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Forum -> Working Women -> Teachers' Room
Teacher with weird last name



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amother


 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 11:48 pm
My married last name is one that can easily be made fun of by kids trying to be chutzpadik--which can undermine my presence in the classroom. I myself don't love it for that reason. It's an unusual name, and it can't really be altered, and using just the first letter doesn't really make it much better. Any suggestions for how to handle it?
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Scrabble123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 11:50 pm
Just state your name seriously.
Are children acting up in class while joking about the name?
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 29 2014, 11:52 pm
use your maiden name.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 12:55 am
Be confident. Be worthy of respect. Don't put up with chutzpah, but don't make drama over name games - a withering glare should be enough.

Alternatively, as long as it's appropriately, you could try preempting them by making the joke yourself when you first introduce yourself to them. That way it's already been done, they know you don't consider it a big deal, and there's nothing clever or witty about it anymore.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 3:19 am
Is there a shortened version you can use?

Example: If your last name is Miriam Poopberg, can you call yourself "Morah Berg"?
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 3:43 am
Here in Israel, they call the teachers by their first names. Perhaps that's a solution for you, too?

Also, if you can laugh or joke about your name, then it won't bother you if the kids do, too. Just don't let it be an insult.

And imo, it's not chutzpa to make fun of a name. Immature, childish, petty, silly. But not chutzpa.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 6:49 am
After a certain age (gan?) allowing to be called by your first name is the open door to all disrespects.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 7:13 am
It can be chutzpah, or not. Depends on the tone of the class.

In my first year of teaching, I tried changing my name to something I thought would engender a more respectful attitude.

It didn't work.

The truth is that respect has to be both expected and earned by a teacher. When you have it, your name could be "Mrs. Offenonagan", and the kids won't say anything about it. Without it, "Mrs. Stein" could become a target of mockery.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 9:49 am
Ruchel wrote:
After a certain age (gan?) allowing to be called by your first name is the open door to all disrespects.


All teachers are called by their first name, here in Israel. Often the name is prefaced with "haMorah".
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:20 am
chani8 wrote:
All teachers are called by their first name, here in Israel. Often the name is prefaced with "haMorah".


Mora Firstname is better. But still after first grade or so I woudn't want, and no way for a teen. Mora surname or Mrs surname for me.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:53 am
Ruchel wrote:
Mora Firstname is better. But still after first grade or so I woudn't want, and no way for a teen. Mora surname or Mrs surname for me.


Honestly, I can't call a teacher by her first name. My DH was a principal and teacher in america and I just cant imagine students calling him by his first name. It does seem disrespectful, even though I know culturally it's not. So I call my kids' teachers, HaMorah or Rebbe. I can only hope that's ok.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 11:01 am
When I was in school, I had a teacher who used one name, but have no fears - we all found out anyway that it wasn't her real name - she had been divorced and was using one name vs the other

Not that it was something that was scandalous, but point being kids find out!

When we were younger it was a Thing to find out the teacher's first name too...

OP, I feel for you, don't have any solution, but I think your best bet is to show the kids it doesn't bother you. Or maybe if there was a rav somewhere with the same last name you can talk about him and show the students that it's not a funny name like that?
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 11:54 am
Is it a long/complicated/mouth full of a name? If so, you can introduce yourself with it with confidence, and then say, "But you can say me Mrs. B.- thats easier." If they use it, you just deal, but this way you don't have to hear it or have them say it all the time.
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OneSource




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 3:10 pm
My very young daughter has a teacher with a name just like you describe. The first time I heard it, I was sure she was joking because of the way it was repeated (remember- very young girl who can't pronounce pronouns properly, let alone a long and potentially confusing surname). Overtime, she's gotten it down but it closely mirrors a very inappropriate word (which we do NOT use in our house) but when she's really excited, she just spits out the name and it sounds all sorts of wrong.

I really just wish I could tell the teacher that there's nothing wrong with asking these little girls to call her "Morah Chana" or "Morah Sarah." These little girls do know how close the name sounds to something that is inappropriate and it does slip out in a rush so I think it would be easier for them to just say Morah something instead of her surname.

But, I would never want to bring attention to this possibly hurtful aspect of her name so I wouldn't actually say anything. But, when acting chutzpadik, I can totally see little girls being mean about this name and I think that would undermine her as a teacher far more than by 'lowering' herself to let the girls call her Morah + insert first name here.
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anonymom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 7:19 pm
You don't say what age you teach.

An idea: The first time you hear a comment, acknowledge it head-on. Say something like: "Yes my last name is not one I would have chosen, but I am lucky enough to have the most wonderful husband who I did choose despite his last name. And I want to give you some advice for life, it is much better to have a wonderful husband with a weird name than a bad husband with a normal name."
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 7:21 pm
I’d use my maiden name. Then again, I do use my maiden name so it’s easy for me to say.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 7:39 pm
Know someone with a really embarrassing potentially bad sounding last name. (Not spelled very embarassingly, but if the emphasis is on the wrong syllable, it sounds really bad).

Using just the first letter of her last name could also be problematic, cuz uNfortunately, her name starts with the letter P, so if students were looking to be rude and immature, they could get carried away with that.
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ckk




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 7:44 pm
Another vote for using your full name will full confidence.

As another poster pointed out, the kids will work out very fast why your using your first name, maiden name etc. THAT would be a real display of lack of confidence in your name and fertile breeding ground for chutzpah.

In general one of the best preemptive tools a teacher can use against disrespect is her aura of confidence.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 9:02 pm
OP here, thanks for the responses. My last name IS short, yet unusual. I am a floating teacher so I work in a variety of grades. I have tried introducing it with the "running joke" about my last name, because otherwise no one knows even how to pronounce it. I wasn't sure if that was causing more harm than good. Using "morah first name" has other issues.
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