just daven even more and hope the ID F knows what it is doing.

Sanguine

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 2:52 pm

freidasima wrote:

I light no extra candles nor do I add on anything I just daven even more and hope the ID F knows what it is doing.

My kids said to light extra so I said OK so they set up 3 extra. I didn't even realize that it was 3 candles for 3 boys until I was lighting and started saying their names and suddenly I felt that each candle was for a boy. It gave me such a nice feeling to see one candle for each (Maybe that was the idea from the beginning but I didn't know that until I lit them and felt it)

Liebs

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 3:01 pm

I was under impression that the zchus is not just to light early. We all know it is a big eis ratzon from when we light candles until shkiah. So lighting early and davening is what we did. We hope during this eis ratzon of so many nashim tzidkaniyos davening together, that our tefilos should be answered speedily with three healthy boys coming home to join their families.

rosehill

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 3:05 pm

Our Rav actively DISCOURAGED lighting extra candles.
We bring Shabbat in early anyway in the summer, but he encouraged the men to come to shul 15 minutes before Mincha to say Tehillim and learn.
After candle lighting, the women (who could) got together and went through the entire Tehillim while the men were in shul.

m in Israel

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 3:53 pm

freidasima wrote:

Actually, there is a mitzvah call "tosefet Shabbos" which means to add some time to Shabbos rather than waiting till exactly shkiah to accept it. There are different opinions as to how much time, and if this is d'oraisah or d'rabanan or even a chiyuv at all. Here is an article outlining the Halachos invovled:

http://www.torahmitzion.org/en.....d=692

However I don't think that is really what is being discussed when people accepted Shabbos early as a zchus for the boys. I understood it as one of the earlier posters said, to take Shabbos a bit early and then spend that time immediately following lighting as a special ais ratzon to daven.

Personally we make early Shabbos so I can't Halachicly light any earlier than I already do. What we did was get everyone completely ready for Shabbos 5 minutes before my husband and the boys needed to leave (they leave before I bentch licht when we make early shabbos because I can't bentch until after Plag Hamincha) and we all sat together and said tehilim until they left for shul. I lit candles at the time I was allowed to as I usually do when making early Shabbos.

chocolate chips

Mon, Jun 23 2014, 11:35 am

I got a text telling me that the rabbanim are saying as a zechus of 3,000000 lighting 2 candles, they will be ok. So please light two candles.

I was like, um I light 4 already!! So no I did not light extra candles, those are for more children iyh or ner zichron (for yartzeit or y"k!).

I lit 5minutes earlier than the zman because that is when I was ready but I did daven for them and have them in mind.

All these segulos, a lot of them have no basis. It reminds me of a story with my mil last week. She was discussing getting 40 women together to take challah for someone for a shidduch. (The idea of 40 is a whole other thing anyway lol). She then said that her co-worker told her that they did hafrashat challah for someone and [then to quote my mil] "she is sefardi so she doesn't know all the proper minhagim so they only had 30 ladies"!!!!

*jaw-dropped-to-the-floor* I didn't even know where to start so I kept my mouth shut but seriously, when will all these things end?! The most important thing is to daven and pray they will come home safe...and if you want and you can, to take on something for yourself. NOt to preach!