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-> Working Women
chani8
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 Thu, Oct 30 2014, 2:39 am
I learned from "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk," (IIRC) that if you feel the need to shout, make it productive. Instead of yelling criticisms, yell compliments. Yell at yourself, not at others. Yell out your feelings, but not judgments. And keep it short, one or two word bursts. This way, you're not being abusive. Just weird. 
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Frumdoc
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Thu, Oct 30 2014, 3:55 am
A professional does not yell or scream to make her point, she makes it calmly and logically. The workplace is not the right arena for yelling, for screaming matches or for emotional entanglement.
As someone who has been yelled at multiple times by a variety of people, I know it is far more productive to keep calm and handle issues than to yell and lose your temper and rational approach.
I spent 6 hours yesterday with a patient who spent most of the time yelling and screaming abuse. At no point did I lose my cool, when I felt irritated, I went and got some water and offered her some too. It would have completely escalated the situation to yell back.
If you consider the atmosphere you create when yelling, one of fear, anger and irrational/ ridiculous behavior, this is not the environment of a productive workplace. Consider this.
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debsey
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Thu, Oct 30 2014, 6:11 am
| amother wrote: | | No, my mother didn't teach me that. I wish I could never lose it. I would love to work on it, but sometimes I just literally have no control. I hate every minute. I wish I could be that person that not only treats e/o nicely, but goes above and beyond in always being polite and nice. Not for shidduchim or for the street, but b/c its the right thing to do. |
There are therapists who help people with things like uncontrolled anger or Intermittent Explosive Disorder. You can get help, and you can get it relatively quickly. That won't happen unless you acknowledge the problem, your powerlessness over it, and look for help.
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amother
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Thu, Oct 30 2014, 7:19 am
| Iymnok wrote: | Op,
Thank you for writing here if if it rechanneled your anxiety and stress. I'm sure you are proud of yourself for how far you've come, and you have every right to be. By screaming here you are acknowledging the issue. You are not happy about it. Are you doing something to lessen it? Do you need suggestions, or just hugs?
You Have to totally police yourself when you're in a position of power, you don't have the fear that others do. |
Suggestions. Thank you.
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