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Kohen marriage restrictions?
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mk613




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 11:56 am
A friend of mine just started dating a kohen and he asked her on the first date if both of her parents were born Jewish, and said he needed to know for halachic reasons. She asked me if I knew whether that was a restriction for kohanim... I hadn't heard that before. I had always thought the restrictions were just for converts or divorcees.

Shouldn't it be enough if my friend was born Jewish to a Jewish mother, or do both of her parents really need to be born Jewish to be eligible to marry a Kohen? Has anyone read a source for this?
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:00 pm
I know a non-Jewish father could be a problem according to some poskim, maybe not all. So if that is her situation, she should say so and let him ask his shaylos.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:04 pm
IIRC
Only one of the parents can be a convert
If at the time of birth the father was not Jewish, many (most?) rabbanim do not do the wedding. Though Tsits Eliezer allows. For ex the French rabbinate will not. But if such a couple arrives in France married, they go on his heter.
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suzyq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:11 pm
I'm married to a Cohen. My husband was told that both of the woman's parents must have been born Jewish. I had never heard that prior to dating him. But he told me he spoke to a rav about it extensively and that was the halacha.
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Odelyah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:30 pm
There definitely is a lenient opinion that is relied upon in certain situations. One of our students, a baalas teshuva whose father is not Jewish married a kohen in a halachic wedding. The mesader kedushin (yeshivish, FTR) was given a psak to marry them. It was a beautiful chasunah!
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:35 pm
It may depend on lechatchilah and bedieved, and if your friend just met the fellow, they probably ought to look into it before it's a bedieved.
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gittelchana




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:46 pm
mk613 wrote:
A friend of mine just started dating a kohen and he asked her on the first date if both of her parents were born Jewish, and said he needed to know for halachic reasons. She asked me if I knew whether that was a restriction for kohanim... I hadn't heard that before. I had always thought the restrictions were just for converts or divorcees.

Shouldn't it be enough if my friend was born Jewish to a Jewish mother, or do both of her parents really need to be born Jewish to be eligible to marry a Kohen? Has anyone read a source for this?


A Kohen cannot marry a woman whose father isn't Jewish.
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mille




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:52 pm
Odelyah wrote:
There definitely is a lenient opinion that is relied upon in certain situations. One of our students, a baalas teshuva whose father is not Jewish married a kohen in a halachic wedding. The mesader kedushin (yeshivish, FTR) was given a psak to marry them. It was a beautiful chasunah!


I am in a similar situation. Father not Jewish, born Jewish mother, and I'm married to a kohen. We were given the ruling by several different rabbis because our rabbi wanted to make sure we'd have no issues in the future with kids. Our mesader kiddushin as well as the multiple rabbis who allowed it very well knew that my father wasn't Jewish (and they were asked about our situation specifically). So yes, it's not absolute. The most stringent opinion is that both parents must be born Jewish, but it is by no means the ONLY opinion, not by far!

I know of two others in my situation as well. So it is not extremely uncommon.
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mk613




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 2:14 pm
So interesting! What's the source for the requirement for a Jewish father, according to those that hold that it's necessary?
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finallyamommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 2:45 pm
Yeah, my husband and I are both gerim and as far as we know, no children of ours will be allowed to marry cohanim.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:18 pm
We have a family friend who is a kohen and looking to get married. He's had to let go of quite a few suggestions because of Halacha.
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 06 2014, 11:40 pm
I was part of a shidduch group where someone was presenting a person and said the prospective dates mother would need to be born Jewish. I never heard of such a thing and it made no sense to me. I'd be curious as to the sourcing now that I'm hearing this again. But the Rav I spoke with said absolutely not. The date can't be a convert and cannot have slept with a non-Jew in the past. But the mother of the date can most certainly be a convert. And there is some sort of issue if the father is not Jewish, but more of a stringency was my understanding.
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Dina_B613




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 06 2014, 11:45 pm
SuzyQ: "I'm married to a Cohen. My husband was told that both of the woman's parents must have been born Jewish. I had never heard that prior to dating him. But he told me he spoke to a rav about it extensively and that was the halacha."

SuzyQ - This is the halacha according to SOME. Please don't use the phrase, "that is the halacha," because there are a million shades of gray in halacha about most issues. That psak is not universal, and I happen to know someone who attended a wedding preformed by the former chief Rabbi of Sweden (or another Scandanavian country, but I'm pretty sure Sweden) between the child of a non-Jewish father and a Jewish mother. I'm a ger and hope to someday have a son-in-law who is a kohein.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 3:09 am
Why is a Cohen son in law a goal? either it happens, or not?
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gittelchana




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 11:40 am
Dina_B613 wrote:
SuzyQ: "I'm married to a Cohen. My husband was told that both of the woman's parents must have been born Jewish. I had never heard that prior to dating him. But he told me he spoke to a rav about it extensively and that was the halacha."

SuzyQ - This is the halacha according to SOME. Please don't use the phrase, "that is the halacha," because there are a million shades of gray in halacha about most issues. That psak is not universal, and I happen to know someone who attended a wedding preformed by the former chief Rabbi of Sweden (or another Scandanavian country, but I'm pretty sure Sweden) between the child of a non-Jewish father and a Jewish mother. I'm a ger and hope to someday have a son-in-law who is a kohein.


It is Halacha according to Shulchan Aruch Even Hoezer, Siman 7 Seif 17.

But in that same place it says that if they are already married, the children are fine. Sometimes a Rabbi might consider it to be "after the fact" even though technically it's before the fact. This is where there is a million shades of Gray. With regards to the Halacha itself, I don't think anyone argues.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 12:42 pm
In frei circles or high assimilation places they may be less strict on this especially since there are (is?) real source.
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Abby2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 1:08 pm
It is one of the derabonans that a cohen cannot marry a person whose parent wasn't Jewish at the time of conception.

There may be extenuating circumstances, but it is definitely a halocha.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 2:14 pm
Dina_B613 wrote:
I'm a ger and hope to someday have a son-in-law who is a kohein.


Unless your dd is currently seriously dating a cohen, this is a really bizarre statement. Are you looking to "social climb" within the ranks the way wealthy British and American businessmen in the 1800s hoped to raise their family's status by marrying their daughters to impoverished peers so that they would have titled grandchildren? So if your dd marries a cohen, not only will her children not be looked down upon for having nonJewish great-grandparents, but they'll be a rung or three above ordinary Jews because their father is a cohen?
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 2:56 pm
gittelchana wrote:
A Kohen cannot marry a woman whose father isn't Jewish.


It has been said before that this is not so clear cut. A Shayla must be asked in every case. There are some Rabbanim that allow it under certain circumstances. I know of one such circumstance.
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gittelchana




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 07 2014, 5:05 pm
out-of-towner wrote:
It has been said before that this is not so clear cut. A Shayla must be asked in every case. There are some Rabbanim that allow it under certain circumstances. I know of one such circumstance.


Please read my last post.
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