if you don't have any parties to go to and want to go to one

yo'ma

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 8:30 am

This is a spinoff of the one with so many chanukah parties to go to. A few posters wrote that they wish they had even one to go to. Make your own!! When I lived near my family, we went to theirs, just one b'h Wink

, but since we moved away from them, the first few years I missed not having any chanukah party to go to. Finally I decided if I want one, I'll make one. Since my dh doesn't like parties, I made it for my children and invited my friend with her children. We all had a very nice time.

boysrus

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 8:57 am

yo'ma wrote:

Hi yo'ma, I was one of hte posters who said that I am lonely on chanukah and have no party to go to or no family to spend time with. I also wrote in my post that I have tried inviting people but to no avail.
Every year I search around for people to invite who also dont have family around. But somehow they never can come or they have cousins or close friens who they are getting together with so cant come to us. I always feel extra sad unfortunately on the day that I know my parents overseas are hosting their chanukah party with all o fmy siblings, nieces, nephews and my grandmothers. I know that we are the only ones who are not there, my kids are the only ones not getting to spend time with their relations, and it makes me feel very sad. But I guess that's life.
So, bottom line, we try to make our own chanukah party on our own as a family, but it is definitely lacking the specialness that family events of my youth had. My kids will fight with each other just as tehy would any regular shabbos meal or birthday party.... whatever...

yo'ma

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:02 am

boysrus, I saw your post after I started this thread. If you really want, do what I did. Like I said, my dh doesn't like parties, so I didn't make it with adults. I let each of my children invite up to 2 friends and I invited my friend with her children. None of her children are friends with mine because she has all girls and I have almost all boys among other reasons. Anyway, I made games for the kids and we all had a very nice time. It was in middle of the day. Very often we have summer vacation during chanukah, so we have more free days.

amother

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:05 am

yo'ma wrote:

A few posters wrote that they wish they had even one to go to. Make your own!! .

I'm one of those posters. You make it sound so simple!

I have 1 sibling, a bocher- nothin there,SILs- live far and are disinterested, few cousens far away,neighbors-ha! all my 3 neighbors aren't friendly, and I have no way to make new ties

but... since I'm so desperate, I planning a class get together and a N'shei evening.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:09 am

amother wrote:

we're a young couple and live far from everybody we know. So I am inviting dh and my 6m old to my party Smile

I'll make his favorite supper, put together a game and a slide show and take things as they come:)

That is my norm. I have never understood why online people "need" guests or more crowd at holidays. I didn't grow up that way.

yo'ma

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:10 am

amother wrote:

You're looking at it the wrong way. Don't think you're so desperate, so you're planning a class get together and a N'shei evening. Look at it from the perspective that you would like to get together with others on chanukah, so you're doing those things, not out of desperation, but just a simple need, so that's how you're able to fulfill that need.

boysrus

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:15 am

Ruchel wrote:

That is my norm. I have never understood why online people "need" guests or more crowd at holidays. I didn't grow up that way.

Ruchel, the bolded is the answer to your question about why people need more 'crowds' at holidays. You didnt grow u p that way. However, if you had grown up that way and knew full well that all your siblings were partying in your loving parents home and you and your kids were missing out, and not only that but also yo could see that all your friends and neighbors were leaving their homes to go party wiht family, then you would feel sad and feel a major lack...

boysrus

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:17 am

yo'ma wrote:

I hear what you are saying yo'ma. Glad it has worked for you. Personally I work with little kids and my idea of a chnaukah party is not to host my kids friends and have to entertain them, rather it is to enhance a social life inhonor of chanukah for myself, as well as my kids! and it makes me miss my family when everyone else is getting togehter wiht family....
Different strokes for different folks. but thanks for helping us lonely people try to find solutions to improve the loneliness. I wish you a lichtige, simchadig chanukah!

amother

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:35 am

yo'ma wrote:

your completely correct, you just stepped on a sore spot.
I'm lonely all year, and it's hard to see all my friends and SILs have family parties. and if I would'nt be making the parties no one else in my class or my community would.

yo'ma

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 10:18 am

amother wrote:

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm very easy going and I don't NEED people, but it's nice. I didn't know anyone the first few years living here and I didn't even know the language, but I just went with the flow. Different strokes for different folks! Smile

hinenimuchan

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 12:49 am

amother wrote:

You are so fortunate to have a class that celebrates chanuka, a N'shei group willing to follow your lead, time to organize the get-togethers and a family situation that allows you to spend time on Chanukah with your friends. Maybe it would be helpful to try to focus on what you have, and on how the get-togethers you're making will likely give at least one other woman who's more "desperate" than you an opportunity to attend at least your get-together. Think of it as an opportunity to demonstrate ahavas yisroel and bring us all that much closer to dedicating the final temple!

As for your family of origin's party, why not attend virtually? You still have time to access a computer if you don't have one, and a free video call program like Skype; and to have/help your family do the same. With a little planning (worth it, no?) and a cheerful attitude, your virtual appearance can be actually be a highlight of their more-of-the-same gathering.

Last edited by hinenimuchan on Fri, Nov 28 2014, 1:20 am; edited 1 time in total

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 1:11 am

Im with RUchel on this one. Growing up the chnuka party was my parents, siblings and grandparents lpaying dreidel and eating sweets.
No big get togethers.
Forthe past few years with most of my siblings in Israel we have done shabbat chanuka together. Its been beautiful.

YOu dont need tuns of people. Like yoma said, just a few.