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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
So so upset by this comment. Wwyd?



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amother


 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:27 am
I had a friend over for ds (6yr old) today. I am 5 months pregnant and I saw the kid eying my stomach. All right, no big deal, ds knows and I know he told the friend about it.
Friend asks ds something about my stomach (I didn't hear what it was because he whispered it) and turns around and says to me "I want to punch your stomach so I can punch your baby!"
I am so so upset about it. I said right away "that is not the way you talk to me or anyone. Ever." And I left it.
Would you tell the mother about it? Or assume he didn't mean it as badly as is sounded?
Happens to be the friend is also related to me... Not sure if that makes it better or worse?!?
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:36 am
I think I would've asked him, "Why would you want to punch this baby?"
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:39 am
chani8 wrote:
I think I would've asked him, "Why would you want to punch this baby?"

This.
I wouldn't be upset, but I'd worry my child was friends with a wanna-be baby-puncher.
Maybe I'd mention something about it to his mother.
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Shopmiami49




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 4:00 am
Does he have a new baby in his home? Maybe he is jealous...
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 4:00 am
Would it make you feel better to know it's a rather common desire? My 6yo nephew also wanted to punch my sister's pregnant belly! Maybe it's the age?

Just let it go. It's definitely not personal...I wouldn't bother your friend little boys say seriously dumb things.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 6:30 am
Boys want to punch EVERYTHING. He probably just wondered what it would feel like. They're very sensory seeking and curious. I'm sure "the baby" was a very abstract concept to him, and he had no malice intended.

I would ask him why he would want to do that, and remind him that we don't hit people in our house.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 10:28 am
I would be very uncomfy and definitely mention to the mother.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:05 pm
I'd tell the mom, but I wouldn't be upset. To us, "punch" is negative but to a little boy? It's what you DO. You punch people in the shoulder to tell them you're just kidding, you fist bump to say hi to a friend, you maybe tussle a little. They're boys. If there's a new baby in the house, it could be jealousy, like a lot of the other posters said, but even jealousy is normal.
debs
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:13 pm
It doesn't sound aggressive. More like curious. How does it work that there is a person inside a person? If I punch the belly, will the baby inside feel it?

For little kids "punch" is often shorthand for any sort of horseplay or wrestling.

In short I would not be concerned. You could have sat down and explained pregnancy. It's a weird concept, he's just trying to make sense of it.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:13 pm
It depends how he said it, and what kind of kid he is in general. Was he smiling? or threatening? Does he actually punch people a lot, or is he generally a sweet kid?

If a kid who isn't usually violent said it in a silly way, I'd probably just shrug it off as a silly "kids have the weirdest thoughts" type thing. If it came accompanied with a creepy glare - I'd tell the mother and probably start inviting the kid over less.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:18 pm
I'd probably react with curiosity and ask "how come?" and see what he says. Could be a totally innocuous answer.....
debs
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:19 pm
Let the mother know in a gentle, but let go of your upset at this kid because clearly this kid has some anger, curiosity, or jealousy of his own that is playing out.
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forever21




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 06 2014, 3:42 pm
I dont think a 6 yr old fully understands the whole concept of a baby in the stomach and I would take his remark with a grain of salt. I think youre looking into it a little too much. as other amothers said, little boys just like to punch things and dont really diffrentiate between a friendly punch on the shoulder or a stomach which happens to have a baby inside.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 07 2014, 12:48 pm
My educated guess is the 'puncher' kind of wishes HIS mommy was having a baby--he may be feeling a tad envious and is responding by wanting to "punch you and the baby".

Naturally I am NOT a six year old boy and I am merely hypothesizing...
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allrgymama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 07 2014, 2:03 pm
I would certainly mention it to the mother.

Even if it was just horseplay, as others have said, it is not derech eretz at all to threaten a grown up with horseplay or to engage in it with a grown up (other than, I would say, a really close relative? Like a boy to his uncle, or father? But certainly not between the two genders and certainly not in this scenario.)

Your friend/relative may appreciate the opportunity to educate her child.
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 07 2014, 5:52 pm
at least he didnt actually punch you...
dh's cousin who was about 6-7 at the time threw a good one at my 7month pregnant belly when I was expecting my first. hurt for a day or two after. wild child who used to hit everything kinda kid- he tried throwing a second one, but dh caught his hand and gave him a god yelling.

b"h hes calmed down a bit the past couple years.
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