How to ease a 2 year old with the idea of an upsherin?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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Beingreal

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 10:08 pm

My oldest is going to have an upsherin I"H in a month. He is a kid who doesn't take change so easily. For example, if I put on his shirt first he goes ballistic. When there is an order it's ok. My nephews are petrified of loud noises and I'm afraid they will make him more hnervous. I got him an upsherin book and every time it comes to the part of a haircut, he shuts the book and gets uneasy. Doesn't help right now he is the only boy in his playgroup.....(don't ask...whole other story)

flowerpower

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 10:23 pm

Does he have sensory issues? How about taking him to the barber to see how others get haircuts? Is there someone that is making an upsherin that he can watch? Does someone have video clips of their upsherin that he can watch on the phone?

Nomad

Mon, Oct 06 2014, 11:33 pm

Is it possible to have the haircut done at a barber who works with kids and then just have the party after? This is what we did. Immediate family went to the barber to snip as part of the upsherin and then later that day we had a nice party for him. I was also afraid of a total meltdown by the party if he got his haircut there.

amother

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 5:45 pm

To be honest, preparing doesn't always help. We tried everything we could think of and my son was still hysterical. I seriously thought I'd done it all and he'd be fine but he really wasn't.

Make sure to mention it casually every now and again but don't push the 'topic'. I read stories about upsheren's with him and had him watch his brother have a haircut. At one point the topic got him too upset so we stopped talking about the haircut bit and rather got him excited for the party side of things, what we were going to buy, bake, and prepare etc. At least he was looking forward to that part!

Though I must say that despite the struggle he was perfect once the haircut was over and had a very enjoyable and memorable day.

with a smile :)

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 5:56 pm

What about phasing in the haircut? There's a lot to get used to at an upsherin - tzitzis, kippa, haircut, party...

You could do the party and give him the kippa and tzizis and just do a few snips. Leave his hair long for a few days till he's more comfy with those changes and then do a haircut - possibly at a good and friendly kids barber if you think that's good for him. And the haircut doesn't have to be so short. You could do something which is still a bit long but more boyish and then when he's gotten used to that move on to a buzz or whatever is normal in your circles.

He's clearly not comfortable with the idea of his hair being cut, and it's part of his body, and self image. If the changes are slow, he can become more comfortable with the idea and also see for himself that by getting his hair cut he's not going to stop being himself.

artz

Tue, Oct 07 2014, 5:56 pm

let him help you buy a yarmulke and tzitzis if you have a machine at home let him hear it let him see your husband shave make it very exciting

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