Am I crazy for even considering this?

morah

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 3:27 pm

While I believe an 8 year old is capable of staying alone for an hour, no way would I trust an 8 year old to also watch over younger siblings. If there is an emergency, he could probably take care of himself, but unlikely that he could help the other two. I read an article about a woman who was starting to experiment with how independent she could let her eldest be- I think he was 7 or 8. She discovered that he was perfectly fine on his own for half an hour. But in just 5 minutes watching te 2 year old? The toddler managed to leave the apt and mom found him waiting by the elevator. So yeah, even if he can take care of himself, leaving him in charge of others- not such a good idea.

Chayalle

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 3:33 pm

IYamWhoIYam wrote:

I was just let go from my job, and I have an offer for one that goes until 5:30. My kids come home at about 4:40 (ages 6, almost 7, and 8). Am I nuts if they stay home themselves for an hour? There are 2 neighbors in my building that are usually home then in case of emergency.

They're independent kids, know how to use the phone, know my husbands and mine cell phone numbers off by heart, can help themselves to snacks, etc. I just can't decide if I've completely lost it by even considering it.

Without even posting an opinion about whether your children should be home alone, I want to ask the question - how do your neighbors feel about it?

I had neighbors who made a similar decision without asking my opinion. I was the neighbor. I resented it terribly - but I will say, those kids were not at all independent, and they wanted to come over every.single.day. Just when my kids came home, and I finished work, etc....I was put in the "bad guy" position every time it wasn't convenient for me.

If the neighbors are your back-up plan, how do they feel about it?

amother

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 3:59 pm

No.

I just recently started having my 11.5-year-old babysit for me for a couple hours at a time. My 9-year-old wouldn't have the seichel yet to manage siblings and to ch"v handle emergencies.

When I was in junior high I had a regular job babysitting for an hour and a half after school for a family where the mother got home around the time you'd be. It was a sweet deal - I ate all their nosh, let the kids play video games, and broke up any arguments, and got paid for it! Can't you find a preteen or young teenager who'd be thrilled to have a job like that? Or do they get out later than the elementary? Can you get a sem girl?

Raisin

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 4:12 pm

can you pay your neighbor to watch your kids? Maybe 2 neighbors alternating.

Also, can you find someone who would clean and babysit? She can babysit for an hour and then do some cleaning for another hour or so.

I also babysat for an hour after school for my next door neighbor. A young teenager would happy with a job like that, especially if she lives nearby so there is not much travel involved.

marina

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 5:20 pm

kollel wife wrote:

In the US this is definitely illegal.
If a kid gets hurt (while you are home) there can be problems sometimes. But if you are not FORGET IT.
Can you pay the neighbors to babysit?

I also personally feel no matter how mature kids are, this is much, much too young. In case of a fire, would you want an 8 year old deciding what to do? What if they get into a fight, don't listen to each other. Hurt each other, etc.

ahhhhh I can't stand when people do this. Don't claim something is illegal in the US unless you are prepared to cite laws for every state or a federal law or regulation.

marina

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 5:22 pm

In my state, as far as I know, there is no minimum age. It depends on your child's maturity level. http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fa.....1.pdf

If your child is questioned, he or she will be asked if they know what to do in an emergency, the specific steps in responding to a fire, etc.

marina

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 5:25 pm

IYamWhoIYam wrote:

You are not crazy, but it's not a good idea for these reasons:

1. Something might happen and then you would feel terrible. A child could fall off the counter and really get hurt and the fact that the neighbors are next door won't really help.

2. People will not understand and will call the cops.

3. Your house will eventually become a total mess. The kids, even if they are well-behaved now, will ransack your house every day after school and eat junkfood until dinner.

amother

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 6:30 pm

In Maryland, an 8-year-old is allowed to be home alone, but is not allowed to babysit for younger children. A child must be at least 13 years old to be left in charge of another child (or children) under the age of 8.

So, if you were in Maryland, you'd be okay to do this two years from now, when they're all legally old enough to be responsible for themselves... but for now you'd have to get someone 13 or older to stay with them.

To my knowledge, NY doesn't have any such law, but NY Child and Family Services recommends not leaving children alone until age 12 or 13, and that's only if they're mature and responsible for their age.

In Illinois, they have to be 14 to be left alone.

penguin

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 6:41 pm

Quote:

There are no after school programs here, and the busses only drop off kids at their home address. Picking them up would take an hour, so that's not very practical.

I assume that's from school.

Can you have them come home, have a neighbor keep an eye out for them, make sure they get off the bus safely, and then take your 5 minute trip home to pick them up?

d l

Mon, Oct 20 2014, 10:04 pm

Doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

Think if you were a 6,7 or 8 year old coming home each day with no adult/ older girl there. It's not just once, it's every day they get home from school, 3 young children on their own.

Besides for safety, emotionally it doesn't sound healthy and what you want for your kids.

I'm sure you want someone there for them, to give them a hug, give them something to eat, break up any fights, keep them busy or just be there.

An older persons presence makes a child feel so much more safe and secure.

Good luck, let whatever is best for your children be your compass here.

5S5Sr7z3

Tue, Oct 21 2014, 8:02 am

Mama Bear wrote:

You can definitely change their bus drop off address, esp if it's a permanent change (I.e. not for just one or two days).

It's district bussing, they do not allow changes unless you move and show them proof of address.

I'm sorry if the original post wasn't clear - it's 2 kids, not 3.

Mama Bear

Tue, Oct 21 2014, 8:40 am

I also have district bussing, and as far as I know, changes of address are allowed if it's long term. Youre not the only working parent, I'm sure other working parents in the district also need their kids to be dropped off to a babysitter or afterschool or a work location. Ask the school. I'm sure youre not the only one with this need.