Skirt Lengths | Imamother

proudmommy123

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 10:43 am

I'm sure this topic has been discussed many times over
I always think that f I wear opaque tights (heavy black) then even though my dresses or skirts are just by my knee its ok, yet at times I get these stares from other women like c'mon make it longer, issue is the DH loves it this way, we live in BP he's chasidish wears Shtreimel on Shabbos, so if its good for him its good for me too I would love your opinions.

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 11:06 am

From what I understand, there are 2 parts of the leg. The upper part and the lower part. The upper part the poskim I hold by consider to include the knee in all positions. The lower part is underneath.

The difference between the 2 is this:
The upper part must be covered with a loose garment, without showing the shape of it. Hence, the skirt.
The lower part we hold can be covered with a form-fitting garment like tights (others hold it doesn't need to be covered at all).

Therefore, the knee must be covered in all positions by the skirt, regardless of the use of opaque tights or not. For your own modesty and comfort level, wearing tights when you have a "shorter" skirt on (one that still covers the knees) may be appropriate so there is never a gap with skin showing.

sky

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 11:07 am

If you are asking if it is okay to do this - then I think imamother is the wrong place.
I would think your rav would be a better place to get an answer if it is permissible. (personally I've never heard that tights covering the knee instead of a skirt is permissible)

Kitten

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 11:40 am

Don't think that everybody looks at what you wear. Besides, if they do, why you assume they disapprove the clothing you choose, and even if it's the case, what's the problem if both DH and rav (and your community by extension) think it's ok?

penguin

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 12:16 pm

Quote:

I always think that f I wear opaque tights (heavy black) then even though my dresses or skirts are just by my knee its ok

Do you mean just below or just above?

Because just above, there is no excuse if you want to be considered appropriate in Boro Park. (If you don't care, why ask?)

Just below, there is certainly a risk of showing your knees when you walk, let alone climbing a stair or getting into a car, or even just bending over a stroller or a shelf in a store.

I don't know BP that well, but is it possible that your black tights are conspicuous because almost everyone wears beige?

amother

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 12:20 pm

Honestly, I'm one of those women that stare. No, I don't live in BP or even Brooklyn, and frankly, if you saw my dh you would think we were modern as he wears (gasp) colors and a kippah seruga.

I stare because I think it's ridiculous that a woman with a husband who wears and a streimal or otherwise charred or chassidish clothing, won't even cover her knees. And think that just because she's wearing opaque tights, that it's ok. I also think it's weird that your dh thinks it's ok. What IS your derech?

Signed,
confused.

mille

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 12:26 pm

If you don't care, go for it. Don't worry about what other people think, it ain't any of their business.

Signed,
A woman who wears pants.

(If you are asking if it's "halachically allowed", well, that certainly depends on who you ask. So you might want to ask your own shailah, because if you ask me, my rabbi holds that pants are fine for women... Yet I highly doubt yours would ever think that is acceptable)

Heyaaa

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 12:35 pm

amother wrote:

Why are you judging them based off each other? He does what brings him closer to Hashem and she does what bring her closer to Hashem. Just because you disagree with what should bring each of them closer to Hashem, the fact is that they are each individuals and have to decide for themselves what they need. No two people on the planet are holding in the same place and even if married couples should want the same things out of life and they should choose a similar path to get there, the nuances are for each person to decide on their own, irrespective of how cohesive they appear to others.

zaq

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 2:51 pm

Do yourself a favor and have it both ways: Lengthen your skirts to below the knee for public appearances, and reserve your minis for your dh eyes only at home. For a dh to want his wife to reveal more of her body in public than is the norm in their community is different only in degree from pimping her out.

amother

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 7:06 pm

Heyaaa wrote:

Nope. Her wearing a short skirt and "cheating" with opaque black tights is NOT what she does to bring her closer to Hashem.

They are individuals and perhaps are not holding in the same place, but I still think it's weird, when I see women with charred husbands and sons in the airport with hats and Brisker payos and she wears skin-tight above the knee clothes. BECAUSE THEY LOOK CUTE. NOT because it brings her closer to Hashem.

zaq

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 7:21 pm

amother wrote:

women with charred husbands and sons in the airport ... she wears skin-tight above the knee clothes. .

Evidently the men are charred because G-d flame-broiled them for encouraging the women to dress that way.

amother

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 7:43 pm

amother wrote:

And I think you should spend more time doing Chesed (that means Kindness for modern people) , and get involved in Tikun Olam, and learn more TORAH so you won't have time to be so judgemental...

Signed
GO JUMP IN THE LAKE

Breina

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 7:54 pm

amother wrote:

Gosh! Judgmental much?

out-of-towner

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 8:09 pm

Breina wrote:

Gosh! Judgmental much?

Nope. It's just that if you belong to a certain commuinty, and your/your husband's dress implies that, then you should live up to what that community holds as Halacha. And I doubt that the Chassidish community holds that not covering ones knees entirly with a skirt is Mutter.

agreer

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 8:28 pm

Excuuuuuuse me, but OP is blatantly asking for our opinions. She's asking for honest, open judgments. To pounce on a poster for being honest is RUDE.

If I really wanted an opinion and all I got was "this is the wrong board for it"--gee, thanks.

At least the people expressing themselves will give OP food for thought and help her understand WHY the people are staring.

OP, my comment directly to you is this:

In your heart, you know what's right and what's wrong, what pushes the boundary and what fits or doesn't within the spirit of the law. Like you say, you are chassidish from B.P. How could you not know?

Why you care what others think is beyond me. From previous posts, you seem to be a vocal, opinionated, and strong woman. I don't know why you need the approval from others, be it other posters on this site, the women in your community, or - shocker - even your husband, to do the right thing.

I think you know what needs to be covered, halachically. I hope you find the strength to do the right thing.

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 8:31 pm

No knees. Your leg will look slimmer if you cover them, anyway. The knee is a lump and the eye stops there. You will also look taller, slimmer, and have a sleeker line with the knee covered.

Console hubby with floaty things at home in private.

There is something childish and school-girlish about seeing the knee. Dorky.

amother

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 8:55 pm

"DH loves it this way"?!?!?!

He loves that you show the world parts that should be just for him?!?! He loves parading you around like a trophy so that others can covet you and think more highly of him?!?!

Banging head

amother

Tue, Nov 18 2014, 9:43 pm

IMO a person is allowed to dress not tznius in the bedroom ''because their husband likes it that way'' but that excuse doesn't give a heter when you're in public. If you know it isn't allowed, then your husband liking it is not an excuse to do it outside the house.