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Forum -> Household Management
Being a sahm with a nanny. please explain
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OOTBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 10:33 am
What it comes down to is the same as so many other threads here -- unless it affects you personally, MYOB.
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MamaBear




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 11:26 am
I wish I had a part time nanny! I love being with my kids but every waking minute? Not really, to be honest.

And the amount of time my kids spend in the car driving to each other's schools and activities....well I bet they'd rather be home with a nanny during that time. It's not exactly quality mommy time.
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california2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 4:26 pm
Could not agree more with above post (sorry, can't figure out how to quote!)

Just shoved my littlest kid into his crib after shoveling in his lunch, just so he could get the little bit of naptime possible before the school pick up rounds start in less than an hour. I know for sure he'd rather be home being "watched" by a nanny, than ripped out of his crib, strapped in a stroller, and pushed around town for forty minutes while I pick up the sibs.

And when we get home, I would personally prefer to hang out with my kids and supervise homework, but instead will be prepping dinner and snacks. In my dream world, we'd have a two hour nanny who'd be here during little guy's nap, do some food prep in that time, then take him to the park for an hour to blow off steam while I sat with the big kids during (nanny prepared!) snack and started homework. Then nanny could go home.

Or possibly I could get off my tush and do the food prep during his nap... nah, too much to read on imamother!!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 4:50 pm
It could be that she's enjoying life, and that's certainly a possibility but it could also be that there's more to the picture that you don't see (and although others suggest you ask, I disagree). I am a SAHM and have a lot of cleaning help, you may think I'm a lady of leisure, I know many people do, but what you don't know is that I suffer from anxiety which makes the simplest tasks really hard for me. So, if you think I'm enjoying my day, I'm not, I'm crying that I can't run the household myself and need so much help.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 4:52 pm
Even if she has help with the kids, she still needs to shop, cook, laundry,clean, pay bills, take kids to various doctor visits etc. she may have some spare time, but I can't think of any mother who doesn't have a million things to take care of besides the actual watching of their children.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 5:45 pm
Is it a nanny or housekeeper?
Having someone around to help with food prep (cutting, cleaning, peeling) and cleanup. And laundry and linen and garbage and bathrooms and floors, and everything else can be a tremendous help.

I have a friend with a full time housekeeper and she is able to accomplish so much more because she has someone to help her out with whatever she needs and can leave the house without thinking twice about making arrangements.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Sep 18 2014, 7:31 pm
I grew up with a SAHM, and a large family. My mom was always completely overwhelmed by looking after us, so much so she was ill for much of my teenage hood, and I had to take charge of the house. It was basically exhaustion, along with one special needs brother and few big characters among us siblings. And now I realise my mom has adhd, so never really managed the household well.

I wish we had had cleaning help more than a few hours of heavy cleaning once a week, or a nanny to help look after the morning or supper/homework/bath and bed routines for the children, my mom would have been able to be a mother, and talk to us, enjoy her life, and I would have been able to socialise some nights or do school work before 11pm rather than take over her jobs. But because it was so so shameful that a SAHM with a massive burden, even with my dad's help , could not cope, we had to take it on for her in secret, so we were not even allowed to aacknowledge that was what the issue was or that we were in any way an abnormal home or family.

So I missed out on a good relationship with my mother, school exams and results because I never had time to learn anything so they thought I was stupid, and friends who I never saw outside school lessons as I had to run home every day to make meals or be the nanny/big sis who looked after the family.

I wish we had had a nanny, rather than my mother ruining her physical and mental health trying to maintain the burden which was just too much for one person (or two, but my dad worked crazy hours, not by choice). It would have made my life happier, more fulfilled and certainly I would have achieved more as an adult instead of having to catch up years of self neglect and poor parenting.

All this holier than thou coping - is it really benefiting your children, or are they sacrifices on your own alter of maintaining that perfect image of female servitude?
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