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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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Tue, Nov 04 2014, 6:44 pm
I'm at the end of my second pregnancy and I would like my 16months old baby to feel good about his newborn sibling. He stays with me at home and he isn't so used to be with other kids. Our agenda will be different after baby's arrival (we will all stay at home) and I hope he will enjoy it.
I know for sure he knows something's going on (baby coming) but even when I try to prepare him and tell him he's going to be a big brother I know he can't really understand the concept.
I need ideas and advices of mothers who have been there on how to make him feel good about the baby when he will be born ? Do you give gift? Do you show affection to the newborn in front of oldest baby?
Also did your oldest come to see you during your stay in the hospital ? How was it ?
I'm a bit afraid so any tips and experiences are welcome!!! Thank you so much!!
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kb
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Tue, Nov 04 2014, 7:09 pm
My son was about 20 months when my second was born. We didn't tell him anything to prepare him. When the baby was born the person they showed him pictures and he happily pointed to the baby.
Then he spent two days out of the house (wasn't practical for him to be home) and when he came home we showed him the baby. He was very happy to see the baby. We gave him a few new toys - not from the baby, just to have new things to do.
After a few days, the new baby was just part of life, and I don't think he ever remembered that there was a time when he was an only child.
That being said, I had set him up with a playgroup from a few months before the birth so that he'd have some sort of consistent structure even after the baby was born.
I didn't have him come to the hospital because I felt that it would be harder for him - that it would be a tease to see Mommy and then have to leave. I knew that he was being well taken care of where he was, and that he was happy. He saw me once I was home (and I was not holding the baby!)
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bezrasHashem1
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Tue, Nov 04 2014, 7:45 pm
Having two kids so close together can be challenging but one advantage is that the older one is too young to feel jealous. My son was upset to see me nursing the baby but he didn't project the feelings into the baby. Also newborns don't need too much attention so your can take care of the babies needs and then spend quality time with your big one. Also I would highly recommend that of you plan on nursing, you should have a babysitter fire you're big one during the day. I didn't,I kept then both how with me and I had to stop nursing after a few months because my baby never had a relaxing feeding. I was always feeling rushed and anxious that my big one needed me...bsha'ah tova and hatzlacha!
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Laughing Bag!
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Tue, Nov 04 2014, 9:59 pm
I had my first and second 19m apart. My older one was actually talking already but I Bh never had an issue. First thing I did was give her a gift 'from the baby'. When I nursed I would let her sit next to me and play with her doll. Or I'd tell her stories. Its not always comfortable but we made it work. I did try to nurse when she was sleeping whenever possible. She still took long naps so it worked.
I did not demand that she like the baby but I did tell her how much the baby likes her. The baby actually cried a lot so I had to either hold him or ''tell'' him that I'm busy with his ds. Basically showing the older child they are very important to me while still not completly ignoring the baby. I did try to keep the baby low profile in his bed out of sight whenever possible. The hard stage started when the baby starts demanding attention that they rightfully deserve,turning over, crawling, sitting,cooing.... but I'd always make it about older child if she was there. Baby talking to you. Baby says I love you. Baby wants to play with you..... Bh never had the issue with jealousy.
At this point we have a 21m dd with 2w old baby and so far so good. The less the baby is put in limelight the better off you are.
Good luck.
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