cant get them to sleep...any ideas?

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 9:01 pm

I have a 3 yr old and a 1.5 yr old. My three year old is a particularly hard child. Not speaking yet really and a screamer.
I am living by family for the last few months. Iyh hope to be moving in next month.

Anyways...my three year old was crib trained completely and usually went to be nicely. My 1.5 yr old I am retraining now. Wasn't feeling well tbe past few days and just got her to go in her crib tonight finally.

I went away in jube and left my kids here with family. As I am downstairs they took them upstairs too sleep. When I came home ds refused his crib. Insisting on dh bed. Dh gave in and he has been in his bed since. I hate it. Anyways since last week he has been impossible. Refusing to go to sleep a normal time. Dead tired acting up all day long. Last night dh laid with him from 7 till 10 and he was still up. I tried the stroller...the car anything. Tonight I said too bad. If he doesn't go to bed nicely. He is going back to his crib. Well he acts up and I put him in his crib. He just quieted down after crying for 45 minutes. Any ideas how I can make him go to sleep at a normal time inbhis crib again without him screaming each nigth like this?

Jeanette

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 10:23 pm

Here are a few thoughts.

1. What time is he falling asleep now and what time do you want him asleep? If he's falling asleep at 10, it's too drastic to push him back to 7. You need to first put him to bed at 9:30 one night, then 9, them 8:30 etc.

2. Even if he's up later than you'd like its still ok as long as he's doing quiet activities and you're not getting riled up about how late he's up. Try keeping a sleep diary for a week or two to record what time he fell asleep and what his behavior was like at bedtime.

3. Is he ready for a toddler bed? I agree with transitioning him out of your husbands bed into his own bed but as long as you're transitioning it may as well be to a "big boy bed" rather than back to a crib.

miami85

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 1:37 am

I had similar issues with my son (is yours also apraxic?) and getting him a toddler/twin size bed may really help. He may feel kind of "trapped" in a crib and appreciate being in a real bed. Especially if he can't talk he may feel that he can't communicate his needs if he's in the crib or that he's missing out.

I know this may sound like a controversial suggestion but sleep issues run in my family and as a recommendation from a family member I started giving my kids some melatonin to help get back into a better sleeping pattern, and help them learn to relax. If you don't want to do it long term, just a few nights may help them get into a better routine. I find still that if my son isn't tired or ready for bed--it won't work.

I find that there is something called "separation anxiety 2.0" that can happen around 3 years that has to do with a child now understanding that people they love can leave and not come back or bad things can happen. Your younger child may have a sleep regression that I found happened with both of my kids around that age (I think part of the first round of separation anxiety)--also check to see if he's teething, molars can start coming in around that time and that's really painful.

Another suggestion is to stagger their bedtime. I find that my kids fall asleep better if one goes in first (usually the crib one, but not necessarily).

amother

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 7:58 am

Open here. He has never gone to bed too early. Usually between 8 & 9. Last week I worked real hard on getting both to bed before 8 and it worked. They were like different kids. Then I went away for shabbos and they got totally offschedule.
Regarding a toddler bed. I made his crib into one but he hated it and kept running out of it so I made it back to a crib
once I move. He is getting a bed and he knows it.