How to teach problem solving / communication skills

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 4:33 am

DS doesn't seem to be able to express himself in an appropriate manner. What is the best way to teach him to communicate instead of hitting etc. and to let go of his frustration in an appropriate manner.

imasinger

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 6:36 am

How old is he?

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 6:46 am

Eight.

moramom

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 8:15 am

I have a very similar situation with my son at same age...he goes out once a week to social skills..but we sometimes talk thru puppets at home after a big blowover.. somehow talking thru puppets makes it more anonymous

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 9:36 am

OP here. He doesn't actually have social skills issues.
It's seems to be more a communication thing. He gets easily frustrated and immediately acts up. If he's upset with his brother he'll hit, kick etc. instead of coming to tell me what happened.

33055

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 9:45 am

amother wrote:

Do you tell him to use his words? Do you listen and try to coax more out of him? Do you have him writing?

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 10:06 am

My ds is younger than yours but this works for us.
I offer a prize for ds starting a sentence with the words "my feelings are..."

amother

Fri, Mar 13 2015, 3:49 am

OP here. Still struggling with this... he's fighting and hitting his brother ALL the time...

chani8

Fri, Mar 13 2015, 4:08 am

Keep him away from his brother. Zero tolerance for violence. If he hits, stop him. Be a policeman and physically stop him from assaulting another human being. It's your other son's basic human right to not be abused. And then, just keep him away from others. Until he grows up a bit, or you figure out why in the world he's being so violent. If you don't know why the violence, take him to a therapy session or two. You'd be surprised how well kids unload their problems in therapy.

Mommastuff

Fri, Mar 13 2015, 6:53 am

Maybe he doesn't know the right words to communicate his frustration. Can you start your conversation with him by offering suggestions/questions of how he feels?

Example: "You sound frustrated that your brother doesn't let you have a turn with the toy!"

Teach him to understand his feelings and also to voice it to the perpetrator. Teach him how to ask for what he wants through words, not hitting.

You may want to talk to him in private so he doesn't feel attacked.

Hatzlocha!

Page 1 of 1