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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Good bye pacifier help



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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 1:47 pm
Almost 3yr old DD still uses a pacifier when she goes to sleep. For the past few months, we have been discussing that when she is 3 yrs old, her pacifier will go into the garbage because she is such a big girl and she will get a huge big girl treat.
But ... she's getting more and more attached to the pacifier now. She looks for pacifiers during the day and hides away sucking them, takes pacifiers out of the babies mouth, decides that she's tired and needs to lie down == pacifier time. I've also noticed that she'll put a stuffed animal or the like in her mouth at times, so I think it's becoming somewhat of a oral fixation.

I don't know how she feels, but I'm getting more and more apprehensive about the pacifier farewell odds of success. What can I do to make this work?
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MMCH




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 2:49 pm
we had the same exact issue with my now 4 year old.
At first because I felt bad for her, I started limiting it during the day, and then only at special times, and ect ect...she was getting more and more attached it like your daughter.

So I went the bribing tactic. I hyped up her 3rd birthday like crazy. We would talk about how big her bday would be, a party in school, at her bobbys house, at home AND she would get a scooter!! but after talking about all these amazing things, I reminded her constantly how pacis gave to go in the garbage the day you turn 3.

She wanted those parties soooo badly that miraculously it worked. she never looked back, never had a bad night bh. (though she still has her special pillow, which I think I fine)

good luck.
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m+m




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:01 pm
We keep a very strict "in the crib" policy with 2.5 yr old DD. DD knows that as soon as she wakes up she needs to put the pacifier in the crib. So far it's working.

My ortho told me that until age 5 there is no lasting effect of a pacifier on the teeth/mouth. I'm not saying I would keep it till 5, but at least I know it's not going to affect her in the long run.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:30 pm
My son was having some occupational therapy at age 3. His occupational therapist got him a special "chewy" toy to replace his paci. It worked for my son. We threw out the paci and he has the chewy toy if he needs the oral stimulation. I don't know what the chewy toy is called, but I would think u should be able to order online somewhere.
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L25




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:53 pm
we got rid of the pacifier at 3. Before that it was a constant struggle during the day, keeping it only for bed just didn't seem to be working. She would find it and put it in her mouth...When she turned three though we made a big deal about it at dd's birthday "party". Instead of throwing it out we gave it to her aunt to give to her younger cousin. After that if we found a pacifier lying around my DD would say how she was putting it away for said cousin. It was very sweet and went unbelievably smoothly. hatzlacha!
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amother


 

Post Tue, Nov 25 2014, 4:58 pm
L25 wrote:
we got rid of the pacifier at 3. Before that it was a constant struggle during the day, keeping it only for bed just didn't seem to be working. She would find it and put it in her mouth...When she turned three though we made a big deal about it at dd's birthday "party". Instead of throwing it out we gave it to her aunt to give to her younger cousin. After that if we found a pacifier lying around my DD would say how she was putting it away for said cousin. It was very sweet and went unbelievably smoothly. hatzlacha!


That's what we're hoping for. I've been hyping up the birthday party, and how big she will be, and how the pacifiers are going away ... but I just don't see it happening so fast!
(to make it worse, I have a baby who has a pacifier so there will be pacis around anyway that she can find. I really have to convince him to only take a pacifier in bed...)
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teddyb




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 26 2014, 12:47 pm
We also did the throw it out when you turn 3 method. We spoke about it for a few months.

Until then the paci was limited to bed time or rare circumstances when he would ask for it to help calm himself down. we made him go to his crib to use it and we would ask him how many sucks or minutes he needs and then count 10 sucks and he would give it back.

For a few months before we also worked on having him try other ways to calm down before getting the paci. Take a drink, get a hug, wash his face etc. We said that big boys dont get a paci to calm down and use one of these other ways to calm down.

The morning he turned 3 I said happy birthday and by himself he went to the garbage and threw out the paci. Later at nap time he went back to the garbage to get it... but it wasnt visible anymore since it was Shabbos and we already had the seuda. He cried and we helped him calm down using a BIG BOY method. Its been about a month and hes mostly ok with it.

His 1 year old brother still has a paci and sometimes he will be missing and we will find him behind the couch or under the table with the baby's paci. He will also sometimes ask for it to calm down and we tell him its not for big boys.

Im thinking of getting rid of the 1yr olds paci before he turns 18mo (was told not to initiate paci weaning between 18mo and 3yo) so that there are no pacis for him to find. Yesterday the babysitter couldnt find the baby's paci by his nap time and he napped without it so im actually hopeful that we can pull it off in the next couple months...
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 26 2014, 1:12 pm
You should have said nothing at all.

It should have "gotten lost" when she was about three.

After a bit of transitional annoyance, life would have gone on. But she is hoarding pacifyers because you talked about this dread event.

Keep silent and forget the whole thing. Eventually, when all has been forgotten, throw them out, say nothing, and deny everything, and get a new amazing toy or game. Something to DO, not just HAVE. A craft project.

Talk is bad.

No talking.


Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Wed, Nov 26 2014, 2:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 26 2014, 2:30 pm
You need an incentive besides being a big girl Smile Promise her some big treat when she's ready to throw out her pacifiers. Also, expect that she will mouth other objects. Its natural and she will need it, so think about how you can fill that need in a way that's acceptable to you.
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