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Overwhelmed!!! How does everyone do it???
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smss




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 3:32 pm
amother wrote:
Different voltage Smile Plus, can't afford the electricity to leave it on all day. But good to know it's cheap in America!


you can get a crockpot in israel for 100 shekels...that's only a drop more than $25.
and they don't use much electricity, I think I read somewhere that it's the cheapest cooking method, cheaper than using an electric oven.
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wifenmother




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 3:37 pm
tichellady wrote:
That is most certainly not normative halakhic practice! I am not sure where you learned of this chumrah...

It is NOT a chumrah! It is basic halacha in SA. I also struggle with this as I need more cleaning help in order to swing work and home (and still be overwhelmed Very Happy ), but I can only find a cleaning lady for hours when I am not home. Basic halacha is that meats not double wrapped with a seal (or locked in your freezer....) become treif. I don't think pots have to kashered, but it is ossur to l'chatchila leave them open - there's no guarantee the cleaning help won't use it especially since week in and week out no one stops in to check on her; she knows you're at work. Some get away with this by having security cameras installed that they can watch at random while the cleaning help is in the house. Others are unfortunately ignorant or have a heter that I would like to know about as well...
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Dawling




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 3:51 pm
Eschaya, can you elaborate on your weekday dinners and freezer cooking?


Also, for the crock pot users, if I'm home, can I just use my reg pot instead and put it on a low flame and go on with my day?

I'm not asking abt safety, I'm asking as far as the food coming out decent without me having to oversee it too much.

I have almost no time for cooking and constantly looking for shortcuts.
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ven




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 3:57 pm
I didn't read the whole thread , I learned that my powers are limited and what does not get done can wait a little bit longer. So I step over clothes lying on the floor to take my book and have some me time... My sanity has more value then the picture perfect household . I had several breakdowns before I learnt this .
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 4:05 pm
amother wrote:
Can you make other dishes besides meat? If so, please share!


There are a million threads on this subject. Do a search for "crock pot" and you're good to go. A couple years ago ra_mom gave a whole bunch of pareve crock pot recipes. You might want to pm her.

I remember a lasagna recipe, mac and cheese, a bunch of hearty pareve soups, rice and beans, etc.

Maybe we could add a crock pot section to the suppers for a year cook book?
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 4:12 pm
wifenmother wrote:
It is NOT a chumrah! It is basic halacha in SA. I also struggle with this as I need more cleaning help in order to swing work and home (and still be overwhelmed Very Happy ), but I can only find a cleaning lady for hours when I am not home. Basic halacha is that meats not double wrapped with a seal (or locked in your freezer....) become treif. I don't think pots have to kashered, but it is ossur to l'chatchila leave them open - there's no guarantee the cleaning help won't use it especially since week in and week out no one stops in to check on her; she knows you're at work. Some get away with this by having security cameras installed that they can watch at random while the cleaning help is in the house. Others are unfortunately ignorant or have a heter that I would like to know about as well...


have you asked a rav about this, or are you just reading the SA on your own? it's definitely worth discussing with a competent halachic authority. I once placed an order with a kosher grocery store and included a couple of pounds of deli meat from their take out counter (meaning they slice it there, it's not vacuum sealed). the meat came wrapped in paper, tied in a bag. the label outside the bag did not specify hechsher or store name. the only identifying info on it was the price. my rav said I could use it, the price was enough of an identifier. but he said I should call the store and let them know that it wasn't sealed with the hechsher tape. it was definitely not double sealed, the delivery guy wasn't jewish, the checkout ppl aren't jewish, etc. it's a question of being able to recognize the meat as your own/kosher. if you really need the cleaning help and this gets in the way, it's time to explore your options.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:43 pm
wifenmother wrote:
It is NOT a chumrah! It is basic halacha in SA. I also struggle with this as I need more cleaning help in order to swing work and home (and still be overwhelmed Very Happy ), but I can only find a cleaning lady for hours when I am not home. Basic halacha is that meats not double wrapped with a seal (or locked in your freezer....) become treif. I don't think pots have to kashered, but it is ossur to l'chatchila leave them open - there's no guarantee the cleaning help won't use it especially since week in and week out no one stops in to check on her; she knows you're at work. Some get away with this by having security cameras installed that they can watch at random while the cleaning help is in the house. Others are unfortunately ignorant or have a heter that I would like to know about as well...


