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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Appropriate Bedtime for a Four Year Old?



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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 9:07 am
I'm trying to decide on a bedtime for my four year old. It's a little complicated because she totally believes she is one of the teenagers and doesn't understand why she needs to go to sleep when the party in my house is just getting started!
In the past, I've had early bedtimes, but since everyone was going to sleep it wasn't hard to get them in bed. Now, she pops out, making me think that I may be putting her in too early.
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Lillian




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 9:40 am
I put my four year old in by 7:30. I let her choose a CD to listen to and she usually falls asleep pretty quick. I like when she listens to something and can't hear what's going on in the rest of the house.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:19 am
All cultural. Some will say 7!
I say 9
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:24 am
My four year olds go to bed by 6 at the latest. They wake up on their own around 6am.

ETA - if she pops out of bed, she may just need some attention and supervision. We sit in the room with a child this age until she falls asleep.


Last edited by chani8 on Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:28 am; edited 1 time in total
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rosenbal




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:27 am
Ruchel wrote:
All cultural. Some will say 7!
I say 9


Ruchel, it would also depend on what time kid needs to wake up in the morning. Msybe in some cultures school starts earlier in AM than in othets!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:30 am
chani8 wrote:
We sit in the room with a child this age until she falls asleep.


I have never heard of this, honestly. Not bashing at all! Even my mega overprotective parents didn't do this to me their only.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:36 am
It really depends on what time she wakes up in the morning and if she has an afternoon nap. My DDs bedtime is 7:30-8, she wakes up around 7. If she naps in the van on the way home from school I move it up to 8:30-9.

But my kids are also very good at staying up if they sense there's a party going on. So you either have to ask the teens to keep it down or find some way to incorporate a non-stimulating, soothing routine for the 4 year old. This can be sitting with her, reading books, rubbing her back, letting her listen to a music or story CD (only works if she won't force herself to stay up to hear the end.)
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:37 am
Ruchel wrote:
I have never heard of this, honestly. Not bashing at all! Even my mega overprotective parents didn't do this to me their only.


I'm not a mega overprotective mother, I don't think. I thought it was a good compromise to them sleeping in my bed or room, which bothered my DH. My kids all remember fondly how I sat with them (until around 10 years old).
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:38 am
Depends when she wakes up in the morning. A four year old needs, on average, 11-12 hrs of sleep. I also sit in the room at that age for 10-15 minutes after putting them in to keep them calm and allow them to relax.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:39 am
Enforcing a room time can help them not being distracted by life going on around them. Around me it's very normal. Room time is also great for parents of teens to have some space Smile
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 11:01 am
around 6:00\6:30. Normally she is asleep by 7:00.
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Mother 4




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 1:53 pm
I aim for 7:00.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 11:20 pm
Thanks, everyone
I aim for 7 too, but she has a serious case of FOMO. It's not that she is not tired or that she doesn't need sleep. It's that she wants to be part of the action downstairs. The other day, I asked her to come upstairs for her bath and she said "HELLO! I am in middle of my HOMEWORK. OMG, I have so many tests" (Um, no you are four. You are NOT in middle of your homework!)
When I finally persuaded her that she wants a bubble bath, she said "OMG, MOMMY, this bubble bath smells HEAVEN!"
She seriously is four going on 14. She has no idea why she has to be different than the big girls!
It's cute, except when it's...you know, not cute!
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rosenbal




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 11:35 pm
debsey wrote:
Thanks, everyone
I aim for 7 too, but she has a serious case of FOMO. It's not that she is not tired or that she doesn't need sleep. It's that she wants to be part of the action downstairs. The other day, I asked her to come upstairs for her bath and she said "HELLO! I am in middle of my HOMEWORK. OMG, I have so many tests" (Um, no you are four. You are NOT in middle of your homework!)
When I finally persuaded her that she wants a bubble bath, she said "OMG, MOMMY, this bubble bath smells HEAVEN!"
She seriously is four going on 14. She has no idea why she has to be different than the big girls!
It's cute, except when it's...you know, not cute!


Debsy...you made my night! Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 31 2014, 7:27 am
chani8 wrote:
I'm not a mega overprotective mother, I don't think. I thought it was a good compromise to them sleeping in my bed or room, which bothered my DH. My kids all remember fondly how I sat with them (until around 10 years old).


10 years old!

I don't know what to say, I have never heard of this. Just the idea is impossible to me.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 31 2014, 9:05 am
Ruchel wrote:
10 years old!

I don't know what to say, I have never heard of this. Just the idea is impossible to me.


Logistically speaking, I just can't imagine doing this. Sitting with the kid for so long? Especially with a kid who fights sleep? They'll keep drifting off then opening their eyes to talk to you, no?
It doesn't sound like a BAD thing to do, it just sounds unfeasible when you've got 8 kids.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 31 2014, 9:50 am
I don't see how a parent can have couple or personal time that way, unwind... I'm a parent but still very much a human. Also yeah, my kids would be distracted. Even long routines excite them.

As for the question as to when my kids get up, around 7 am for school. I couldn't deal with a very early bedtime. They are home at 5! then snack, homework, playtime, they also need a life and to unwind!
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 31 2014, 11:15 am
We went for 7:45 last night, which felt very late to me. But she DID stay in bed. I also asked the girls to go do HW in their rooms for a while, so that the FOMO would be lessened (usually we have these "homework parties" where the 16 y/0, 14 y/o, and older elementary girls sit around the dining room table and all work on whatever, generally fairly harmoniously. It actually often IS very fun.)
Let's see what happens today - I'm going to ask the Morah if she was extra kvetchy.
Debsey
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