worn out... | Imamother

amother

Sun, Jul 06 2014, 10:25 pm

I am a mother of 6 children from 12 to 3 years old.. married almost 14 years. I chosed to be a home mother to raise my children and be there for them.. but I think I over did it... I was too much for them and serving everyone the whole time.. every day make sure everyone have breakfast lunch and supper homework showers making sure they do daven ,brochos b4 and after eating.. etc.. my husband is working all day so I am the one mostly with them.. I have my 2 middle kids always fighting boy 8 (my kids are good in school.) and girl 6 .. I think they have some ADD symptoms..
My 8 years old is very chutzpadik with me , calling me names and saying bad words..
I have been telling him a few times that it is not nice to say bad words and he still do...
I found that to mechanech kids is so hard!! Sometimes I think that if I would have known b4 getting married... I would have think twice b4 doing such a thing!! Today I felt myself thinking about hashem and telling him that this job of akeret habayis he gave me is to hard for me and I cannot handle it anymore....
It look like a mother always have to be ready for someone else and be mevater on herself...
Any way just wanted to share my feelings and know if anybody feels that way or every body enjoy raising children and in peace... thanks for being there everyone!!

Bitachon101

Sun, Jul 06 2014, 10:46 pm

Hugs!!!!

You sound like you need a break! Is there anyway you can get away with your husband for a week and get someone to watch your kids while you re-energize?

I don't know what its like to be in ur situation but I'm a working mom with 2 toddlers and just being a caring mommy all day to them on Shabbos and Sunday makes me so worn out! I can imagine that 7 days a wk with 6 kids, 2 of whom pose an extra challenge, that its super exhausting. Can the 12 year old step in to help at all? Do your bickering kids have friends they can go out and play with to give you a break? Do you live in a place where chessed girls can help?

Hope things start working out. Your kids are very lucky that they have an awesome mommy that devotes her whole day for them!

flowerpower

Mon, Jul 07 2014, 1:21 pm

Raising kids are hard. The older they get- the harder it can be emotionally. Give yourself a break. Don't be so involved in their life every second- if my kids fight I walk out of the room. I let them see that I don't give a hoot. Teach them to be a bit independant so they can do things for themselves. One day you will look at your naches and thank hashem for all your beautiful gifts!

amother

Mon, Jul 07 2014, 1:46 pm

I don't have advice- just wanted to join in and say that I'm also worn out. I b"H have a 3 month old, and then a 2 and 4 year old. The older 2 are in preschool in the am, and then I have everyone for the rest of the day. I love them all, but they are exhausting and frustrating. My 4 yo is super-whiny and needy, and the 2yo is wiful, and also beats her up. They fight continuously, especially when I am nursing, or trying to put the baby to bed. Most of the time, they end up waking the baby up, and then I end up having to deal with overtired baby all pm as well. I feel so torn, feel like on a good day, the baby sleeps in the pm, I get laundry, lunches, dishes and supper done, and maybe a few good moments with the older 2- and then spend the entire evening trying to get baby down. On a less good day, baby is up the whole pm, I am trying to put him down, oscillating between growling at the older 2 for disturbing and/or fighting, getting nothing done, and ending up frustrated, depleted and exhausted. I don't even get the kids out the house. I feel like such a bad mom, and I haven't even gone back to work yet. I feel like it's unfair to my kids that I had them so close together, if I can't give them the attention they deserve. How do people with big fans do it? Do they manage the kids much better than me (I realise I only have 3 kids, but they are relatively close together), or do they expect less of themselves?
I didn't mean to hijack this thread-nI just happened to be feeling so WORN OUT and demoralised, and then I logged on and found a thread that reflected what I was feeling. hang in there, op. being worn out is tough, even if it is b"H for a very blessing-filled reason.

junam

Mon, Jul 14 2014, 7:23 pm

I could've written your post op! I chose to be a sham and have 5 kids 2 till 12. Everyone says I'm too good to the kids and do so much for them, but I don't know another way. I live with constant guilt that I'm doing it all wrong, especially because of the sibling rivalry here. And by the end of the day, I have had ENOUGH!

Queen6

Mon, Jul 14 2014, 8:01 pm

Being a mommy is hard. No matter how old your kids are, weather you work or not.... It's hard. It's a lot harder than we thought. We assumed we had it all down oat and knew what we would be Smile

One of the hardest parts is that everyone else does it and looks perfectly fine! It feels like were the only ones struggling Sad

Step 1 is to acknowledge that it isn't easy and perfect. Sometimes we can try our best and still not get the best result. It's hard.
Step 2 maybe gets job. It might be a good idea not to be SO on top of use situation and just take a step back.
You're doing a great job either way - good luck,