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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Wwyd when a new friend calls you sweetie?



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amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 11:20 pm
It really annoys me. I started talking to her on the phone about carpool for our kids and she keeps saying sweetie.
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Volunteer




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 11:27 pm
Where is your new friend from? Where I live (in the South usa) strangers will call you sweetie, no matter how old you are. It's not considered condescending here.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 11:32 pm
Hmmm. My best friend and I call each other "honey" and "sweetie" continuously.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2014, 11:45 pm
She is from Israel. I felt that she is talking to me like I'm a little girl.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 2:53 am
Maybe she calls everyone that because she can't remember names!
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chaniej




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:29 am
maybe call her honey back... a bit firmly, like emphasize it. hopefully she'll get the hint!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 7:20 am
I like it. lol
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Imogen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:00 am
In Hebrew people use phrases such as darling and sweetie much more often then we would ever do so in English.

If someone's comes from an Arabic speaking backgound then their Hebrew may have even more terms of endeament such as baby, my love, etc since Judeo Arabic uses lots of them and many sephardi Jews inherit language characteristics from Arabic just as ashkenazis have their Hebrew influenced by yiddish etc. So when we come to speak English our translation skills still pass on those terms of address, " motak" " habibi"
"abdalek" translated mean sweetie, baby/ darling.

If Hebrew is this new friend's first language she may say sweetie to be friendly and welcoming, very common trait.
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cbg




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:04 am
amother wrote:
Maybe she calls everyone that because she can't remember names!

I do this all the time.
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:28 am
Why can't you just say 'sorry, would you mind me (insert name here)? This way I know for sure who you're talking to! And it feels more personal.'

If she is calling you sweetie because she doesn't remember your name, you've just told it to her without making her admit it. Problem solved.
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:28 am
Since you consider her a friend, I would tell her, I know you consider saying sweetie as a term of endearment and you don't mean any harm, but I don't like it. In the culture that I'm living in now, they kiss on the cheek. My friends know that I don't like it, so they don't kiss me. They know that I don't mean anything by it.

I'm very into saying the truth, with tact, of course Wink , with my friends.
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gittelchana




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 9:46 am
amother wrote:
It really annoys me. I started talking to her on the phone about carpool for our kids and she keeps saying sweetie.


Some people speak that way.

I get called sweetie by strangers including men, dh gets called sweetie by strangers including women. It's annoying, but we just shrug it off.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 10:37 am
WWID? I would live with it and say nothing. I would not want others nitpicking on my harmless speech habits.
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MimiMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 10:46 am
If she's not saying it patronizingly, shrug it off. Personally I love being called by endearing names, the world can use a little more love.
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mommy1108




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 11:25 am
I'm personally not te mushy gushy type and those cutesy names bug me. If I'm not close w the person I usually ignore it but if you're gonna hear sweetie all the time and it bothers you, maybe say something in passing.

I've said to certain people "I'm really not the mushy gushy type" people in my life know that no, I don't want you to hold my hand or rub my back and if they call me something I'll jokingly respond in a way that they'll get it.

Guess it depends how open you want to be with her
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farm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 2:29 pm
Like mentioned before, it's a cultural think. I get called terms of endearment all the time by certain underlings and supervisors at work and have gotten used to it. She is connecting with you a tiny bit more than on a superficial level- try to appreciate it instead of resenting it.
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smss




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:14 pm
I hate when men say that to me, but yeah I don't think it's weird for a friend.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 5:24 pm
Unless it's a man, a woman much younger than I, or someone I supervise at work, I wouldn't make a federal case out of it. She doesn't mean anything by it.

MY pet peeve is strangers who call me at work (my company serves other companies, so people call up for info or to request services or whatever) and they say "Hi Zaq, this is Justin from Apex Widget." Justin from Apex Widget usually sounds about my ds age, but even if he sounds old enough to be my father, I shoot back "That's Ms. Zaqarias to you." Its one thing if we've been doing business together for a while, but someone I don't know from Adam? No, senyor, we are not buddies, and using my given name doesn't make us so.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:09 pm
Op here
Now I get it. Cultural differences is a tricky thing. I will try to be ok with it.
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