How do you pay your kids' jewish schools?

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 6:42 am

I have two boys and I'm now pregnant again. I'm a bit scared this time because I'm not sure how we can afford anything in NYC. My oldest son goes to a modern orthodox nursery school and we pay $700 a month. Next year, my younger son might go to school as well (he'll be almost 3, not sure if I should take him in already or I might wait another year).

I was thinking about moving to NJ but it can't be too far away from NYC since my husband works here. He's the only one working, I'm a stay at home mom. I was thinking I should work, but it won't make a huge difference...we'd have to pay for day care/babysitter and it's very expensive.

I was also thinking we should just make an aliyah! I feel like you have to be rich in order to send multiple kids to an orthodox jewish school. I mean, how do people even save for college tuition after spending all their money on yeshivas?!! It's just ridiculous.

Do you take any financial aid? do the jewish schools even have such things? I just feel so hopeless. I really want my kids to study in a good orthodox jewish school, but I'm now leaning towards public schools because we can't afford these jewish schools. My dad helps us out a little with the money for my son's nursery school..so how could we afford paying for another?! Even if I do work, we would still not have any savings.

MamaBear

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 9:02 am

You move to a cheaper area and your husband commutes, even if the commute sucks. He will eventually earn more money as you have more kids in school. When they are all in school you go back to work.

And if you can barely pay for one, you don't send an almost 3yr old!

ETA If you think you would be out of the workforce then for many years, you go back to work earlier, even if you barely net any money after childcare expenses. Then you'll be at a much higher earning level by the time they are all in elementary.

mummiedearest

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 9:08 am

nursery school in yeshiva is not worth it at all. if the child must be in school, there are cheaper options out there. I have three kids, and my third is turning three soon. I also stay home, and I decided that after having two kids in nursery school, it's not worth it. since I am capable of handling being home with a three-year-old (and enjoying it), I see no reason to send to school. she'll probably go for kindergarten, but that's because upk programs I have dealt with have good curricula and actually have some value. keep your kid home or send to a small playgroup part time. seriously, it's not worth the money just to have your kid come home with parsha-themed projects that he didn't really participate in making anyway.

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 9:50 am

OP here
Thank you for your replies.

I'm now more convinced that I shouldn't send my young one to a nursery school next year. My older one already started and he loves it, so I can't just stop him from going there. I thought it would be good for him because he wasn't really socializing with kids and now he has friends. Of course I could teach him lots of the things they do in the nursery school, but I thought it's time for him to be with kids since he's always with me.
I'm just not sure where I'd send the older one next year when he'll be 4 years old. The one option is for me to send him to a public school, but the ones in my neighborhood aren't that great. So I'm just not sure what to do.

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 10:06 am

mummiedearest wrote:

op, see if you can find a kosher day care that provides upk. the one I used closed, but I'm sure there are more out there. it's likely to cost a lot less.

OP here
I'm not too familiar with this.. but I searched online UPK is universal pre-k? how is it different than others? do you mean a public pre-k that serves kosher food?

mummiedearest

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 10:18 am

universal pre k is available in yeshivas, day cares, and public schools. it's provided by the state. you will end up paying the private schools tuition anyway, but you don't have to pay for that portion of the day when they follow the upk curriculum. when we sent our son to a jewish day care for upk, his tuition was $100 less a month than his sister's nursery tuition in the same school. I think it ended up being $3500 for the year. significantly less than $7000 for nursery in yeshiva. last I checked, the yeshiva tuition including upk was over $8000 a year. (can't say I know about all yeshivas, but the ones I'm familiar with definitely charge this.) look for a licensed jewish day care center. there are plenty around. ask them if they have a class for this age, whether they have a upk program, etc. it's worth looking into. of course, you also have the option of keeping your oldest home next year. you may both enjoy that.

Ashrei

Wed, Sep 24 2014, 10:32 am

I live in Brooklyn, and I think that here there's a good chance for tuition breaks, depending on the yeshiva... Maybe look into schools here and if you think something would work out tuition and hashkafa wise, move on in... You seem to have some time, so you can start slowly now.

Aliya is always the best option, what is tuition like in EY though? I have no concept of it, just wondering...

SRS

Sun, Sep 28 2014, 11:56 am

Maybe you can look for other mothers and form a cooperative agreement to host each others children for activities and do some joint outings too. I assume your husband is at the start of his career and that you will eventually want your children to go to yeshiva, so it is worth saving up the dollars when they are younger so you have more options when they are older.

I'd give the same advice to all young mothers regardless of their religious affiliation. Bigger kids have bigger needs and needs cost $$$ regardless. Those needs could be anything from more involvement in after school sports to costly remediation. When you go out and spend on the options that are available today like music classes for toddlers, gym classes for toddlers and all the other incredible options of today (none of which existed back in the day outside of some fancy urban areas perhaps), you set yourself back and ultimately for what? Some kids, of course, will very much benefit by a nursery school or a music class or a gym class for various reasons. But I think that a lot of parents have bought into the notion that these are necessities instead of thinking how the objective can be achieved in a different way. $700 per kids for nursery school or $1400 for two kids is a big setback. If you have that money, but save it, you will be in a far better position when the kids are bigger.