What to Bring? | Imamother

Dina_B613

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 10:55 am

I go to another city for work every few months and eat meals with the same family most of the time for Shabbos. I stay in a nearby hotel. They are great, and they often invite me when I post on fb that I'm going to this city, (and I don't post in a "who can host me?" sort of way.) Sometimes when I know I'm going to that city, I ask them in advance if I can come for a meal.

I can't do a reciprocal sort of invite or bring them much in terms of food, because they are very strict about their hekscherim. I feel bad just bringing a bottle of wine, and want to bring something more.. Any suggestions?

Last edited by Dina_B613 on Mon, Aug 25 2014, 11:09 am; edited 1 time in total

ricotta

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 12:05 pm

I think they're all good ideas. If you are going there often you can bring something different each time.

We usually bring wine when we are invited for a meal, unless the hostess asks me to bring a specific food item. Every so often a bottle of Scotch or other spirit if it's a Yom Tov or we want to do something extra special for people who host us often.

As a spin-off idea for the kids I'd suggest books. I always prefer to give books to kids over toys.

I received a nice little set of serving dishes from one of my inlaws when we had them for Yom Tov.

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 12:27 pm

You have to know them well if you offer food, wine (allergies, taste). Towels I don't see as a gift but that's me.

Chayalle

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 12:28 pm

My MIL A"H used to always bring books as gifts for my kids. She was a pre-1-A teacher for many years, and this was her go-to gift. Over the years we developed quite a collection.

amother

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 3:23 pm

Don't people bring flowers any more? As a frequent hosts we get many bottles of wine we don't drink and have to wait till purim to get rid of. If it's me I never say no to chocolates. Fruits are nice especially if they're more exotic or expensive ones, like kiwi or mango not just a bag of apples. Dunno about toys, if it's me I won't appreciate them 'cuz it'll create more clutters and kids have too many toys anyway. I also don't get towells or hand soap sets or candy trays, don't most people have too many anyway?

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 4:36 pm

Flowers, now people in many countries are afraid of allergies- or clashing theme :/
Food, wine, fruits, require knowledge of tastes. Chocolate too. Household items, also , esp if decorative or rarer.

SplitPea

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 4:49 pm

I also say toys for the kids. Something like magna tiles is always a hit and a really nice expensive toy.

debsey

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 6:37 pm

Something they normally wouldn't splurge on! Toys for the kids, out of season fruit, a pretty serving dish....... my best gift was from someone who noticed I often serve individual serving desserts and bought me pretty ramekins......

mummiedearest

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 6:58 pm

I would get them a few shabbos lamps, one for each bedroom (if they don't have them already).

expensive fruit is great. can you find out a few hashgachas they use and buy them some expensive treats? my dh loves when people bring unusual fish (prepared). flowers are nice. also, ask if there's anything they need from your area. I don't like decorative items given as gifts, I tend not to like the designs. a gift card is generally preferred.

shanie5

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 9:55 pm

If I went to s/o regularly, I would pay attention to what they could use. Be it towels, a negel vasser cup, challah board or cover, good knives, toys for kids........

ricotta

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 2:25 am

amother wrote:

Don't people bring flowers any more? As a frequent hosts we get many bottles of wine we don't drink and have to wait till purim to get rid of.

None of your guests drink wine?

Ruchel

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 6:35 am

ricotta wrote:

None of your guests drink wine?

I would find it odd to bring a bottle and ask to drink from it, unless close family.
We don't drink wine, we don't serve wine.

mo5

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:59 am

Nice books for the kids (especially the more expensive ones they might not buy for themselves) age-appropriate games for Shabbos; always appreciated.
I like the idea of noticing what they have/do. One guest brought me a pretty sugar dish when she saw that ours had broken and was non-existent.
A plant can be nicer than flowers if you think they're the type of people to appreciate it.

mommyhood

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 10:30 am

mummiedearest wrote:

If you're not staying there shabbos lamps could be nice but if you are be careful. We bought shabbos lamps once and the person felt like we were buying them for ourselves to use versus being a true gift.

amother

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 12:32 pm

SplitPea wrote:

I also say toys for the kids. Something like magna tiles is always a hit and a really nice expensive toy.

Great toy! If you go so often then I think instead of spending $5 on a small gift each time just give one large gift every once in a while

HonesttoGod

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 3:25 pm

I didn't vote because they are all good ideas.

It depends how often is often. If you go once a month I would bring something small each time for example netilas yadayim towels (really nice idea) or fancy ice cream scoop, a serving dish, a vase with a nice bunch of flowers.
Other times you can just bring flowers and wine nothing wrong with that either you don't have to spend each time.

If you want to get a one time thing perhaps a great game for the kids and something small for the hostess too (towels or dish).