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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts
Receiving a shadchan gift



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seri0us




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 13 2014, 12:30 pm
My husband and I set up really good friends of ours, and after months of guidance, baruch Hashem they're getting married! Our first successful shidduch!
Now my question is... what is the standard for shadchan gift when it's not an official shadchan? We live in Israel and the boy is Israeli, so I know the standards are lower, and also both families aren't in the greatest of financial situations. Also the girl has a reputation of taking things for granted. So all in all we don't know what to expect and wonder if we are supposed to say anything.

Thanks!


Last edited by seri0us on Fri, Aug 15 2014, 3:52 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother


 

Post Wed, Aug 13 2014, 1:10 pm
Just want to make you aware: It is not a GIFT! It is PAYMENT that you deserve for a service you provided. That said, I don't know what the standards are in Israel, but in the Metro NY area, where I live, it starts at $1000 from each side!

May you have much nachas from this shidduch. Great job!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 13 2014, 1:23 pm
Ask a rav.
I never heard of expecting a payment if you don't say it upfront.
As for a gift, a gift is like a tip (yes yes), it's never forced or it's not a gift/tip.

IYH they will invite you. You may even be at the honour/family table. Or not.

(amothers don't bother telling me my rabbanim are "wrong" Smile )
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