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Ok to tell a guest this?



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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:34 am
We have a guest this week and we want them to know they can be at home and take from the fridge as they wish. However, I would like to say each day leave xyz, I will need it to make dinner. I regularly tell this to dh, but he thinks for guests I should not, if they eat what I was planning to cook with, I should go out and buy more (not such a simple matter for various reasons) or make something else (doable but aggravating). So- is it ok or not?
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Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:40 am
I don't see why not. I think it makes sense. I feel like most guests don't help themselves without asking anyway, but if this person is the type to help themselves to whatever they want you definitely should mention it.
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Butterfly




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:53 am
How about putting those ingredients in a none see through plastic shopping (grocery) bag. Double tie it. Attatch a sticker lable with a hand written name on it; e.g."Shaindy's". Place it in the back of the bottom shelf of the refridge.

Your guest will most probably assume that this was prepared for someone in particular named Shaindy and will therefore search for something else.

Just make sure that the fridge is loaded with a variety of other foods to choose from.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:42 am
I think it's ok. I wouldn't be offended if someone told that to me. (But to be honest, my husband would probably agree with yours!)
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Dev80




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:47 am
Butterfly wrote:
How about putting those ingredients in a none see through plastic shopping (grocery) bag. Double tie it. Attatch a sticker lable with a hand written name on it; e.g."Shaindy's". Place it in the back of the bottom shelf of the refridge.

Your guest will most probably assume that this was prepared for someone in particular named Shaindy and will therefore search for something else.

Just make sure that the fridge is loaded with a variety of other foods to choose from.


I think doing something of this sort makes sense, or you can even label it 'ingredients for sunday night dinner' and I'm guessing a guest who's told themselves to take anything would probably skip over that. That way it's comfortable all around.
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Kitten




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 9:04 am
Dev80 wrote:
I think doing something of this sort makes sense, or you can even label it 'ingredients for sunday night dinner' and I'm guessing a guest who's told themselves to take anything would probably skip over that. That way it's comfortable all around.

Or just designate a part of a shelf in your fridge for your things and tell your guests it's for dinner, or whatever. That way they won't have to remember what they are not supposed to eat. Apart from that, it is perfectly ok. I was once a guest like that and they told me I could eat anything from the fridge but I was afraid I would take something they need for a meal.
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HonesttoGod




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 2:57 pm
Keep whatever you need in one of the drawers.
Tell the guest she can help herself to anything in the fridge except that draw you need for suppers.
I do that and it works fine and the guests are fine with it.
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 3:12 pm
Absolutely agree with you. I don't know what climate you live in, but I am so not going out in the heat to buy something for supper because someone used it up. If DH thinks it's not okay to restrict your guest, let him volunteer to go shopping again in time for you to make supper, or better yet, bring home ready-made supper.
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 3:52 pm
Is this a very chashuv guest that your dh feels this way? I could see if I had a big Rav or an elderly person staying in my home that it wouldn't feel respectful to give them rules. But if this guest is family or friend I think it's totally normal to tell them that you'll be leaving cooking ingredients in x location in your fridge and help yourself to anything else.
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rachel91




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 3:58 pm
Prepare as much food for them as they will need (put it on the table), so that they won't have to go through your fridge, and you'll be able to choose what to offer them.

Then ask them a few times throughout the day if they would like to eat something, and give them the food, if needed.

I wouldn't tell them, be my guest, feel at home, but please don't take xyz out of the fridge.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 4:47 pm
I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 5:50 pm
It's fine. Hachnossas orchim doesn't mean martyrdom, and a guest is not entitled to take all your food. If your guest is any sort of mensch, s/he would be horrified to have eaten the food you'd intended to serve your family for dinner.

However, Rachel91's tactic of laying out food for the guest is a better way to go about things. You can't do this with perishables, especially not in summer, but you could designate a shelf or drawer in the fridge for the guest perishables. Presentation is everything. It's much more pleasant to show a person the things s/he is free to take than to point out the things she may not. The net result is identical, but the impression is very different.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 5:53 pm
Of course you should tell the guest if you need a certain ingredient saved.

Your husband can go out and buy extras if it really bothers him.
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forever21




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:48 pm
Put it in the back of the fridge and put taller things in front of it. Smile
I doubt a guest will start going through the contents of your fridge and moving stuff around. Or you can just tell him or her not to take those specific ingredients.
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 11:49 pm
As a guest, I would MUCH rather you tell me than let me eat something you were going to use for a meal. If I found out you had to go out shopping because I ate something you needed, I would be mortified.
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 11:56 pm
Totally OK in my opinion, but if you want to avoid telling the guest maybe labeling like they said above is a good idea.
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Motherlee




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 09 2014, 6:07 am
Of course it's ok to tell this to a guest. As a mom and wife, you need ingredients to cook.

I don't think its offensive at all.

It might actually offend the guest if he notices you are hiding food so that he won't eat it.

Honesty is the best formula for this kind of situation.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jul 09 2014, 8:06 am
Op here. I ended up putting the stuff on one shelf and saying, just be aware that shelf is our dinner tonight (guest is eating with us most dinners for the duration of their stay). Dh felt better about that than my saying dont eat the x and the y and the z.
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