Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management
Being a sahm with a nanny. please explain
1  2  3  4  5  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:09 am
I am only anonymous because I have discussed this irl.
why would a sahm need a nanny? just trying to understand the need. 4 out of the 5 children are out at school until 3pm. one baby at home. why not just get an evening babysitter or something. and I know this family is not rolling in the dough at all.
Back to top

Heyaaa




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:17 am
If you're not giving them your tzedaka you shouldn't ask. It's not your business.
Back to top

Odelyah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:40 am
Maybe even if you are giving them tzedaka... at first I thought this was a general question about a whole group of women you know in this category, then I realized you were asking about one specific woman. You have no idea what her situation is or what she's dealing with. Obviously she needs help for a reason and it really isn't healthy to devote energy to speculating about other people's personal decisions and private matters. It doesn't lead to anywhere good. Better for us get out of the habit, and spend more time focusing our gaze inward...
Back to top

DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:44 am
Why does she owe you an explanation?
Back to top

Dev80




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:48 am
Full time nanny - that sound nice Smile Smile

Maybe her baby doesn't sleep at night and she can't function during the day, let alone think about cleaning/watching the baby
5 kids is kH a lot of children, I have less than that and wish I could have a second set of hands almost all the time. Maybe for a healthy, happy home, the family decided that this is where their money should go and possibly are frugal elsewhere.

You probably won't know the real reason, I understand the speculating, not everyone copes so well with kids. I know I don't, but people wouldn't know that on the outside since when I'm out and about with my kids I look cheery and doing well. But I often don't feel well and my kids are hard and I'm not the 'beacon of calm' that others would think I am especially in the small quarters of my home. Like I said if I could I would have that full time extra help (it really sounds blissful!)
Back to top

chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:53 am
Sounds heavenly. Lucky her. I'd prefer a full time house cleaner. Doting on the babies is the fun part.
Back to top

Frumdoc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 4:06 am
Why is it anything to do with you?
Back to top

chayamiriam




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 6:52 am
Sometimes a nanny who lives in is much cheaper then hiring a cleaning lady /babysitter for a few times a week.
Back to top

the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 6:55 am
Maybe she's going through medical crisis and doesn't want to tell everyone.

Maybe one of her kids has special needs that you cannot see.

Maybe someone else is paying for the nanny as a gift to her for some reason.

Maybe you need to stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and concentrate on yourself.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:28 am
Use your imagination.

1) she is spoiled.

2) this nanny does the tasks she would ask her hard working husband to do otherwise

3) she has a non dangerous but annoying condition that can strike, like migraine or low bp or both like me Rolling Eyes and her husband is terrified to leave her alone a full day with the baby. Maybe he even found her on the floor a couple times already and said enough, now the hard tasks go to a nanny. You wouldn't see this, if she was taught to put up a front. Maybe she has daily attacks like my mom did at a time. My dad couldn't concentrate on work and often had to drop everything.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:36 am
Ppd?
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:43 am
I am the original poster. Im not sure why everyone had to bite my head off. I was not asking to judge her. This lady is a friend of mine.
I was really just wondering why a family would need a nanny if the mother was home all day with one baby, thats all.
Why does every thread like this have to turn into people thinking the OP is judging someone? I am not. Was just wondering what reasons someone would have a nanny if they are home all day. thats all.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:46 am
I would also wonder why especially since you mentioned that they don't exactly have a lot of money. There could be a million reasons. If they had money it would be easier to understand .
Back to top

groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:56 am
I could've told you that 98% of the responses to such a question would be 'why do you care?' I'm human, so I get the OP- sometimes I'm curious about things that are none of my business. No one owes anyone an explanation, but there's no law against wondering.

Personally, I've known a few women that had full time nannies while they were home. Some of them were just the spoiled types, telling everyone that it's just an absolute necessity. What they do with their time if not watching the baby is beyond me. I guess that's why they're all caught up on Lost and I'm not? I dunno.

Some really just had trouble coping..for whatever reason (maybe a little ppd, just general hormones or weariness) they couldn't even handle the one baby while managing the rest of the house. It seems excessive to me, but I'm not them I guess.
Back to top

Tweedy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 7:58 am
she had a horrible pregnancy, spent most of in the hospital, her baby is up all night/day, she's got a hidden illness which not many people know about and she doesn't want to tell, she can't function and needs treatment, nanny is government paid, she found an organisations who help mummies in need , bh Hshem sent her the help she needs and deserves!

The question I have, why do you care, why does it bother you, why does she owe anyone including you an explanation, don't you know there is ALWAYS a reason for everything and why why why ??? you can't see the whole picture infact you can't see and don't know anything what goes on in her house, unless you are trustworthy and she wants to share it with you! So please myob
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 8:01 am
Tweedy wrote:
she had a horrible pregnancy, spent most of in the hospital, her baby is up all night/day, she's got a hidden illness which not many people know about and she doesn't want to tell, she can't function and needs treatment, nanny is government paid, she found an organisations who help mummies in need , bh Hshem sent her the help she needs and deserves!

The question I have, why do you care, why does it bother you, why does she owe anyone including you an explanation, don't you know there is ALWAYS a reason for everything and why why why ??? you can't see the whole picture infact you can't see and don't know anything what goes on in her house, unless you are trustworthy and she wants to share it with you! So please myob
Again, I did not ask this to judge. Just wondering how one would need one.
And this person is a friend so I know for a fact that none of the things that you gave as possible reasons are true. Not one.
About hashem sending because she deserves, maybe. Im glad for that. I was just wondering why one would need one.

Gosh, such judgement on me. Thanks all. Rolling Eyes Mad
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 8:07 am
What they do?
Well maybe the nanny doesn't clean. Or the nanny only does the cleaning and heavy childcare.
I would LOVE a nanny to clean, cook, do bathes and also diapers, so I can spend my time with the "nice" aspects of the baby and also get a lot of free time.
I guess if we didn't send to Jewish school and keep kosher we could have a lot more help LOL!! but priorities are priorities...

Now if you give her tzedaka, you can reconsider. I would, frankly, because there are Jews eating treif due to poverty...
Back to top

MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 8:24 am
I think people assumed you're judging because it isn't hard to come up with a list of 25 reasons, and not all of them are things that even a best friend would be privy to. And if you guys are soooo close that you literally tell each other everything, I'm assuming you can ask her about this too.
Back to top

oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 8:26 am
Or maybe she's just plain spoiled and lazy.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 8:38 am
I have one cuz it makes my life more pleasant.
Back to top
Page 1 of 5 1  2  3  4  5  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Please explain to me what wanting woman to Lein Megilla is
by amother
268 Yesterday at 9:10 pm View last post
Can anyone explain the Israeli chareidi school system?
by amother
7 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 5:21 am View last post
Can someone please explain laser my daughter wants full body
by amother
24 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:36 pm View last post
Can someone explain please
by amother
13 Thu, Mar 14 2024, 5:20 pm View last post
World spa McDonald' Ave- please explain
by amother
8 Sun, Mar 10 2024, 11:28 pm View last post