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Am I crazy for even considering this?
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5S5Sr7z3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:34 pm
I was just let go from my job, and I have an offer for one that goes until 5:30. My kids come home at about 4:40 (ages 6, almost 7, and 8). Am I nuts if they stay home themselves for an hour? There are 2 neighbors in my building that are usually home then in case of emergency.

They're independent kids, know how to use the phone, know my husbands and mine cell phone numbers off by heart, can help themselves to snacks, etc. I just can't decide if I've completely lost it by even considering it.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:38 pm
Many do it. The answers you will get will be all cultural (and legal, for countries making laws on it).
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5S5Sr7z3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:49 pm
There is no law about it where I live.
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kollel wife




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:50 pm
In the US this is definitely illegal.
If a kid gets hurt (while you are home) there can be problems sometimes. But if you are not FORGET IT.
Can you pay the neighbors to babysit?

I also personally feel no matter how mature kids are, this is much, much too young. In case of a fire, would you want an 8 year old deciding what to do? What if they get into a fight, don't listen to each other. Hurt each other, etc.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:51 pm
IYamWhoIYam wrote:
I was just let go from my job, and I have an offer for one that goes until 5:30. My kids come home at about 4:40 (ages 6, almost 7, and 8). Am I nuts if they stay home themselves for an hour? There are 2 neighbors in my building that are usually home then in case of emergency.

They're independent kids, know how to use the phone, know my husbands and mine cell phone numbers off by heart, can help themselves to snacks, etc. I just can't decide if I've completely lost it by even considering it.


Do you want an honest answer, or do you want sympathy.

Honestly:

Hidden: 

You would be a negligent and neglectful parent if you left children of that age home alone for an hour without someone specifically responsible for them. Sign them up for after school. Hire a teenager, retired person, or at-home parent to look after them for an hour and a half (unless Scotty is beaming you home, you won't be able to leave work at 5:30 and be home at 5:30).
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asp40




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:53 pm
No, do not do it. Hire a teenager or an older woman who is free. What if they choke, or there is an emergency or they are sick? No way! And this is not cultural. This is safety.
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 12:54 pm
Not so good.

However.

You might try to organize an adult presence, formally scheduled, for that time.

An "au pair". A sitter. Somebody who owes you. Somebody you can do something for in return. Someone to tutor, or whom your husband would tutor, in exchange for this service.

Someone who would stay for dinner in exchange for this coverage, and go home after dinner. There might be someone who would love to get the company and the food, and no cooking, or washing dishes. Have a clearly stated understanding of when they are expected to go home. No hanging out after dinner.

With some thinking and creativity, you might get this coverage. There are agencies, too.
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5S5Sr7z3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:03 pm
It's hard enough finding a sitter for the evening, let alone for just 1 hour after school.

Kollel wife, there is NO law against this in some parts of the US. Google it.

Thanks for all your opinions. It will definitely help me decide.
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5S5Sr7z3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:05 pm
Barbara wrote:
Do you want an honest answer, or do you want sympathy.

Honestly:

Hidden: 

You would be a negligent and neglectful parent if you left children of that age home alone for an hour without someone specifically responsible for them. Sign them up for after school. Hire a teenager, retired person, or at-home parent to look after them for an hour and a half (unless Scotty is beaming you home, you won't be able to leave work at 5:30 and be home at 5:30).



This place is less than 5 minutes from my home. Only reason I wouldn't have my kids walk over is because they'd have to cross a major street.
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Dev80




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:14 pm
I'm a little bit morbid in my nervousness and when I want to do things that are not so great, like leave the kids in the bath for a minute to get a towel or leave a hot pot on the stove when I'm in the bathroom I just kind of picture that worst case scenario and I often don't do those things b/c if something happens I wouldn't forgive myself.

I think I would maybe do your scenario one time - leave my kids ages 6-8 if I knew there were neighbors to check on them but to do it on a daily basis is nerve wracking, even if you are nearby and they can call you. What if some one knocks at the door and they answer it even though they know better? I don't think you can rely on neighbors everyday or on the fact that your kids won't do mischievous things.

What about an 8th grader from their school coming home with them (or a rotation of 1-3 girls?) I had this one year 2x a week, I loved it she was great! I know what you mean about having a hard time finding a sitter...

