Amother whose DH is commiting fraud

amother

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 7:53 am

amother wrote:
Bank fraud and real estate schemes

I'll enjoy the money till he's caught and goes to jail
Then I'll move on

I think this deserves its own thread. I really always wondered about the wives - Do they know? Do they try to dissaude? Are they just unable to communicate with their husbands? Do they think that a wife's role is to not be involved? Are they too busy dealing with the kids and the household? Do they love their husbands? When I was growing up there were a few husbands that went to jail and nobody got divorced ... when you say you'll "move on" what do you mean?? How are you able to "enjoy the money" now? Please elaborate!

Heyaaa

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 8:08 am

Do you really believe she was serious?!? I totally took her response as a snide response to the OP. She sounded defensive as if she thinks the OP thought that if people make over a certain salary they must be cheating. I think she thought the OP's question was rude....

Btw, I don't think the OP's question was rude but that was how I understood her comment.

amother

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 8:11 am

I really dont think this thread should go any further you are just being nosy right now and will possibly cause agonizing pain to those going through this.
I know someone in this situation and let me tell you it has absolutely nothing to do with the wives, they are 100% not involved and are suffering terribly.
Please dont make this into a discussion just for your own curiosity.
I hope this will be the last post here.

Scrabble123

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 8:14 am

I know someone with a husband who has committed fraud (and most likely still is). I feel it's inexcusable, but she is nebech abused, emotionally unhealthy, and with him. I think that this thread should be closed because it has the potential to really get out of hand, although that amother did come forward with the information herself.

Newmom12

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 8:22 am

I think the op was posting this discussion as just that, a discussion. Yes, some wives who are going through this current situation may be sensitive towards this topic, but does that mean it can't be discussed? There are women going through all different types of situations such as infertility but preganncies are still discussed. The woman who posted the comment on the other thread was possibly joking or not. However even if she was joking this still exists and I'm also curious to know the wives position. I hope that it can be discussed, but if some people find this offensive than I guess just ignore- I don't mean to cause pain to anyone.

amother

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 8:34 am

Newmom12 wrote:

No, these people already have everyone in the streets gossiping and what they appreciate most is a bit of privacy.
These woman have no control over what is happening and usually are not filled in much until its too late. They are helpless.
No reason to make this into a discussion and cause more pain

amother

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 8:45 am

Just to put every one's mind at ease... I'm the poster from the other thread who made that comment about fraud,..

I was being facetious...

My husband went to a shiur a few weeks ago where there was a video about many frum men in jail r"l.. I was just thinking about that...

gp2.0

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 9:00 am

Your question is flawed. You are trying to understand by jamming all the "wives of criminal husbands" into one category. There is no such thing.

1. Some wives care about having money and pretend ignorance about where it comes from.
2. Some wives leave Parnassa up to their DH and literally have no idea where it comes from.
3. Some wives may know their DH is criminal but may not realize the extent or severity of the crimes.
4. Some wives may realize the severity of the crimes but feel like they have no choice in the matter.
5. Some choose shalom bayis and don't want to fight.
6. Some are in on the crime and are active accessories.
7. I could go on and on....

Your question is asked as if the situation exists in a vacuum. But nothing exists in a vacuum.