Social Services Thread

amother

Wed, Oct 22 2014, 9:16 am

momX4 wrote:

If you are eligible then take it and put it in a special account. One day you may need to pay for a caregiver or something and you will have the money for it.

I'm the representative payee for my children's Social Security survivor benefits. I've been told that if I save the money from their benefits, I will be required to turn it over to them when they are 18. I'm not sure that my children would be ready to spend the money appropriately at that age, so I'd prefer not to do that.

Parents in my situation who are interested in saving the benefits for their children are advised to save their own money for that purpose (it's fungible anyway). Then, when filing the annual payee report to Social Security, they indicate that all of the benefits were used to provide for the children's needs. (This is assuming, of course, that the children's expenses equal or exceed their benefit).

I'm not sure if SSI benefits are different, but it might be a good idea to investigate this issue before saving the money.

amother

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 6:51 am

amother wrote:

You can make a special needs trust.

ElTam

Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:48 am

Quote:

As a child who has been in this situation, I would have to respectfully disagree. You don't know who or what your children will be like at 18. At age 18, they could be responsible, upstanding young people who could use that money for their education or to get a start in business. My mother died when I was eight and my brother was 10. If even a portion of it had been put into a low-risk investment, it would have made such a difference in the world. As it was, the only money that my father and his second wife didn't spend was a small life insurance policy that they didn't have the power to touch.

My brother was president of his class, national honor society and went to college on a full scholarship. While I wasn't quite as successful, I got college scholarships that paid for everything but my books and room and board (all tuition was covered). I also won a scholarship to study abroad for a year, all expenses paid. But, by then, the decision to spend the money rather than save it was made, the money was gone, and there was no undoing that.

Your children have lost a parent. If you can live without a portion of that money and put it aside to give them a springboard in starting life, what an enormous gift.

And even if your kids DON'T spend the money appropriately, I think it's still a gift as they go out in the world, and a loving reminder that the parent they lost provided for them in some way, even though he isn't physically present. He won't be at their graduations. He won't be at their weddings. He won't be there when their children are born.

I know the small amount we got from my mother's life insurance meant more to me than the dollars it amounted. It was a moment of presence in my life, a reminder of her. It helped pay for little things along the way of my college career. And each time I spent a little of it, for school books, or clothes, or whatever, it was meaningful in a way I can't explain, and emotionally important.

amother

Sun, Oct 26 2014, 11:31 am

ElTam wrote:

Quote:

I'm sorry that you lost your mother at an early age. I can't know what that's like, except second-hand. And I also can't imagine the pain of feeling that your father mismanaged the money that your mother intended for you.

Yet I also feel that you are reading more into my post than I intended to say. I wrote that, if I were to save money from my children's survivor benefits, I would not save it in their names. That's not to say that I'm not saving any money for them. I'm saving as much as I can from their father's life insurance, and investing it appropriately. Their benefits are used for their current expenses, I would not be able to save any money from their benefits unless I moved them from the only home they remember and sent them to public school, and I don't think that would be in their best interest.

I still think saving their money in my name is the right decision for us. While you were very responsible at 18, and I hope that my children will be also, one of mine is nearly 18 now. And I don't think she's ready to decide exactly how to spend these limited funds. I'd prefer to guide her while she chooses how to use that money, an option I won't have if I save Social Security funds in her name.

Regardless, while I appreciate the life insurance policy their father bought for us, and I hope my children do to, I don't think they attach the same emotional significance to their social security benefits. I mean, my husband didn't choose to contribute to Social Security, it was automatically deducted from his paycheck.

I'm well aware that their father will miss their milestones, he's already missed many significant ones. As their sole living parent, I acutely feel the responsibility to manage our funds appropriately.