Working full time with young kids - some questions

amother

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 4:50 am

How do you work full time and still see your children? (especially if they are on the younger side)
If you work full time, do you make a lot more than child care costs (babysitters etc)

How do you all do it? I want to look for a full time position but I dont want to leave my children all day and have them come home to a babysitter.
Do I just bite the bullet and do it anyway? Even if it will make me feel like a terrible parent?

justforfun87

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 5:21 am

When I worked 5 days a week, I started work at 7 and finished by 3:30. My husband was in school full time so would drop off baby later in morning around 9am. I paid tons for daycare, but I also made around 30 an hour so there was take home money.

amother

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 5:27 am

justforfun87 wrote:

30 what? pounds? shekels? dollars?
And for me, I would not be able to share the pick up and drop off of children with DH. He leaves the house by 6 am and gets back after 7 pm, so I would have to do that, unless a babysitter picked up and / or dropped off. But it feels terrible Sad

amother

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 9:15 am

I work full time. My kids do come home to a babysitter. I put them to sleep at 8 so I get a couple of hours with them at night and an hour in the morning. My kids are in school and playgroups that are walking distance and my babysitter walks them to and from school. I may have to pay for busing as they get older and go to different schools. If you have to pick up and drop off how would you be able to work full time. Unless full time for you means 9-3 and you have no travel.
Working full time definitely comes with extra costs and you do have to figure out if it's worth it. I make about $90,000 a year so working is definitely worthwhile financially for me even though I pay my babysitter a small fortune.
I hope to one day be able to go part time but right now I need to work full time.
I do want to warn you that I've worked with other mothers before who were not committed to their job and it was obvious that weren't interested in working full time and people at work picked up on that. I know most mothers do not want to be away from their children a whole day but if you take a professional job you need to be professional and do a good job pretending that this is where you want to be spending your day. If not you don't get a good reputation and it can be hard to find another job after that.

amother

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 9:55 am

I do it ... I have an excellent babysitter and I live next to my extended family. I make a lot of money, that covers childcare and yeshiva tuitions B"H. It's very important for my shalom bayis, and in my particular situation it is working out so far.

chocolate chips

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 11:28 am

I work full time so that I cover school and childcare costs whilst having some leftover for other bills. Part time wouldn't cover it.

So while most of my paycheck does go to childcare I am left with around $3-4 per hour that can go to other necessities.

As for seeing my children, you bet it is hard! I try wake my son up right when I get up so that I can chat with him whilst I get dressed. But the mornings are rushed so sometimes I let him sleep so I can get as much done as possible then have time for him.
I also moved bedtimes slightly later (From 7 to 730/8) and I like to lie with him in bed and/or read him a story before he falls asleep.
As for the baby, I nurse him when I am home so I have that and at night before I go to sleep I wake him up to feed and play. It doesn't bother me anymore if he is chatting at 1am as long as he is happy because I got my me-time with him.

I actually wrote in another thread that since I value my time with my kids so much more it makes me love them more because in the few hours I get to see them I am 100% there for them. No phone, no calls, no interrupting. Just me, dh and them.
And Sundays and weekends I see them all day. We go to the park, walks, play games etc.

saralem

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 1:46 pm

I did it for many years, and it is very hard. But it can be done. My best advise is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and don't think too much. By that I mean, don't dwell on how hard it is, or how sad you might be to not be a SAHM. Just know that you are doing your best, and keep on trying, even when you feel like you can't. Because you CAN!
I didn't have a choice financially, and I didn't make a lot of money, either. But it was necessary. I struggled so much over those early years. Now my children (mostly) are grown, and I don't see that it was a negative experience for them. Actually, I think they look at women as being strong and capable, which we are! (Not that being SAHM is anything other than strong and capable too!)

amother

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 1:53 pm

I find it very difficult to juggle everything. I work almost full-time hours (30 hours a week). My salary covers medical insurance for my whole family and childcare and very little else. My kids wake up very early so I get a few hours with them in the mornings, as well as a couple hours before bedtime in the evenings. But I don't feel like I get to see them much. I really enjoy my job and don't think I could be a SAHM though, so it's worth it to me. But I let things like cooking elaborate dinners and having a super clean house slide.

amother

Tue, Jul 01 2014, 1:53 pm

I'm the main breadwinner so I don't have any other options other than working full time with young children. My DH learned full time and no families we can ask (only eldery relatives) so for us it was very important to have a good babysitter. We were very fortunate to find someone reliable, very caring, interested in chinuch and available from 7am till 6pm. Personally it's harder once children start school because it's easier to find good full time babysitter than someone to come an hour or so in the morning and another 3-4 hours in the afternoon because the hours don't add up for them to make parnassa.

shira143

Tue, Jul 15 2014, 8:40 pm

I work a flexible 9-5. On my end I think of it as my children will have more fun with their friends at daycare than with me. I take them out to events after school when I can. And from Friday evening to Monday morning they are with me the entire time.
Maybe you could get off earlier some days, maybe tuesdays and thursdays at 3pm instead of 5pm. That's if you could spare a few hours.