Refuses to wash | Imamother

newlywed10

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 6:42 pm

So my son's latest and greatest is that he refuses to wash his hands. Ever. so after he goes to the toilet, and I have to wash his hands he throws a massive tantrumwhile I'm doing it and lies on the floor kicking and screaming afterwards. The problem is compounded by the fact that he is very smart, and knows that if he uses the toilet he will be forced to wash his hands afterwards, so he's been having accidents in school and home to avoid washing his hands. I have no clue where this is coming from, and he's been accident-free for awhile so this is frustrating, as he just started school for the first time and keeps having accidents. Any insight/advice on how to deal with this would be appreciated. TIA!

sped

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 11:41 pm

I may be a terrible mother, but I just gave up and figure he will be like the 85% or so of the population (I just made up that number) who also doesn't. B"H, he has started washing more willingly when we come in from outside and go t eat and if his hands are visibly dirty. I hope to slowly get back to normality bez"H.

amother

Wed, Sep 10 2014, 10:54 am

Sorry, no easy solution but hopefully he will grow out of it. I don't have great advice but maybe some things to try.

I would try the following (if you haven't already):
Maybe taking him to the store and letting him pick the soap out - so he feels more in control of the situation. Or asking him if he wants to do it himself or if he wants you to do it. Or buy him a towel that he might really like - or one that he can pick out.

Or in the interim would you consider using baby wipes to clean his hands, even though this is not ideal and then tackle this problem when he is a drop more mature.

You might want to try to introduce a reward or a reward chart. Meaning every time he does wash his hands nicely without a fight then he gets a sticker on a chart or a chocolate chip. If you do the chart, then you can consider giving him a treat after the entire chart or after a certain amount of stickers. In addition to the treat or sticker, for encouragement you might also want to tell him verbally each time that he does wash, that you are proud of him for washing his hands even though he doesn't like doing it (or even though he finds it a hard thing to do).

If none of the above methods work and you think it is something that has to be dealt with right now then consider trying the following:
Like a consequence that is connected. So for example, if you don't wash then you can't do the next activity (I.e. play with toys, eat...) because you can't touch anything until your hands are clean. Stay firm even if he doesn't care if he can't do the next activity. Eventually he might care when something exciting is about to happen. You might even want to purposely make something exciting happen right after.