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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Selective mutism
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 24 2014, 11:36 am
amother wrote:
My daughter's kindergarten teacher suggested that she had selective mutism (and we're happy she did!). We took her to a social worker who helped her work on the "worry bug" that was keeping her from speaking up. We saw excellent results (in under a year) and while my daughter will most likely not ever be the "life of the party" she has made exceptional improvement and her worry bug is a thing of the past. As others have mentioned, I would recommend doing your research to really find the right therapist to work with your child.


Is it hard that you have had two kids that have had it? I also have a couple of kids.. and it's not easy. Do you have kids that talking in school have come easily for?
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 24 2014, 12:10 pm
I'm an ot and based on some research I have been doing lately, reflex integration exercises may help with selective mutism. You may want to look into it.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 24 2014, 12:19 pm
I had selective mutism in preschool. I felt severe anxiety in school. At home I was very talkative and normal
I remember always crying, and my teacher, getting annoyed, punished me for crying , assuming this would stop me
I was very young when I started school (2 1/2), and never wAnted to go to my class when the bus arrived to school- instead followed my older sister, only to get shooed away into my class
I don't know if this caused my selective mutism, but I remember that I was so paralyzed with fear, that even if it seamed that I was comfortable, and taking part in class , I was so terrified to say anything. I simply couldn't.
Then in pre 1-A I had an exceptionally warm caring and loving teacher. I don't think she did anything specific to help me open up- just her acceptance. That 1 day I opened my mouth for the first time and responded to my teacher when She asked me a question. It was a major breakthrough ( though I wasn't ready to talk to classmates yet), but unfortunately it didn't go too much further than that. I began first grade, and only whispered to my classmates, at times slightly using my voice. I never started a conversation with anyone.
I went through elementary, then high school being socially awkward, then when I came home I unleashed myself.
I still have a very hard time connecting to people, have a lot of social anxiety.
Don't let this happen to your child. Get as much help as you can, Do whatever possible to get her to feel comfortable in school. Its worth every penny. Because the way she feels in school, most likely, that's the way she will feel around people later in life
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mamapa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 24 2014, 9:34 pm
I would love to be in touch! my daughter has a great therapist who is very into forging a triangular connection of home, school, therapy. she is smiling and more talkative to her teachers but not to her peers. any advice on what to do for class plays/ graduations ???
TIA!
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 1:03 pm
mamapa wrote:
I would love to be in touch! my daughter has a great therapist who is very into forging a triangular connection of home, school, therapy. she is smiling and more talkative to her teachers but not to her peers. any advice on what to do for class plays/ graduations ???
TIA!


That is so terrific!!!!!! How old if your daughter? What grade is she in? Class plays and graduations are always hard, id be interested in hearing ideas too.
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JMM-uc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 1:48 pm
Selective Mutism: The Sound Of Silence | My Child Won't Speak
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:26 pm
JustMeMyself wrote:
Selective Mutism: The Sound Of Silence | My Child Won't Speak


Just wondering what the point was of posting this? Do you have a child with selective mutism? I found this video very depressing... it didn't say how with proper therapy kids can flourish and overcome it!!!! Also I thought it was really sad how they were speaking about the little girl right in front of her Sad
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JMM-uc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:27 pm
If you watched the whole thing, you would see how they're treating it. All three overcame it successfully. That's the point.
It might of cut the documentary short. Do a Google search and you'll find the full version.
I don't have a child with this but I know someone who had this. It's all about anxiety. Intense intense fear.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:32 pm
JustMeMyself wrote:
If you watched the whole thing, you would see how they're treating it. All three overcame it successfully. That's the point.


I'm sorry. It was only a clip that I saw and didn't mention treatment. I didn't realize that there was more to the video!!! thank you for clarifying!
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JMM-uc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:50 pm
The full documentary is about 43 minutes long.
You see them going through therapy and slowly feeling safer and opening up and talking more.
They each do it differently, each step is explained by the therapist.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 7:54 pm
The following is taken from http://www.rhythmicmovement.co.....x-fpr

It is about the fear paralysis reflex.

I am the ot that mentioned reflex integration. If your child has two or more symptoms from the list, you may want to find an ot who works with reflex integration. It is a protocol of exercises that must be done everyday, and one day the symptoms just disappear.

All I am saying is "please look, there may be other options for you".
Here is the quote
The FPR is a withdrawal reflexes that emerges in the embryonic stage. During this .stage the embryo reacts to stress and stimulation by withdrawing and freezing. As the fetus' tactile awareness develops, withdrawal upon contact gradually lessens. It is thought that this reflex is the first step in learning to cope with stress. Ideally, the FPR merges into the Moro reflex and has become inactive before birth. If the FPR is not fully integrated at birth it may contribute to life-long challenges related to fear. People with the FPR active may often be very anxious and tend to veer towards negativity which can prevent them from easily moving forward to living a meaningful, interactive life. An active FPR often goes hand-in-hand with an un-integrated Moro reflex.



Some possible long term effects of an unintegrated FPR are:

Shallow, difficult breathing
Underlying anxiety or negativity
Insecure, low self-esteem
Depression/isolation/withdrawal
Constant feelings of overwhelm
Extreme shyness, fear in groups
Excessive fear of embarrassment
Fear of separation from a loved one, clinging
Sleep & eating disorders
Feeling stuck
Elective mutism
Withdrawal from touch
Extreme fear of failure, perfectionism
Phobias
Aggressive or controlling behaviour, craves attention
Low tolerance to stress
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 8:51 pm
I have one child with SM. I never heard of the therapy you mentioned but my next stop is google- thanks so much!
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mamapa




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 8:59 pm
also, I saw the full clip of this video, among many others and unfortunately I have been in the situation where I have had to talk about my child's SM in front of her and she got very upset!! I explained to her in advance that if questions are asked (say during an eval) and she cannot answer them, then I have to in order to get her the help she needs to be able to speak comfortably in all situations. she was really upset but I think she understands that I have to be her mouthpiece if she is unable to... it is sad and frustrating, but ultimately necessary to help the child as many psych evals have to be done with the child present... (which I disagree with but the insurance companies haven't asked my opinion!)
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 8:59 pm
amother wrote:
I have one child with SM. I never heard of the therapy you mentioned but my next stop is google- thanks so much!

Your welcome! My goal is to bring awareness of the different options and therapies that have been poven to work to the Community. I'm glad you are looking further into it!
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mamapa




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 9:01 pm
of course! anything I can read and use to help my daughter and her therapist/ teachers is worth looking into!!
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 9:03 pm
I didn't read all the responses yet, but I am a teacher with a student with selective mutism. COMMUNICATION between parents and teacher is key!
If you would like you can PM me about things you can ask the teacher to do.
I don't feel comfortable posting publicly about a student, though.
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mamapa




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 9:12 pm
hi anonymous,
are you sure the pm wont go through? she is 5 1/2 and in kindergarten. her therapist recommended that she be given a choice if she wants to be with other children on the stage and if so, does she want a speaking part with other children together (how it is usually done) or a silent part of holding up a sign... I need to discuss with teachers and get their take on it. I have heard that there were famous actresses who had SM but didn't have a problem acting because the words were given to them... not sure if it is true..?perhaps!
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amother


 

Post Wed, Nov 26 2014, 1:09 pm
OutATowner wrote:
I didn't read all the responses yet, but I am a teacher with a student with selective mutism. COMMUNICATION between parents and teacher is key!
If you would like you can PM me about things you can ask the teacher to do.
I don't feel comfortable posting publicly about a student, though.


You sound like a very special teacher. I agree that communication is very important. It isn't always easy though. What age do you teach
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