Split aliyah (half of family goes, half stays back)

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Israel related Inquiries & Aliyah Questions

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freidasima

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:11 am

Why then, if they have no family or friends here in EY is it imperative for them to split and for the father to move with the boys? Schooling? Or is it only possible for the mother and the girls to stay with family abroad if it is ONLY the mother and the girls, thus saving them rent and other expenses? Any chance that the whole family could stay with family abroad? If not, it will still cost them money to pay for an apartment here in EY (instead of one abroad) so it isn't that great a savings.

amother

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 8:40 am

There are studies on how it's very risky to make aliyah with teenagers...

singleagain

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 1:26 pm

OP, I think you should sit down and have a heart to heart with your friend. Tell her about your fears, explain that while on one hand you think aliyah is an admirable goal, if you were in a situation that would keep you from seeing your DH and half your kids for so long you worry abt the relationships and resentment etc. Ask if she had plans/support or has heard of it working out for others.

zaq

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 7:18 pm

penguin wrote:

People did it when emigrating from Europe to US. But they were made of different stuff! And a lot of them didn't stay frum.

Somehow I don't think staying frum in Israel in the 21st Century is quite the challenge it was in late 19th-Century/early 20th-Century United States

When people fled Europe for the Goldeneh Medinah, they went piecemeal because they simply could not afford passage for a whole family at once. They often saved up to send one or two family members who would hopefully get a job and send money back home little by little to bring the others over. If they were in Czarist Russia, they might send the sons who were of age to be conscripted, as their need to get out of Russia was almost literally pikuach nefesh.

amother

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 8:29 pm

I know a family that did this. They did it with the plan of a year or two because the husband was about that far from early retirement and they wanted to get some of the kids there before they got too old. (I think the year or two made a difference regarding middle school for someone.) One of the older kids stayed in the US with the father for school.

It is fifteen years later. The husband is still working in America; the economy went bad and he had to keep working. The two of them travel back and forth, but still. A couple of the kids have gone back and forth, some while still in school and some for college. It has been strange for them.

I don't recommend it. If they absolutely must, they need a hard, immovable deadline at which they will all unite, for good, in one country or the other.

Another in case someone knows this family.

chocolate chips

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 9:02 pm

penguin wrote:

People did it when emigrating from Europe to US. But they were made of different stuff! And a lot of them didn't stay frum.

This.
My great grandfather came to the States to make money and set up a home for his family left behind in Poland. They were all killed in the war and he was the sole survivor. He remarried and had my grandmother and several other children.

But they were way tougher back then...that said today we have modern technology like skype, facetime and whatsapp.
Honestly I don't know if I would ever do it I am like a lost sheep without dh around.
I do know an older couple where one spouse moved to Israel and the other stayed behind for 6months and now does 2 weeks in Israel 2 weeks in c"l.

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