Never received a Baby gift from my MIL

zaq

Mon, Jul 14 2014, 9:45 pm

amother wrote:

huh? That's so bizarre. It's usually the other way no? My mil gives me little to nothing but spoils her own daughters

Usually, yes. But maybe this mil is thinking she has to buy her dils' love but her dds wil love her anyway. She's not quite wise enough to realize that showing favoritism to her dils isn't going to do her relationship with her dds any good.

Or maybe she just gets along better with her dils than her dds. It happens.

amother

Mon, Jul 14 2014, 9:48 pm

zaq wrote:

if only my mil would try to buy my love!! LOL

amother

Tue, Jul 15 2014, 4:52 pm

My MIL doesn't buy me gifts for each child, but why should that be expected? I know she's happy about the baby, but B"H she has many grandchildren and would rather give a gift to the CHILD when the CHILD will appreciate it - she expresses her excitement to me in WORDS.

When the kids get older and we come visit, that's when she takes them on trips, makes projects with them, and takes them shopping for clothes or toys.

I agree this is about expectations. If it bothers you, find a way to let DMIL know that you feel that the only way to express excitement about a baby is to purchase a gift. You can be offended if she doesn't do it THEN, but how are you so sure that she knows that a gift is expected?

granolamom

Tue, Jul 15 2014, 7:07 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, ok op here . This is not my first child and I don't expect much , hardly got anything for the first one either but like someone said, yes when I have my own grand kid iyh " I will want to buy something, even if its just a small onesie or something. Im always giving her gifts for yom tov etc.... It would just be common decency of her to give me something. Acknowledge your grandchild , or if u dont want to do that, then come visit or invite us to your house. I just feel like she has no interest at all and dosent even care, by giving a small gift she would show something,.......

I was assuming this was your first baby. now that I see it isnt, I will share, my mil bought us a stroller and layette for our first baby. I dont remember if she got anything for the second, but I do know that she didnt buy anything for the younger ones. I really did appreciate the stroller and layette, but didnt care about the lack of gifts for the others because it was so obvious to me that she WAS excited about the baby.
some people are just not gift givers in that way.

is this really about the gift? or are you hurt because she is not showing interest across the board?

if its about the gift, then yeah, it smacks of entitlement, but reading your post here, it sounds like the subject line could read : hurt because MIL not interested in my new baby and I'll bet that every single woman here would understand the hurt feelings.
I never got into the whole love language thing, but from what I've read here, some people show/feel love through tangible gifts, others do not. so it might just be miscommunication, that you attach love and acceptance to gifts and others might not. which might be why some might be quick to label you as demanding or entitled or whatever, but I suspect its not about the present. see if you can find your MIL's way of showing love and try to accept what she is giving in her way.