babysitter nightmare WWYD?

rachel6543

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 10:39 pm

A suggestion.... If you plan to keep using her, get a nanny cam to put in your house (maybe get several for different rooms), that way you know what is going on.

Also, if you have a trusted friend or neighbor, ask them to stop by random times to check on babysitter and baby. When my son was little and we lived in an apartment a few times we had a babysitter to watch my son when he was mildly sick and I needed to work. The babysitters were arranged through a back-up care service through my work. My neighbors would randomly stop by (I would tell the sitter who was allowed to stop by) and it made me feel better. The sitters we had were just fine, but it's hard when you're having to trust a stranger.

whirlwind

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 10:42 pm

I'd be curious to hear about her reaction to the incident. I think you can probably determine a lot from that, from knowing how SHE felt about what happened. Did she apologized profusely or did she not even mention it again? Did she look embarrassed or act like this was no big deal? I think that could be a determining factor.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 10:56 pm

I think it is quite simple. YOU tell her that you will pay any tickets or towing incurred while she is parked at your house. Then tell her she is never to be more than ten feet or whatever away from your baby.

This must be a first time mother.

I cannot for the life of me envision this situation as being irresponsible or horrific. Its probably too soon to laugh about it but its one of those stories I could laugh about. Heck, my daughter was in a flash fire/explosion a month ago, and we are all telling jokes about it now. (Do NOT for a minute think that it was not a serious horrific situation that had nothing to do with this story BUT for that we are able to laugh a month and a half later.)

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:04 pm

GoldFlowers wrote:

I don't have advice but I could tell you that I wouldn't be ok with it.

Yup, she should've asked you first if you're ok that she leaves the house, especially if it's the first time she's babysitting. And she should've thought about auto lock before she left. Responsibility is considering different scenarios BEFORE they happen.

Responsibility- the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.

I think your take on responsibility is mistaken. Responsibility means you own it not that you are perfect at it. Sure, some of being able to take on a responsibility should be having some common sense, but responsibility itself is not being able to mitigate circumstances. I think that she did deal with the situation by calling immediately when the problem happened. I also would be thanking god that it was not a hot car the baby got left in and that of all the places a baby could get stranded alone in, home is probably the best place for it. With someone who knows and cares that they are inside by themselves and takes action to rectify it.

I would have completely considered something random like this an accident. If she showed futher lapses in judgement, like doing this or something equally random but preventable again, I might have considered it a pattern.

amother

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:08 pm

Why is everyone so quick to defend the babysitter??? There are so many posts on this site attacking mothers who leave their babies alone in the house, even for 5 minutes. As a babysitter, and especially since this is her first day, this should never have been an option!

MaBelleVie

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:18 pm

amother wrote:

I would NOT be ok with five minutes. At all. A meter in front of the house takes what? 30 seconds?

amother

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:20 pm

there's no way for me to know how long it was for. she claims he woke up right after I got in.
what bothers me most is that

A. she didn't ask me first. maybe it wouldn't have been a big deal but she wouldn't have known whther it was okay with me or not.

B. she didn't apologize so profusely and didn't seem shaken up about it at all. had it been me, I would have been panicked and in a frenzy but she didn't seem that way at all.

MaBelleVie

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:24 pm

This is why you should call her references and find out if it's out of character for her. As an aside, I would not call to ask if I could shove a quarter in the meter in front of the house or get an apple that I left in the car if I were a babysitter and the baby was napping.

GoldFlowers

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:28 pm

andrea levy wrote:

Responsibility- the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.

Responsibility-the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one's power, control, or management.

This is a little bit of a broader definition (found at reference.com.)

I don't think being responsible means considering every eventuality. But I do think it means thinking ahead. I'm not talking about the literal definition here, more about the expectations of what being responsible means.

I've done some babysitting myself and I've hired babysitters, so I'm thinking about this from both ends of the spectrum.

In this case, she walked out of a house with a baby inside. While she might've had good reason for that, it's still a big deal, something she should pause ad think about first. And thinking about it, it should occur to her that she needs to get back inside, either with a key, or by leaing the door open.

Seems common sense to me.

amother

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 11:52 pm

Was in a parking lot behind my building but she needed to walk around our building to get there so although she could see the car from our building she has to walk around through a courtyard to get there. Call it whatever distance u like. I don't know why ppl are making it seem like I expect her to call her for every single thing I'm not like that I was just shocked I never experienced this before

ElTam

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 12:49 am

What concerns me is that she didn't call you as soon as she was locked out of the house. You called her. How long was she locked out? How did she get back in?

Meter, no meter, blah blah blah. If my kid was behind a locked door, I would expect the babysitter to call me ASAP and either ask me what to do or tell me what she was doing to solve the problem. Was she just going to sit outside until you got home? Can you clarify?

deena19k

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 1:07 am

I would be very concerned. I wouldn't leave a sleeping baby in my house even for 15 seconds, exactly for reasons like this. You never know what could happen.
When I carry my groceries in, I shlep my baby back and forth with me. It's just not worth taking a chance.

MaBelleVie

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 1:15 am

ElTam wrote:

If that was the case I agree that is extremely concerning. You don't want someone who falls apart in this type of situation, but you do want someone who will treat it with urgency.

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 7:38 am

ElTam wrote:

she just sent a text saying 'don't panic but im locked out baby inside' .. thank gd we have a lock box with a code and the key is inside so I gave her the combo. but what if we didn't??

Chayalle

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 8:40 am

This thread has me laughing.

I'll never forget the time I was babysitting for a neighbor. I was like 16, the kids were sleeping, and I got locked into the bathroom! Seems they had just put in new doorknobs (It was a newly built home), and it got stuck.

I sat there for two hours, till they came home. They had to call someone to come and get me out.