Bathing together | Imamother

Mother 4

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 9:05 am

My 6yr old daughter has a friend staying over for the week. Is it ok/tznios for 2 6yr olds to bathe together?! Would you let?

Chayalle

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 9:10 am

With bathing suits on.

seeker

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 10:11 am

I would not. At 6 they can accept that bathing is a private activity.

amother

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 10:19 am

Different amother here.
How about a 9 year old sister with her 5 year old brother if they're both wearing underwear and parent is coming in and out of the room?
My 5 year old bathes much more cooperatively if he has company.

Chayalle

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 11:32 am

But your 9 year old daughter deserves privacy at this stage.

mummiedearest

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 11:34 am

no and no.

if the five yr old needs company, have your 9 yr old take off her socks and put her feet on the tub. she can sit on the edge. she should not be in her underwear around her little brother.

flowerpower

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 11:42 am

I dont go for the whole bathing suit underwear stuff. How can they wash themselves well that way?

amother

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 11:43 am

What are your cut-off ages, both for siblings bathing together with same-gender siblings, and for children bathing with different-gender siblings?

Barbara

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 11:51 am

Good heavens, no.

A 9 year old is a tween, heading fast into puberty. It would not be unusual for her to begin developing breast buds and pubic hair. She is entitled to privacy; its not her job to make things easier with her younger brother.

Also, what's this with bathing in underwear. It sounds like a sub-plot from Arrested Development.

Peanut2

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 11:52 am

I think it's totally fine, though if you are not sure you can ask the other mother if she is okay with it. If the girls don't want to they will let you know.

I would NEVER bathe children together with bathing suits on or with underwear on?!!? What is going on here? It's either okay or it isn't. If the children shouldn't see each others naked bodies or genitals then they shouldn't bathe together at all.

Don't pique their curiosity by covering up the most interesting bits. AFAIk there is no halachic issue here. Just secular prudishness.

EDA - didn't see the 9 yo part. I bathed at 9 yo with friends. We were in Israel and it was still acceptable where I was, but it started becoming uncomfortable because we were developing. I had the beginning of breasts. But I did not shower with my brother at that age. So I still think it depends on what the child wants. Once a kid wants to shower alone that must be respected. If they are okay with bathing together it can be okay. Whatever the situation, I wouldn't fight over shower arrangements, except for allowing kids privacy when they want and need it. And 9 does seem like an age for privacy, to me. But I would just arrange it that way, and wouldn't forbid a 9 year old to shower with siblings.

Also, an older child bathing with a younger one probably cannot properly supervise the younger one alone. You don't want them slipping, falling, or anything else that can happen, G-d forbid.

TwinsMommy

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 1:06 pm

I stopped bathing my boy- girl twins together when she started touching his body parts and talking about them. They are extremely developmentally delayed but they were about 4. So with typical kids, my guess would be age 3 or so, no mixed gender bathing. Same gender maybe at 4, but by 6 certainly not (in my opinion).

we do allow them in a pool together with swimsuits on. but in the bathtub when they're generally naked, putting swimsuits on them would just encourage them to take them off, really.

amother

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 1:11 pm

amother wrote:

I'm this amother.
I'm asking because I simply don't know. I grew up an only child. I always bathed my kids together but seeing this thread it occurred to me that at some point I have to draw the line.

amother

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 1:22 pm

NO NO NO! That is not okay at all! A nine year old girl usually has some sort of sense of humility and if she doesn't, the other girl might! And for siblings I'd say until 6/7 the oldest. Once they hit that age they really deserve privacy.

ElTam

Fri, Jul 25 2014, 1:26 pm

No. I would not let.