I think you should try and make the job work out and figure out an arrangement, chaval not to take the job for this reason.
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5S5Sr7z3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:16 pm
Dev80 wrote:
I'm a little bit morbid in my nervousness and when I want to do things that are not so great, like leave the kids in the bath for a minute to get a towel or leave a hot pot on the stove when I'm in the bathroom I just kind of picture that worst case scenario and I often don't do those things b/c if something happens I wouldn't forgive myself.

I think I would maybe do your scenario one time - leave my kids ages 6-8 if I knew there were neighbors to check on them but to do it on a daily basis is nerve wracking, even if you are nearby and they can call you. What if some one knocks at the door and they answer it even though they know better? I don't think you can rely on neighbors everyday or on the fact that your kids won't do mischievous things.

What about an 8th grader from their school coming home with them (or a rotation of 1-3 girls?) I had this one year 2x a week, I loved it she was great! I know what you mean about having a hard time finding a sitter...

I think you should try and make the job work out and figure out an arrangement, chaval not to take the job for this reason.



I wish someone could come home from school with them, but we only have 1 neighbor attending the same school and she's way too young. I would definitely ask around about a HS kid, or asking an older woman is also a great idea. I would def make it work, I cannot be without a job for too long. I've left them home alone here and there already.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:16 pm
IYamWhoIYam wrote:
It's hard enough finding a sitter for the evening, let alone for just 1 hour after school.

Kollel wife, there is NO law against this in some parts of the US. Google it.

Thanks for all your opinions. It will definitely help me decide.


I don't know where you live, but in my neighborhood, there are options.

(1) There are after school electives for kids, who then come home an hour later.

(2) There are after school programs.

(3) There are SAHMs who run after-school programs in their homes. (FTR, they also run before school programs, where they give your kids a bowl of cereal and walk them to school.)
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:20 pm
if it's really only 5 minutes, and the only reason you wouldn't have them join you at the office (though I can't imagine which office is going to let 3 kids run around for an hour....) why don't you just run out every day to cross them?
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amother


 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:20 pm
Quote:
Only reason I wouldn't have my kids walk over is because they'd have to cross a major street.
If it's an easy-going kind of place where they wouldn't mind your kids showing up, (and they all finish school the same time) can't you just arrange to leave for 10 min & pick them up? (E.g. take a shorter lunch?)

I taught afternoons when DD was in 1st & 2nd grade. I arranged with a teacher who taught in DD's school & then came to my HS to bring her along. She sat in my classroom & colored. For Rosh Chodesh Adar, she actually dressed up as me (and I dressed up as a student) and she taught my class! The girls loved it! (Anon in case you were my student!!!!)
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:20 pm
Yes, you are crazy. I wouldn't even leave my kids (who are the same age as yours) alone for five minutes. What if there is an emergency?
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5S5Sr7z3




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:34 pm
Barbara wrote:
I don't know where you live, but in my neighborhood, there are options.

(1) There are after school electives for kids, who then come home an hour later.

(2) There are after school programs.

(3) There are SAHMs who run after-school programs in their homes. (FTR, they also run before school programs, where they give your kids a bowl of cereal and walk them to school.)


There are no after school programs here, and the busses only drop off kids at their home address. Picking them up would take an hour, so that's not very practical.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:43 pm
If you are in ny or nj DYFS or CPS will grab your kids in a heartbeat . Should anyone report you
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:52 pm
IYamWhoIYam wrote:
There are no after school programs here, and the busses only drop off kids at their home address. Picking them up would take an hour, so that's not very practical.


Call the school. Maybe they can change their dropoff location.
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justcallmeima




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 1:54 pm
You are correct that technically there is no legal age limit in most states as to the age children may be left home alone, HOWEVER, they did that for a reason. They don't want to give a specific age, because some 10 year olds may be mature enough to stay in a certain type of environment for a certain amount of time, whereas a 12 year old in a different type of environment for a longer period of time may not. Those judgment calls would be made by the Child Protective Services agency in your area should somebody report the fact that you have 3 young children unsupervised. There is NO WAY that any CPS worker would think that it was appropriate to leave 3 children under the age of 9 at home alone for any length of time. I wouldn't say you were crazy, but I would say you would be asking for serious trouble.
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 20 2014, 2:12 pm
1-800-SAVTINA
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