I have been to shiurim about the halakhos of having a housekeeper/nanny and have never heard this before. I know many people who have cleaning help while they are not home who don't have security cameras (including my rabbi and my many relatives who are rabbis) . I have even gone over with my rabbi about how I can have my cleaning lady wash my dishes (while I am not home) and this doesn't come up. This is clearly not normative in my Orthodox community. Just because it's written in the SA doesn't mean it's how we posken today. You should speak to a Rav and clarify. If this is how your Rav poskens, realize that there are MANY other rebbeim who don't posken that way.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 5:49 pm
I usually put up my cholent Friday morning before I leave for work. wifenmother, are you saying that I should be concerned that my cleaning lady will replace my kosher meat in the crockpot with non kosher meat? That I should be worried that in the four hours she cleans my entire house (which would take me a lot longer to do on my own) she also manages to take the chicken in my fridge and replace it with non kosher chicken? She pours butter on my meat pots just for fun and then cleans them and puts them back exactly how I left them? I don't understand why this would be a concern any rational person would have.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 8:46 pm
How I do it? I go to the gym 3 times a week and I dance it off!
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d l




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 8:58 pm
I've heard of it, it's called bosur ha.... Min haiyin. Why does everyone bash each other? Don't take it personally- you can just ask your lor and find out more about it and if/how it applies in your situation, if it's something new that you've never heard of and want to find out more about it.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 8:59 pm
tichellady wrote:
I usually put up my cholent Friday morning before I leave for work. wifenmother, are you saying that I should be concerned that my cleaning lady will replace my kosher meat in the crockpot with non kosher meat? That I should be worried that in the four hours she cleans my entire house (which would take me a lot longer to do on my own) she also manages to take the chicken in my fridge and replace it with non kosher chicken? She pours butter on my meat pots just for fun and then cleans them and puts them back exactly how I left them? I don't understand why this would be a concern any rational person would have.


Might not be rational to you, but I was also taught that is the halacha. There are ways around it like mummiedearest said (security camera, someone coming in during the day, double wrapped with a seal..). But you cannot completely ignore the halacha. I hear you that it didn't ever come up in your discussions but you should at least ask your rabbi and see what he says. Could be he'll say it's ok for you for whatever reason but please don't dismiss this as a chumrah because it doesn't make sense to you.


I don't either think that my cleaning lady will switch my wine with non kosher wine but if I know she had possible access to my open wines while I was away, they are garbage. (non mevushal I'm talking about)
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questioner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 9:06 pm
tichellady wrote:
I usually put up my cholent Friday morning before I leave for work. wifenmother, are you saying that I should be concerned that my cleaning lady will replace my kosher meat in the crockpot with non kosher meat? That I should be worried that in the four hours she cleans my entire house (which would take me a lot longer to do on my own) she also manages to take the chicken in my fridge and replace it with non kosher chicken? She pours butter on my meat pots just for fun and then cleans them and puts them back exactly how I left them? I don't understand why this would be a concern any rational person would have.


Yes. But there are ways around it / leniencies
Here's a summary of some of the opinions / issues. http://www.shemayisrael.com/pa.....6.pdf
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 9:14 pm
amother wrote:
Can you make other dishes besides meat? If so, please share!

Hearty bean or split pea soups
Lentil sloppy Joe's
Cake
Lots of other options out there
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Pita




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 9:22 pm
Lower your standards.

No one "does it all". They take shortcuts, have a disasterous house (me), neglect their kids, scream at everyone, or are independently wealthy and have others do some of it. Most of us do some combination of these.
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Pita




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 9:40 pm
Also, I vote for cleaning help. Worth every penny. And greatly increases our Shalom Bayit.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 10:27 pm
OP, do you foresee being able to cut down on your work hours in the near future?

Does your husband help with the kids and housework? What's his schedule?

Place grocery orders via email/ fax for delivery
Use plastic everything- cups, plates, cutlery, foil pans....
Get cleaning help
Speak to your Rav for further guidance- it's not a mitzva to be overwhelmed and exhausted- do everything possible to ease the strain on yourself

As for how everyone does it- who cares.... lots of people burn out. I know way too many people in my age range (I'm 29) who are so burned out. Be kind to yourself.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 01 2014, 11:15 pm
questioner wrote:
Yes. But there are ways around it / leniencies
Here's a summary of some of the opinions / issues. http://www.shemayisrael.com/pa.....6.pdf


I read the article and it sounds like there is no concern unless this person would benefit from switching the food, hence it should not be an issue ( at least for me and my housekeeper).
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