Balabustas, I need you!

freidasima

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 12:15 pm

First, when you are not available to supervise, toddlers go into playpens around here. That's where they go for the three to five minutes you are washing dishes and it should not take more than that.

Going to the bathroom? Stop, take the child and then go back to your task. How many children do you have who have to go to the bathroom at once? Do you have five children under the age of five? Then one should be an infant, one should be in the playpen and possibly two and the two who are four and five can either go to the bathroom by themselves or can wait the three minutes until you wash those dishes.

I see people who have a totally child centered household, where the children create the schedule and the parents dance to their tune, complain that they can't get anything done. Of course not, they are slaves to their children and these children have no judgement other than "me me me"..And why not? They are small children. But they are left to run the roost and parents jump to their tune. Time to have a better balance. There are hours where parents play with children, and there should be hours where children have to play second fiddle to household tasks and if such children can't occupy themselves without causing a mess because they are too young, put them in a playpen with toys so that they can't make a mess, harm themselves, harm others or trash the house and get things done. I managed to do it with mine, my friends with theirs and our kids came out fine, balanced, and without trauma in spite of being put into playpens pretty often during the day, each time for a few minutes, because mommy has to 1) go to the bathroom 2) shower (yeah what happens if your husband is on miluim coming home once in 14 days? You go without showering all day in 100 degree weather without an a/c because you won't put your kid in a playpen for 90 seconds?) 3) wash dishes 4) cook dinner and have open fires on 5) do anything which would be dangerous if said child/ren would be able run loose at that second.

There is a happy medium to a fully child centered household, and unless you have total home help 24/7 including a maid, a cook, and someone to do your shopping etc., you really dont have a chance of running a smooth, neat house if you put your kids before any of your own or the home's needs all day long, every single day.

LittleDucky

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 1:18 pm

What is there to do if you have a small apartment? I don't have space or money for another dresser, a storage unit ect... Or maybe I would have the space (or found the space) if someone gave me the stuff. I don't know. It's a small place and there isn't a lot of wall space to add a dresser. I just have a hunch that if I had a few things like that I'd be a lot neater. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. I just don't have a place for my papers, work stuff, kids toys...
I am trying to purge stuff but it takes so long since I let it get so bad.

Fabulous

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 1:47 pm

amother wrote:

Anon because I feel everyone knows this but me. embarrassed

What do people mean when they say fold laundry? What do you fold?

I dump socks and underwear into drawers, and hang up shirts, pants, skirts. Am I the only person who has no idea what folding laundry means???

nothing to be embarrassed of but a lot of stuff should be folded.

socks should be matched and put together, underwear should be folded. shells and t-shirts, pajamas, sweaters that are not open all should be folded.

ray family

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 1:56 pm

my biggest problem is that we don't have enough space. I'm not willing nor do I want to throw out my kids toys. just because the oldest is done playing with a toy doesn't mean I shouldn't save it for the next (as long as it has all the pieces and isn't broken)
we live in Israel where there are no built in closets. my kitchen has 3 upper cabinets 5 lower cabinets and 2 small cutlery drawers. there isn't nearly enough space for e/t.
my kids have a 4 door closet- for 4 kids! that's 2 doors w/ shelves 2 doors for hanging w/ 2 shelves above.
we do not have storage under our beds.
there literally is not enough storage space
there's no way to get things in order when there's no where to put it.

edit to add my house is not dirty, it's messy. dishes get done a few times a day. laundry get folded and put right away- or at least folded. dusting is done a few times a week. bathroom is cleaned daily- if not more.etc

2cents

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 7:58 pm

I think this tip came from binah magazine a couple of years ago, but I find it helps a lot: set aside just five minutes per room/area before you leave your house for the day (if you stay at home, maybe before/after the kids leave, etc). use a timer if you need to, but go from room to room neatening and gathering all the stuff that does not belong in that room into a bag.

I do five to six minutes for the three bedrooms and upstairs bathroom, five minutes for the living room and dining room combined (just to pick up random things that have ended up on the sofa or shabbos table), and 5 minutes for the kitchen and den (just stacking dishes into the sink, wiping any visible messess on the counter...)

its not a deep clean, but its a very good and manageable system for maintenance.

mummiedearest

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 8:17 pm

ray family wrote:

hang up wall shelves and put things in bins on the shelves.

mummiedearest

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 8:18 pm

little_mage wrote:

I somewhat agree about the space issue, but a lot of my experience has been that the more space I have, the more I manage to fill it up with. I keep hoping that I can just find a magical storage solution that will make everything work, but in my more rational moments, I know that's wishful thinking. I have been debating getting some of those vacuum bags, but that won't solve the real problem.

vacuum bags are a waste of money. they do rip.

amother

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 8:53 pm

I have a weekly chore chart that's on my fridge, based on the advice of my grandmother (I called her totally exasperated one night because I felt constantly at least 2 steps behind my family and can never catch up cleaning after them).

Being honest with myself, I realized I'm not the type who will just see something out of place and say, "oh, I better return that to its proper spot!" Yeah right. I'm also oblivious to a lot of mess. Bad combination. So on my chart, I have big to-do items (bathrooms, organizing the office, windows, etc) and each day has certain chores. That way I don't slack on things like dusting (which I totally would otherwise) and along the way, I also pick up little items that create clutter. I also have things that must be done daily: dishes, sweeping, and a quick Swiffer before bedtime. Here is a link to the print-out I use:

http://i850.photobucket.com/al.....1.jpg

There are SO many if you search for them. Good luck!

seeker

Fri, Aug 08 2014, 12:17 am

Small apartment problem: Have not solved yet, but meanwhile if possible throw away any furniture that does not go floor to ceiling (besides table and beds, lol) Go to IKEA and replace it with a tall bookshelf and store your stuff from floor to ceiling, taking up less of your overall space. Even Israel has an IKEA... or something.

Toys - rotate them. Keep half of total toys in hard-to-reach storage spots and the other half accessible, switch them out when kids start needing something fresh. Depending how many toys you keep, maybe more than half stowed away. Speaking of keeping toys, toss anything that offers little actual entertainment value. Lots of toys looked like good ideas but flopped. Let go. Also baby toys, they get outgrown, if you plan to have another baby really soon then consider storing them if you have a basement/attic/storage space/convenient parent but otherwise I find they are pretty easy to come by because somebody else's baby outgrew them after a few months of light use, too.

Don't be fooled; my house is a wreck. But I don't think it's for lack of storage space or too much clutter (well, maybe a little too much clutter. But I don't hoard mail or preschool projects or anything.) It's because I can't find the time to put things away where they belong AND do the laundry AND wash dishes AND sweep AND etc etc while also taking care of kids and work and all that. I simply have no idea. Schedules don't work for me because there are just too many variables.

etky

Fri, Aug 08 2014, 1:10 am

seeker wrote:

Actually we have 3 of them. Ikea's been hugely successful in Israel where large families and small quarters often go hand in hand. Cheap and cheerful has broad appeal here. I often say that shopping at Ikea - where all sectors and demographic groups are represented - is the only really unifying experience in Israel. Seems that storage is a universal need.