Bris Book Suggestions

amother

Thu, Nov 06 2014, 8:24 pm

Please could you recommend any books about bris milah that are good for parents expecting IY"H their first boy. Also, I remember seeing, I think in Binah, a list of essentials for expectant mothers which included a book about boys - anyone remember which it was?

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 7:44 pm

Bump

seeker

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 8:40 pm

There's a book called "Bris Milah Secrets" that I enjoyed but it might be a bit heavy, depends on the reader's style. It is a lot of information, lots of detail about each law and custom and so forth. But a great thorough compilation and clearly written.

There's also an older book I think called simply "Bris Milah" by Rabbi Paysach Krohn. Might be a little less dense, or not, I'm not sure. It's an Artscroll classic.

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 8:42 pm

B'shaah tovah. I don't know anyone who had a book about bris milah. The mohel will tell you what supplies you'll need, how to care for the baby post-bris and what to watch out for (mainly signs of infection). IIRC you need some sterile gauze pads about 4 inches square, some neosporin antibiotic ointment, a bottle to feed the baby right after the procedure, a couple of cloth diapers--we may have needed these for the mohel to wrap the baby's legs so he doesn't kick at a critical moment, but some mohalim have a kind of tray with velcro'd straps that serve the same purpose.

wereafamily

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 9:52 pm

There is a new book called Boy Oh Boy.

amother

Sun, Nov 09 2014, 9:57 pm

OP here

Sorry - I meant to clarify that I'm mainly looking at minhogim and what we need to think about in terms of practicalities and decisions. We have NO experience in arranging a bris etc and no living relatives who can guide us for minhogim.

seeker

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 3:42 am

Oh, OK. In that case I suggest you talk to your rav and mohel. It is really not that complicated.

In a nutshell the main thing that people need to decide and have different minhagim about is metzitzah (blood suctioning), which has become somewhat of a hot-button topic lately. In the past people didn't really think about it so much, if it was your custom you did it and if not, not. This is something you should probably ask your trusted rabbi and/or mohel about rather than drive yourself crazy researching. If you personally don't want metzitzah by mouth, then the question for the rabbi wouldn't be "should we or shouldn't we" but rather "how to go about it not by mouth." And then you can request from the mohel, at the time of hire because not all are equally flexible, to follow what your rav advised.

Everything else is pretty self-explanatory, the mohel will tell you anything practical you need to do.

The Bris Milah Secrets book includes descriptions of many customs. You totally don't need to take them all on, most people don't.

Some basic customs to be aware of:
~Most people dress the baby in white, this is probably just for looks and not so important but if you're trying to be "standard" then go for it. They also rest the baby on a white pillow. There are people who lend out special fancy baby outfits and pillowcases for this occasion, ask around in your neighborhood.
~There is usually a "sandek" who holds the baby during the bris and a "kvatter" who brings the baby to the bris. These are considered honors, you would assign them to someone special in attendance - like your rabbi, best friend, etc (often the baby's grandfather could be a sandek but you said no living relatives, just mentioning this to give you an idea of what is meant by an honor - kind of like getting a bracha under the chuppah) Kvatter (bringing the baby in) is generally given to a married couple, the wife takes the baby from the baby's mother, hands him over to her husband, who delivers the baby to the sandek who will hold him during the bris. You should let the person know in advance that you would like them to have this honor, so they will know what to expect.
~Someone's going to have to arrange food; there is usually a seudas mitzvah meal involving washing and bentching. Many people keep this simple by putting out a bagel breakfast buffet.
~I honestly can't think of anything else that's customary at just about every bris. Chassidim probably have a host of extra minhagim but if you were chasidish you probably wouldn't be looking here for minhag info. The mohel will probably take care of everything else and ask you about anything that's optional.

My husband is a mohel but he is the kind who will tell you that any minhagim you want are optional and the main thing is to reduce stress and extra effort/expense Smile

Ruchel

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 7:51 am

http://www.amazon.com/Milah-Se.....10629

Just skip the "interesting" things against non metzitza mila unless that's your speed. Otherwise, incredible book.

amother

Mon, Nov 10 2014, 8:20 am

Bris Milah Secrets actually sounds very good - just what I'm looking for. It's a long book, though, what do you think about buying it now - I'm just a bit nervous to do that - but otherwise, what's the point?

I think Boy Oh Boy is the book I read about - sounds amazing.

Also, my wording was a bit off - my parents are living, b"ah, but never had boys and I'm a BT. My DH's parents are no longer alive - and he has no living family who could help.