should boss pay for work clothes for dh?

amother

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 2:22 am

This is not about me, it is about my husband but I did not know which thread to put it in.
My husband is in a service-related industry with very high-profile clients. His boss always tells him to button his top button at these meetings and my husband can't. He pushes his tie as far up as possible but can't close his button. It just won't go - it is too tight and won't close. My husband is skinny but his neck is very wide. If he buys a shirt 2 sizes up, it would close by his neck but be huge on him.

They do make custom made shirts that are $80-$150 on the lower end. His boss said he should buy 4 shirts like this and the boss would pay.

I think it is crazy to make his boss pay as everyone needs to spend money on work clothes and he needs to have professional clothes that he should pay for. I do not want my husband to take the boss's offer to pay as this is a new job that he only started a couple of months ago and I feel like it will look better if my husband just spends the money himself.

My question is if we should take the boss's money or pay ourselves.

What do you think?

On a side note, do any imamothers have experience with men's neck size being different size than shirt? Do you know where you can buy shirts online or where to have custom-made?

m in Israel

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 2:57 am

If the boss cares enough to offer to pay then there is no question that your husband should buy those shirts. I really don't understand your question. I thought you were going to ask if you should take the boss's money or pay for the shirts yourself, in which case I hear the question. But if the second option is to not buy them (you said " He does not see the need to go buy new shirts"), then definitely take the money and do what the boss wants.

m in Israel

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 8:50 am

vintagebknyc wrote:

the boss has offered, so he obviously thinks highly of DH.

if DH worked in a different service industry that involved uniforms, he'd be provided clothes.. no? what's the difference?

take the $$ for the shirts, why wouldn't you?

Actually, this is a complex issue that is not so simple -- have you been following the latest Walmart worker scandal? (Basically, if it is a uniform the company must provide, but if it is a "dress code", even a very specific one, the company does not need to provide it. The legal difference is that a dress code involves regular clothing that one could wear out of work as well. It is clear that OP is not talking about a "uniform" but about a dress code.)

Peanut2

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 8:56 am

If the boss offered to pay then I think do what the boss says and let him pay.

I am assuming he is paying for this from the business.

If the situation is more complex, like your husband said on I don't need a new shirt once the boss said to buy one, and the boss only then offered to pay then yes, you should pay yourself. So I guess depends on the situation.

vintagebknyc

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 8:57 am

m in Israel wrote:

I hadn't heard about it (though I trust very little about walmart in regard to how they treat their workers).

even so, the boss has offered because he knows this is an expensive issue. I think it's generous, and I think you should take him up on the offer.

Ilana Tamar

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 8:59 am

I used to work in an industry where we needed to look proffessional at all times.

The men always had to wear suits and ties and starched dress shirts, and even needed dressy outerwear. Incorporated into their salaries was a clothing allowance.

I do recall overhearing a conversation between the boss and an employee. Apparently, a client complained that the employee didn't look proffessional enough. This was during the frigid winter and the employee was wearing a bright green parka. The boss told him to get something a bit more sophisticated looking and he would pay. Not out of his own pocket, but as a company expense.

Perhaps ur dh's boss meant something along those lines, not necessarily that he would pay out of his own pocket and make it feel like charity.

Barbara

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 9:45 am

amother wrote:

One way or another, your husband needs to get shirts that fit him, or he is going to lose the job.

If he buys off the rack shirts, he should look for ones that say slender or slim fit.

Just about every Hong Kong tailor does custom shirts. Without knowing where you are, I can't make any recommendations.

Peanut2

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 10:02 am

m in Israel wrote:

Doesn't have to. That doesn't mean not allowed to. Here the boss offered. Unless DH was being a pain and getting him to say that, you just take the offer and buy the shirts, ASAP.

amother

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 10:06 am

My husband is VERY into this kind of thing and has all of his shirt custom made. You can be sure that if he would say this to an employee, the employee had better take him up on the offer or else he will be moved away from a client facing role (or terminated).

My husband gets his shirts custom made from a Hong Kong tailor named Win Guide. It's maybe $75 a shirt if you buy a few. They are gorgeous. He had his measurements taken on a trip to Hong Kong and now just orders a few more every year. You can look into which tailors come to the US to take measurements (or just go wherever the boss goes!)

amother

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 11:01 am

let the boss pay.

my dh boss pays for half of his phone. we used to have "stupid" phones. It came to a point where it would be helpful for him to have a smartphone but we werent willing to make the investment. The boss agreed he should have it and pays for half of our bill.

lawyers get phones.

my dh is waiting for the day that the office covers a lease for him. Right now he is driving a 12 year old car, with over 100,000 miles on it with dents and peeling paint. His clients are in the entertainment business. He drives to clients in his car. At some point it would look bad for the firm if a high ranking member is driving a car like that. My dh is okay driving that car (we have pride in the car). If they never offer that is okay. When the time arises we'll deal with a new lease/purchase

Mishmish

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 10:43 pm

Brooks brothers has slim and extra-slim fit shirts. They come sized in a wide combination of neck sizes/ sleeve lengths. They are ubiquitous and professional. If you have a store near you or want to order online, it may be a place to start and will be faster than having shirts made. Online I think they are having a 25% off friends and family sale right now.

zaq

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 10:52 pm

freidasima wrote:

Can't you just take off the button and re-sew it further out towards the side to give your husband's neck an extra half inch?

Google "collar button extenders" or "collar extenders". The old-people catalogs like Fingerhut are loaded with them. They're little elastic loops attached to a button. You loop the loop over the collar button, and slip the attached button into the buttonhole. The collar is closed but the elastic allows breathing room.

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UT.....d=306

amother

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 11:42 pm

I am the only frum female where I work. There are about a dozen frum men, plus my frum bosses. The rest of the workers are not jewish. So I am the only employee who wears a skirt-ever. Uniform shirts are provided by the company.

When I took the job, my boss told me he does not want me wearing denim skirts to work (he knows me-I lived in denim). I should get navy uniform skirts and he will pay for them. So thats what I did. In fact, I just ordered new ones today as my old ones were shot after 2 years of constant wear.

I don't understand why you have a problem with your husbands boss offering to pay for what he wants your husband to wear. As long as he only wears those shirts for work.

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Sep 18 2014, 11:56 pm

You are not getting it.

His boss has given him a direct order. Refusal is insubordination. I am not being cute. I mean this literally.

You husband should work with the boss about where to get them and all, and express gratitude for the boss paying for it, and go on.

The boss knows what he wants and he knows how to get it, so let him be the boss. That's WHY he's the boss.

I have a feeling your husband will go far here.

Please don't get involved, you will only do harm.

This is going to work out very well. Shhh!